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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

More of a wwyd about dishes at a wedding reception

93 replies

TeddyBare · 07/01/2010 19:15

A close friend is getting married soon and I was speaking to another friend who is considering not going to the reception because of the meal options (!) which I found a bit The bride is veggie and her dh is vegan so all of their meal options are veggie or vegan. I'm veggie so I didn't see this as a problem (and all 3 options sound yummy) but the friend is seeing this as bride trying to force her views on her friends. We 3 used to live together at uni so I know there have been issues with this friend feeling pressured into not eating meat around her veggie friends (we didn't try to make her feel like this but she lived with 4 veggies / vegans so prehaps inevitable), but I also know that the bride would be very very upset if this friend didn't come for this reason. I'm wondering if it would be appropriate to mention it to the bride (how?!) to try to help avoid this becoming an issue. I'm fairly sure she wouldn't mind too much including a chicken dish if it would avoid any problems. Would I be better to just keep out of it and be there for the bride if she is dissapointed?

OP posts:

DaftApeth · 07/01/2010 20:16

What a bizarre ''friend''

I'm not a veggie and still find the friends reaction odd.

I'm allergic to some foods and so made sure that at my wedding these were all avoided in the menu. Why shouldn't I? I wanted to be able to eat everything

I wouldn't mention it to the bride but would tell the friend they were being pathetic.

Hullygully · 07/01/2010 20:16

It's just so atttention seeking. It wouldn't kill her to eat meat on just one day, especially as it's someone else's big day! I don't understand why she is trying to make it about her. Is she not married? Perhaps she's jealous?

mistlethrush · 07/01/2010 20:21

You could get her a greggs sausage roll to put in her pocket for the meal...

cumbria81 · 07/01/2010 20:22

I'd be a bit miffed if all the dishes were veggie and kind of see your friend's point of view (if there as no vegetarian option at a wedding there'd be uproar) however I think that not going is a bit out of order.

Tortington · 07/01/2010 20:22

the friend is being a prize twat.

i think if anything needs to be mentioned it is to the meat eating friend and tell her she is not a friend worth any salt if she is considering missing her firends wedding for this reason - then tell her she;s a prize twat

Original poster

TeddyBare · 07/01/2010 20:28

Hullygully - if it's not the bride's big day then whoes is it? Both the bride and her dh are veggie (he is actually vegan). The person who thinks there should be a meat dish is a guest.

OP posts:

RockBird · 07/01/2010 20:29

Friend is a weird twit. I'm a confirmed meat eater, love meat and could never give it up, but I could cope at a veggie wedding for a few hours. Tell her to have a bacon sarnie for breakfast or something if she's that desperate for a fix. Is she frightened it's catching?

Hullygully · 07/01/2010 20:32

Yes, I'm not thick. Of course there should be a meat dish - it's a wedding!

mistlethrush · 07/01/2010 20:35

Its somewhat different suggesting that there should be a vege option at a 'normal' meal - vegetarians (and vegans) don't, of course, eat meat. However, the vegetarian bride is not expecting the friend to eat anything that they don't eat on principle - almost certainly, whatever the vegetarian/vegan options are at the wedding reception are likely to be made from foods that the friend already eats on a regular basis - just not as the main part of a meal normally.

JaneS · 07/01/2010 20:36

Hullygully 'Of course there should be a meat dish - it's a wedding!'

am I being a bit slow? Where exactly in the marriage vows is there a promise to provide meat for assorted comers?!

Hullygully · 07/01/2010 20:36

What about chicken? The friend can't object to that surely? It's a bird.

thisisyesterday · 07/01/2010 20:37

friend is being an idiot

cumbria i don't think the argument works the other way round.
unless of course the said friend is on a meat-only diet due to her beliefs. in which case i am sure she'd be catered for.

thisisyesterday · 07/01/2010 20:38

the thing is people who are hnot vegetarian can still eat veggie food!
(unless they have some moral issue with vegetables?)

but a vegetarian can't eat a meat-based dish

it isn't the same thing at all

pointydig · 07/01/2010 20:39

hully, gerron

Hullygully · 07/01/2010 20:41

But anyone can eat chicken! They're birds!

mistlethrush · 07/01/2010 20:42

Anyone can eat vegan food.

Hullygully · 07/01/2010 20:43

Not if they're a different religion, though.

lazyemma · 07/01/2010 20:45

"I'd be a bit miffed if all the dishes were veggie and kind of see your friend's point of view (if there as no vegetarian option at a wedding there'd be uproar)"

But that's because vegetarians by definition don't eat meat, whereas the vast majority of meat-eaters don't only eat meat so wouldn't have to go hungry if there wasn't meat on the menu.

Ivykaty44 · 07/01/2010 20:46

Can you just tell your friend it is not the last meal she is ever going to eat and if she must put sandwiches in her handbag for after she leaves.

When I was invited to an Asian wedding I didn't expect there to be an english meal put out for me - although that day If I had asked they would have brough any of the quests the moon

I tryed the food set out liked some and didn't like others.

fgs it is only food for one meal of the day out of thre ask your frinend to get a grip

Ocarina · 07/01/2010 20:46

We went to a veggie wedding a couple of years ago and dh threatened to take a packet of ham to put on the top. In the end he had a big meat-filled cooked breakfast and survived fine (I'd've disowned him if he'd done the ham thing although the bride'd probably have laughed at him!). Eating one veggie meal's not going to kill anyone, the friend should stop being so silly and get on with it.

JaneiteIsAWimpyTeacher · 07/01/2010 20:47

Hully - so are vultures: can anybody eat those too?

Original poster

TeddyBare · 07/01/2010 20:47

Hullygully I don't really understand.

''It's just so atttention seeking. It wouldn't kill her to eat meat on just one day, especially as it's someone else's big day! I don't understand why she is trying to make it about her. Is she not married? Perhaps she's jealous?''

Who are you talking about when you say it's someone else's big day? Neither of the soon-to-be married couple eat meat, and it's their wedding therefore their big day. Of course she's not married yet - the discussion is about their wedding I'm not sure who she would be jealous of either.

OP posts:

Laquitar · 07/01/2010 20:48

Cant the friend have a kebab on her way there if she cant live one eve with no meat?

SmacOnTheLipsUnderTheMistletoe · 07/01/2010 20:50

incase you hadn't noticed Hully likes to take a big wooden stick and stir, stir, stir.

MollyRoger · 07/01/2010 20:50

bit of wafer thing ham'd be alright, surely ?

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