To think DH is some new kind of useless streak of piss?

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

OMG
DH is 'sporadic' in his housework, but when he does it, he does it properly. It's too few and far between for my liking but hey. He had some time at home on monday without DS and did a few things. Fair dos. Today is the first full day at home since end Nov for him and DS. I got up for work, changed DS, gave him his breakfast, got myself ready and hung out the clean washing. Winched DH out of bed and left.

I kindly picked DS up from DH in town on my way home (sort of - took me an extra 25 mins) so he could go to mate's. Get home and....

Washing up still on dining table, not in kicthen, let alone washed up

DS pyjamas on living room floor

Bin full of nappies still where I left it

Toys everywhere

etc, ad nauseam. Had to cook DS dinner and tidy up first. Thing is, it took me 10 mins tops to straighten the place up, which is what I told DH at length over several phone calls. I just can't believe it's all he can do to watch DS and get them out of the house (not until 3pm I might add)

I know he's capable of more but what a fucking useless shower he is. I ranted copiously about how disrespectful he is and how lazy and he just listens with that 'patient DH' face on (I know I can't see him but I know he's wearing it). I have left him every scrap of washing up to do but this better not be the case tomorrow, I will have his balls for earrings.

and breathe............

(now sitting with large glass of wine and pasta cooking on hob, DS sleeping and TV on)

I think YADNBU then

BitOfFun

near nothing.

Not actually nothing

YABU.

I know exactly what you mean re the "patient DH" face. I thought my DH might have patented it - a relief to know he hasn't. He does Patience of a Saint really really well - it makes me look like an unreasonable banshee witch from hell, despite the fact I am Always Right. It's infuriating .

Totally YANBU.

My DH will carefully step over toys on the floor after the kids are in bed.

So thoughtful

YADNBU.

My Dh would do this sort of thing and it would make me feel exactly how you felt today!

It doesn't take long to tidy toys away/do the washing up, but it is so depressing to walk into a mess you know you have to clean it up yourself.

He knew you would get home and have to do all that so yes I think he was being a twat and a useless streak of piss

I have one of those dh who takes clothes out of a drawer and leaves it open. Every time

drives me mad

LOL @ husband who does housework. Mine now leaves his socks and pants in his trousers on the floor for me to pick up!

I never did that when I was single myself but then I had nobody to do it for me and wouldn't want to anyway. Having my lifetime-lover strip my underwear from my clothes, ew, no no!

I'm a bit "what is this ironing of which you speak" too LeQ.

I think I'm like your DH. My house is clean but almost always very messy - unless I know we have nice friends to visit. Best friends and my family don't get the tidying before they arrive any more.

I do feel lazy sometimes, but more often than not it's because I just don't "see" the mess. With things like cleaning kitchen floor and bathroom though I'm great and possibly a little ott. Cleaning is natural, tidying isn't for me.

-I can step over toys/ kids p.js/ my own coat on the floor and totally not notice it. It used to drive my mother nuts when I still lived at home.

-I constantly leave drawers open, sometimes i walk in the kitchen and realise that it looks like that scene off the 6th sense, where the ghost opens all the cupboards.

-I usually have every light in the house on. Then i notice and turn them all off, wondering how I hadn't noticed.

• Washing up being left doesn't bother me, even being left overnight. I often wash up last nights dinner plates whilst that nights dinner is cooking.

I know I'm like it though, just can't change it.

Ach! The leaving of the drawer open - there is NO excuse, NONE!

My dh takes clothes out of the drawer and leaves it open, and takes clothes out of the wardrobe and leaves it open, and takes things out of the kitchen cupboards and leaves them open - and leaves stuff like the biscuit tin, bread board etc on the work surface (complete with crumbs) rather than returning them to said cupboard.....

Eeeerr I think we may be married to the same man, oh hang on, no you said your DH does do a bit of housework.....can't be my husband then!

Whilst my DH's pathological messiness does drive me round the bend I've kind of come to the conclusion that it's either become a nagging harriden or just get on with it and do it myself.

I usually plump for the latter as I hate being a nag but I having a c-section on monday and am seriously considering the former. I remember the state of the place after DS2 (4 weeks before the bathroom got touched - boak) and I can't face that again and seriously - how long does it take to do a bit of 'maintanence' housework? Lazy buggers!!!

What is it with some of the comments on here, seriously get a grip!

Men and woman are equals, he might only have had one day of since November, but that doesnt make the OP his mother, you make a mess you clean it. simples!

Im my husbands wife and mother of his children, not his bloody slave!

YABU - I think this is normal DH/male behaviour, infuriating it may be.... mildly annoying perhaps - but useless streak of piss - was expecting much worse from title that just not doing 10 mins of tidying up. Why is it worth getting stressed about 10 mins of tidying up?

YANBU and I hate it that so many women on here seem to think you should be grateful that he does any housework at all.

My DH and I are always very equal with housework and who does what, it boils down to who has more time that day, somedays its me and somedays its him.

Ive had comments that I'm 'lucky' that I have a DH that is like this?! I always tell them that its not about luck I wouldnt have married someone that was not prepared to have an equal partnership. Simples!

My reaction wasn't anything to do with the amount with the amount of housework her dh does or doesn't do.

My reaction was to the language used in the OP and title - totally disproportionate and offensive whether in RL or on the internet (probably read by several hundred people - so what makes the internet not RL?).

I couldn't care less who picked up the pajamas - but I don't think anyone deserves that language.

This reminds me why I never use mumsnet in the evenings.

Bailey It's nothing to do with being grateful - but everyone on this planet is entitled to a "duvet day". Yes, even your husbands!

As others have pointed out, maybe he just wanted to play with his son.

It's just NO excuse to come home raging and ranting - that behaviour is unnacceptable - housework or no housework. If the roles were reversed my god there'd be hell to pay around these parts! When will "so many women around here" realise that it's just not on to talk to your LOVED one in such a manner?

Although tbh kat - every other week you're itching and bitching about this man - when are you going to wake up to the fact he just doesn't make you happy?

skihorse - I dont get your point really in response to my post? I didnt say that men shouldnt have a day off so no need for the shocked expression with your suggestion...

Bailey You implied that we're all just grateful little women because once upon a time a man picked up a pair of dirty socks. That was what I was objecting to.

The rest of the post wasn't all about you... sorry to burst that bubble.

skihorse - well if you name me and quote me then I tend to think it is all about me

"I think this is normal DH/male behaviour, infuriating it may be" - this is what my resposne was based on.

Can you imagine if this was swapped round, and a husband was ranting about his wife not doing the housework.

I suspect the replies wouold be somewhat different.

Op is your husband a sahd & you work full time?

If so YANBU.