(shallow) to tell my DCs that they are beautiful?

[Undercovamutha]

I truly want to know if it is BU to regularly tell your DCs that they are gorgeous/handsome/beautiful.

The reason I ask this is cos my Mum thinks that it encourages shallowness and the idea that beauty is of ultimate importance.

Due to the fact that she holds this view, throughout my childhood I don't ever remember her saying anything like 'you look beautiful in that dress', 'you are gorgeous' etc etc. I say these kinds of things to my DCs all the time.

I wonder whether my poor self-image is down to this (I am confident in general but not about my looks at all) or not. Or whether my mum's 'realistic' view is the way to go. After all, I don't want my DCs growing up to be too concerned with their looks either.

What do you think? (BTW I do truly believe that my DCs are stunningly gorgeous!!!!!).

My Mum told me I was beautiful every day. I think it helped as I was a very shy child. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that I believed her.

She also told my brothers that they were handsome.

My dd is much prettier than I ever was and I tend (like others on this thread) to emphasise her effort/kindness/problem solving skills etc.

Morloth, I think my mother may have been wearing the mother-love version of beer goggles! With regard to me, that is, she's right about DD, obviously.

im always calling ds handsome, gorgeous, stunning, because he is of course as is dd!

its good for there self esteem, dp said to ds tod, go and give a breadstick to fatty (meaning dd who is one) i quietly killed told him NEVER to say that again, that isnt something i want in my 2yos limited vocab!

Im not ashamed to call them it in public either, although dp stopped calling dd his little princess because theres two girls actually called princess who live near us and to many people asked if it was her name.

I already worry that my daughter (age 2) will only believe she is beautiful and worth anything if she conforms to that ridiculous media created version of what women should look like.
I will probably overcompensate but tell her I think she's fabulous at everything.