For telling dd1 she isn't getting a bithday present?

[Marne]

Dd1 had a party for her birthday last year, i told her this year money is a bit tight and she won't be able to have a party, now its getting closer to dd's birthday she is now getting very upset about not having a party.

I said to her 'ok, if you want a party you can have one but i will not have enough money to buy a present', she said she would rather have the party.

So i was speaking to my dad today and he said i was being mean by giving her a choice of a party of a present.

So AIBU by not getting her a present?

She will get presents from her friends (at the party) as well as from family, plus she got so much for x-mas (which she doesn't really play with).

She will be 6, and i know its a little young to understand money etc..

Im not getting invloved in this debate as Im a bugger for spending cash, but, just had nosey on your profile, and your daughters are such gorgeous little girls

Thank you monkey .

yanbu - you gave a choice and dd chose the party

as said a few times,obv your dd will get pressies at party/cash from friends and family so dont worry about not getting her anything

Mi Marne,
Have done quick ebay scan and can only see new ones :-( (triceratops with volcano?), but there might be some not labelled well if you're up for looking into it more. did see other dinosaur stuff at low prices tho.

best of luck with whatever you decide. I'm sure she'll love the day whatever happens.

Thanks Mayfair.

Just spoke to a lady from the soft play center and the party is going to cost a small fortune , because i wanted the party after school it runs outside of their normal opening hours and i will have to pay extra. I suggested to dh that we hire the village hall and a bouncy castle but after sitting down and working out the cost (bouncy castle, food, party bags etc..) and the fact we will have to clean the hall it will end up costing just as much as the soft play.

Dh said we can't let dd1 down as she has chosen the party over a present and has her mind set on it. I think i will have to sell a few things on e-bay to pay for it.

How old are they when they stop having parties? [GRIN].

Hi Marne

Item is in John Lewis Online Sale for £19.99. There is ONE left in stock. Free pick up if you live near a John Lewis or £3 delivery.
Hope this helps. That means you can swipe the extra from Grandad toward Party!

YANBU so long as this is not about budgetting inadequately for a post Christmas birthday and so long as the same dilemmas apply to all the children in the family and not just the child who happens to have a birthday at this time.Only pointing this out as there always threads about how some peoples children with Dec/Jan birthdays often get a raw deal. Also these comments are targetted more at the tight` dh rather than the op.

My nephew had a pancake party once - real cheap!!

I once helped some friends on a budget and found a really pretty necklace in argos for about £5 and I agree about the £ shop for things like bangles, I bought my son a glittery cowboy hat from the £ shop and saw things like craft things, pink feather boas, tiaras etc which could be presents for your little girl or even the present in a pass the parcel etc.

I once knew a girl who for her 8th birthday said (well obviously under the instruction of parents) 'don't bring presents please donate money to charity instead' which although a lovely thought I felt was unnecessary for a child of that age - I agree that the excitement is in the unwrapping and a party can be done quite cheap!

I worry about the tight OP too. There's a time to be tight and there's a time to put your priorities in order. A child's b-day is no time to put the family into debt, but everyone knows it's coming up for 364 days, and a bit of planning and putting something aside is possible.

Marne Is there a minimum amount of children you have to have for a party at the soft play place? If not why not just invite less children (perhaps 8-10?) DS has been to loads of parties recently where the party bag has just had a piece of wrapped up cake in it so don't think you have to spend loads on them.

Loudlass When your DC have friends over for sleepovers on the birthdays they don't get parties how many friends are they allowed over? Do you do anything special like take them out for tea or for a trip out as well? Just curious by the way.