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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with H this morning??

88 replies

galadriel77 · 01/01/2010 10:54

I gave my husband a pass to meet his mate at the pub last night at 10.30pm. He said he wouldn't be out long but I wasn't too fussed as don't really control what he gets up to.

We've got 2 under 4 and I am 35 weeks pregnant so wasn't bothered about staying up so took myself off to bed at 11.30pm

DD2 woke me up at 12.30 and took ages to settle. I expected H home at about 1am. Heard him roll in at 2am with our neighbour and another bloke I'd never met before; they were really noisy and kept me awake until they all sodded off at 4am. Then H came to bed and snored for the next 3 hours until the kids woke up me up at 7am.

I got up and found they have drunk all the rest of the Sloe Gin I slaved over to make this year - we had half a bottle left after giving the rest as gifts.

He is still in bed and I refuse to wake him up as I'm not talking to him this morning. I feel as if he was really inconsiderate and selfish last night and I started 2010 in a foul mood.

Am I being unreasonable to have expected them to go to my neighbours house who has no kids and no 35 week pregnant wife in need of sleep.

Is is unreasonable of me to shout at him when he gets up or am I being a party pooper?? I'm just so tired.

OP posts:

scottishmummy · 01/01/2010 18:07

has anyone suggested she leave him yet or said he is an abuser/posted a useful link to i am goddess hear me roar at male injustice.com?

that's the usual on Mn if anyone says their man looked at them funny.someone rocks up shouting
ain't no waaaaaay id tolerate that he'd be dust
leave him
bash his clackers/change the locks/kick him out

what a big hissy fit about sweet fa

Original poster

galadriel77 · 01/01/2010 18:15

scottishmummy - you seem a little wound up by this - more than I am perhaps - something you'd like to talk about???

I love my husband to bits - he's the best thing ever. Which makes it harder to deal with if you feel someone is taking the piss a bit - makes you feel a bit taken for granted. But I do sometimes feel like that and think it's quite common when you spend most of your time with small children!

I'm not in a hissy fit - but feel that you are actually trying to provoke me into one with your particularly inflamatory comments. I think we'll come to the conclusion that you think I am a raving lunatic for expecting sleep and that I think you are having a bad day and I'm a good target for you. I did ask if I was being unreasonable so expected a mixture of answers but you seem to be making it a bit personal and into a rant in general!

But Mumsnet did work as I hoped! It let me blow off steam when perhaps I was feeling unreasonable instead of shouting at my H. But the posts also made me realise that it's not too much to expect some consideration from my husband!!

OP posts:

scottishmummy · 01/01/2010 18:17

dont project your bad day issues onto me.thanks.

coldtits · 01/01/2010 18:19

SM I don't think the OP is the one projecting.

emskaboo · 01/01/2010 18:35

Me either, SM have you got a stinking hangover or just an attitude problem today; you're being a cow; pack it in will you?

scottishmummy · 01/01/2010 18:43

LOL oh you go gorlfriend!you going to tell me some more more searing home truths and incisive wit

or are you leaving it at your a caaawwwwwwwwwww you are

narna · 01/01/2010 19:31

YANBU

emskaboo · 01/01/2010 19:49

If I wanted to I'm sure I could conjure some cutting and appropriate epigram, but why would I waste it on an argumentative inadequate who wants to pick a fight with people on a chat forum instead of addressing her need for asprin and water/a serious reflection on her life and behaviour (delete as appropriate).

gizzy1973 · 01/01/2010 19:50

YANBU

I am 39 weeks pregnant and no small children to run round after but would have been pissed off if hubby had woken me up

scottishmummy · 01/01/2010 19:51

and b-r-e-a-t-h-e.you do get might het up,dont you

kittywise · 01/01/2010 20:04

emskaboo, you are right.
Sm, you are normally not quite as bad as this.

scottishmummy · 01/01/2010 20:09

shall we stick to the thread without digressing into MN module 1 psychobabble and cheeky quips for the hard of thinking

however,if indeed people wish to proceed i shall read with interest attempts at guessing my (unconsciouss) motives.

other than that the op is being bitty unreasonable as i said yonks ago

kittywise · 01/01/2010 20:13

Sm I don't think anyone's that interested tbh

scottishmummy · 01/01/2010 20:14

jolly good.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 01/01/2010 20:31

I'm more pee'd off that DH didn't drink last night. Here I am all fat and heavily pregnant with my pretend wine (schloer) and DH didn't even drink the champers I'd saved him! Neither did he drink the beer/wine/baileys, etc. What a waste. I've actually craved champers/wine for the past week of this pregnancy and it's not because it's Christmas, it's the yummy zing. Schloer and Appletizer will have to do for a few weeks yet

ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 01/01/2010 20:39

Hmmmm, this thread illustrates something i often feel about mumsnet - I bet, the OP has spent longer with her DP than she should would have done if she hadn't posted. Then she has had to defend her view point, and then her relationship. I dont think her OP was that UR, however as lots of us said, dont be starting 2010 on a downer. Then people came along baying for his blood, as very often happens - "oh, my DP didn't put sugar in my tea, im sure he doesn't love me anymore" - "leave him, hes an emotional abuser" This will only get worse brigade turns up.

I think scottish mummy was about this and not the OP herself.

Now, will you all make up and play nicely????

scottishmummy · 01/01/2010 20:48

all too often on MN many dh threads descend into he's an abuser manipulator.
lately on Mn if anyone says their man looked at them funny.someone rocks up shouting
ain't no waaaaaay id tolerate that he'd be dust
leave him
bash his clackers/change the locks/kick him out

then a helpful link to i am goddess hear me roar at male injustice.com? appears

this is an observation on mn.not the op or her man - no we dont concur but it isnt personal.

ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 01/01/2010 20:57

This has happened to me on more than one occasion - i have posted a mini irritation about DP on AIBU and have ended up having to defend my relationship - i did once post about giving my DP a blow job in exchange for a Big Mac and people had me down as a poor dominated wife who had to sell herself for food

scottishmummy · 01/01/2010 21:09

ah,was that you.did you get a pasting?

KissingUnderTheMittsletoe · 01/01/2010 21:11

Well You WERE unreasonable Ijustwanted... A blow job at least deserves a two course meal, not just a Big Mac.

kittywise · 01/01/2010 21:18

or at least a large fries and triple shake as well

ImSoNotTelling · 01/01/2010 21:19

Ha I remember that you were never allowed to forget it were you

Funny I wouldn't be in the slightest upset at (shocl horror) person goes to pub on NYE and gets pissed with predictable outcome... However if DH lobbed a teabag at me I would be disconcerted to put it mildly.

Takes all sorts I suppose

ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 01/01/2010 21:42

it was my proudest mumsnet moment

scottishmummy · 01/01/2010 21:43

lol begs the question what would you do for a happy meal?

MitsubishiWarrioress · 01/01/2010 21:45

You'll have to buy me one to find out SM........

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