to try to talk DH out of going away?

[KTNoo]

I think I'm a fairly reasonable wife normally. We have 3 young dcs and live abroad with DH's work.

Soon we're heading back home for a visit. We'll stay with my parents. I want to go for 2 weeks so the kids can get used to the time difference which takes a while. But DH says he only has enough annual leave for 1 week. The reason for that is he is taking a week's annual leave to go off to Iran with a friend not long after this trip.

I'm ok with him going away on his own for that (not too happy about choice of Iran, safety-wise, but that's another thread), he does it about once a year for a week or so. So if I go home for 2 weeks and he only comes for the second week that means me flying 8 hours with 3 children on my own one way. But I would do that so he can keep his holidays.

However now he is saying when he arrives at my parents' he wants to go away for 3 nights to see some friends he hasn't seen for ages, about a 3 hour drive away. Which would mean he only sees me, the dcs and my parents for about 3 days before we fly back. Apart from feeling that's quite rude to my mum and dad I also feel he's pushing my generosity too far.

He says he hardly gets to see old friends nowadays and my parents don't care about seeing him anyway, they just want to see me and the dcs.

AIBU to try to stop the trip?

I agree with *FiveSoloRings" abougt the danger that insurance may not pay out. Insurers do read the FCO advice, you know, and they love an excuse not to pay out! Check the small print of the insurance for this exclusion.

Apart from this issue, I do think your DH is being unreasonable to want to use yet more of his annual leave away from you, the family. Note the syntax: you are the family; he is not. No chance you could decide what to do with your own leave is there, and I imagine there is an element of duty in going to see your parents in the middle of nowhere.