To think that the council should not be leaving a single mum, with her three children to kip down on her mothers floor

[ijustwanttoaskaquestion]

I am not entirely sure of all the details but i just feel that the situation my niece is being left in is not right, as in, i think something has gone wrong with her local council housing system.

So, she is 23 has three under three, her partner left her when she was pregnant with her third - he just disappeared. Hes a twunt apparently, well rid. They had a rented place but he didnt pay the rent so they were evicted. Because of this, the council told my neice she was "intentionally homeless" and woudlnt put her on the waiting list. Eventually she contacted her MP who contacted the council, as it was not my niece who was evicted but her partner who she now has nothing to do with. She was told she was a priority case and was given a password for the online bidding system. She since has her third child and informed the council - now, this is second hand, but apparently she was told this "we have changed the system now, you are now on the bottom of the list and you can expect to be living on your mother's floor for the next three to five years".

She has three children, she sleeps on the sofa and the children are sleeping in travel cots. Her mum basically lives in her bedroom, although why its like that i dont know - its a three bedroom housing association house, but there is the my neice, her mum, her brother living there - the third bedroom which was my nieces is a box room and apparently being used for storage.

This cannot be right?? Surely, leaving aside the fact that she was less than sensible to put herself in this situation by not sorting out contraception after the first child, there are still three children living in unacceptable conditions. Apparently, my niece is coping very well but it must be so hard for her.

She does not get on with her housing officer and feels she is prejudiced against her for getting the MP involved in the first instance, i cant say whether this is true or not.

What can she do?? Can she not rent privately and claim housing benefit? The council have told her they wont support her in this.

As i say, i don't know the full situation but wondered if anyone has any advice for organisations to approach etc - people to write too, appropriate thigns to write to the council to make sure her case is being handled properly.

I dont want to say where she lives in case she is a mnetter. But i know it varies from council to council. I just find it hard to believe that someone in her position wouldn't be on the priority housing list.

Perhaps she's done all that already, curiosity. We don't really know what has happened between the mum and daughter.
Perhaps all advice and guidance has been ignored. Maybe she is having her daughter home to ensure the grandchildren are safe and hoping that by chipping away, the penny drops soon with the daughter taking responsibility for herself.
We don't know the real situation, do we?

I guess SS will have to become involved if the Mum, the Gran and the OP and the woman herself are not able to provide enough support to get her up on her feet.

She has LDs, doesn't that sometimes mean that it can be hard for people to absorb and retain information? Wouldn't somebody trained in helping people with LDs be more likely to be able to get her up and sorted?

There will come a time when Gran and Mum simply cannot assist any further and if the girl's issues are such that she can't provide for her children then somebody is going to have to assist. I thought that was the reason social services existed?

expat - where did I say she should do those things - I said could. She might not want to for a start but I can't see why she'd take her in if she wasn't going to help her sort something else out - was she just thinking she'd be there forever or put up with it until she decided to go somewhere else. Practically speaking it sounds as if she just needs a leg up so why expect SS to do it when she has family that she is living with? The OP hasn't said the niece is defined as a vulnerable adult - if she were surely SS would have been very involved from the minute she fell pregnant. The OP says the children are being well cared for and frankly it sounds as if there's nothing needed but a bit of ordinary family support and guidance and that SS would have better things to do. Especially when this is something the woman's family could help with.

juule - that's very true. I have no idea what has really gone on but I was going mainly from what the OP said about the mum not helping her and assuming it extended to those things.

oh dear, i feel quite bemused at all this kerfuffle!

I did state in my OP that the information i had was second hand from the gran. She has told me that the girls mother is not helping her out at all, thats all im going on. I would not want three young ones in my house i have to say - but i dont think i would lock myself in my room and not lend a hand either. As i said, this is second hand information.

I'm surprised that this has turned into such a debate to be honest.

I have had some good advice on here - thankyou

There isn't any kerfuffle just people speculating and discussing a post. That is how it goes really.

For the mother to have retreated to her room is it possible that she needs help. Perhaps she feels she has done all she can and is at the end of her tether.
Do you think the grandmother is telling you this to enlist your help aswell?
Would it help if you all got together to see what you could all do to help each other and so help the daughter and her 3 children. I think this would be more helpful than seemingly (and I know I could be wrong) accusing others of not helping enough.

This young woman has LDs so even if her mother does help her to find a private rent/get a deposit together, move in etc, she is still a vulnerable young adult. In this case I still think it is best if SS does get involved, even if only on a temporary basis, to make sure she can cope.

ijustwanttoaskaquestion all I can say is good luck and hope you (and the family) get it all sorted.

Here's my two-penny's worth. At 16, I was suffering from depression caused by abuse I had suffered as a child. I was living with a foster family, and became involved with a 26 year old man. We got engaged, I was working towards (very good) exam results, I was on the pill, and we were using condoms. I still fell pregnant. (We had a condom failure, but I unwisely thought it would be fine as I was on the pill, however I didn't know that antibiotics affected the efficiency of the pill). I didn't feel old enough to have a child, and booked a termination. My partner at the time BEGGED me (on his hands and knees) NOT to kill his baby. As we were meant to be getting married, I relented. When I was 5 months pregnant, I caught him in bed with another woman, who was 8 months pregnant with his child. I left him. I was forced to leave foster care and move into a mother and baby unit. I was not able to finish school or sit my exams. The CSA ignored my case for 9 years before I got ANY maintenance. So, I was on benefits for a couple of years (I suffered very severe PND). I then picked myself up, started work (and at 19, all I got back then was £3.10/hr) while a friend looked after my DD (who was by then almost 3). I worked awful shifts, finishing at 11.30pm, having to walk 4 miles home after. I met someone else, got married, had a baby with him (at 20, we were both working in the same shop). The shop shut down, so both of us lost our jobs on the same day. So again, back on benefits. He eventually got a job, then started shaing one of the girls there. So I left him. I then met a lovely bloke, who ran a pub, and we got together and had a baby. Then within the space of a month, his pub was taken over, he lost his job, I was dxd with severe epilepsy, and our baby was dxd with (some of) his disabilities. Lovely bloke got very depressed, and f'd off. (although he DOES pay maintenance). I immediately (with a 5 week old baby, 18 month old toddler and a 5yo DD) went back to work in a (very crappy) minimum wage p/t job. Then after a year, I got a f/t job, again very low pay (about 3p/hr over min wage). I worked there until 2 yrs ago, when my epilepsy got considerably worse, when I was signed off as 'permenantly sick'. Does that mean as a single parent with 3 DC's (that were all conceived while I was either in a relationship/married) that I don't deserve to get benefits or council housing? Having been in foster care, I feel it's safe to assume that NOT all families take care of their own, or are even capable of dealing with MLD in their DC's, some chose to ignore it. I am different, and will always be there for my DD with her MLD, I know it is going to make her vulnerable to situations like the OP has posted, but at least she'll have me.

C.A.B?

I think she needs to get some advice.

loudlass, you sound like an inspiration - all the very best of luck to you for the future x

Loudlass you sound like you've had a rough ride I hope things are turning around for you now xx and your getting the support you need. xx

Can I rent a home I have to my sons girlfriend who has his daughter? She currently get full HB but lives miles away from any family or friends.i am buying a house that would be great for her but I duno if the housing authority would allow her to rent it off us.
Also,does anyone know of a mortgage lender that will do a buy to let mortgage but will also allow us to rent to my sons girlfriend on HB.? It's all so complicated.i just want to help out and I see no reason why I couldn't rent the house to her,please can anyone who knows about the benefits system give me some advise,and also anyone who knows if I can get. Buy to let mortgage that will allow me to rent to her.

Firstly this is a thread from 2009!!
Secondly, why the fuck should the tax payer effectively buy you a second house?