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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this was rude and a bit creepy of this photographer

74 replies

Irishchic · 23/12/2009 22:08

Bear with me, this is a bit long for an AIBU.

Two weeks ago my dd attended her first ballet display at a town 30mins drive away. There was a photgrapher there who had set up aa studio and was taking snaps of the kids for about £5 and upwards and the deal was that the pics would be sent out to you and you left your address.

Yesterday he rang me and asked did I want to come along to his studio and pick up the photos. I said that I understood they were to be posted to me and he said that he could do that, but couldnt guarantee I would have them before Xmas. I said I was fine with that as anyway I lived 30mins away and the roads are covered with snow and wouldnt travel over anyway.

Next thing, this evening, my childminder has just left, when she comes back in the front door saying that there is a guy at the door for me. I get up from the tea table where I am feeding the kids and as I am walking out into the hall he has already (without being invited in ) stepped through the porch into my hallway with the photos in his hand. I am a bit taken aback but thank him for going to the trouble of delivering them personally (although secretly think its a bit OTT) but while I am talking to him he keeps kind of looking on past my shoulder into our kitchen at the kids. I just felt odd about it, I didnt like that and I certainly didnt like him coming on into the house behind the childminder, I thought that was a bit rude and creepy.

AIBU or should I just be grateful to this guy?

OP posts:
NightShoe · 23/12/2009 22:10

Hmm, be grateful this time, trust your instincts and leave it at that. I assume you now need no further contact?

You might be right, you might be wrong, he might be a really lovely guy just trying to help out.

llareggub · 23/12/2009 22:10

What a bastard. How dare he hand deliver the photos in time for christmas. Stone him at once.

5inthesleighbed · 23/12/2009 22:14

I think you're being slighty unreasonable. I think it was nice of him to make sure you got the photos before Christmas.

Not everyone who is in the vicinity of your child is a paedophile

edam · 23/12/2009 22:14

really hard to say - you were there, you felt he was creepy...

But maybe he was being nice delivering the photos, and maybe he walked in because the door was open and it's bloody cold outside?

Anyway, you never have to see him again, so no harm done.

Original poster
Irishchic · 23/12/2009 22:19

I hear ya, look i'm not one of these hysterical mothers who think everyone is a paedophile.

It was the fact that no one else in the ballet school lives in our town, so he travelled 30mins specifically for that, he walked on in to the house and kept looking over my shoulder and just a feeling, hunch, call it what you will, (some of you no doubt will call it neurosis) but I'd prefer to call it instinct, and it just didnt sit right with me.

But yes, its done and dusted now. Just wanted to get the feedback from m'netters and thanks to all.

OP posts:
JeremyVile · 23/12/2009 22:20

Could have been a bit sinister, could have been a straightforward kind gesture.

As Edam says you wont see him again and no harm done.

Fwiw I was reading it thinking he fancied you but if you felt he was creepy then perhaps he was.

paisleyleaf · 23/12/2009 22:25

It might not even have been a kind gesture - but simply wants a sale.

Original poster
Irishchic · 23/12/2009 22:28

Paisley leaf he had been paid by cheque the week before so no need to be paid anyway.

OP posts:
paisleyleaf · 23/12/2009 22:30

ah, I misread the OP. I just know that some self employed people are really pushing for sales etc just now....but obviously not here.

Brunettelady · 23/12/2009 22:32

YANBU. I was creeped out by it. Call me cynical but I have met a few 'weirdos' and I always go with my instincts.

Hopefully you won't have to see him again but seeing as you had already paid, I really can't see why he went to the trouble of hand delivering. Why would he care if you had them for xmas!

Mincepiedermama · 23/12/2009 22:32

I think you shouldn't ignore instincts. It does sound a bit weird and OTT so I personally would give him a wide berth in the future.

Our instincts are their for a reason and should be trusted IME.

LovelyDear · 23/12/2009 22:34

no, i think it's creepy. sorry to differ...

lou031205 · 23/12/2009 22:38

It is cold. It is Christmas. You had told him you wouldn't travel because of the weather. He did.

Where did you want him to look? People are naturally drawn to the source of activity.

Poor guy. Society's gone mad.

LittleMontyontheDustyRoad · 23/12/2009 22:38

I'd be unnerved by it.

It did cross my mind that he fancies you but then there's the looking over the shoulder bit.

And you have instincts.

Original poster
Irishchic · 23/12/2009 22:45

lou, Society hasnt gone mad just because at the ripe young age of 40, and having met a few weirdos in my time, i have a pretty good intuition, which I used to dismiss but now have learnt to trust.

You must be very trusting of people, either that or you have never met any strange guys.

OP posts:
Pikelit · 23/12/2009 22:59

As a photographer myself, I find it kind of odd that he's travelled 30 miles out of his way at what I'd assume was his busiest time (I say this as Christmas print orders are still coming in here!).

It would have been a really splendid gesture to get these pictures to you before Christmas if you'd wanted them. But you didn't - in fact you were always expecting them to be posted out. So I do have suspicions. His behaviour just doesn't sound right.

SlartyBartFast · 23/12/2009 23:02

perhaps he was sussing out your other child to see if they were photogenic at all, or at least trying to make a sale

famishedass · 23/12/2009 23:05

Trust your instincts, that's why you've got them.

An in-built early warning system.

Having said that, he probably was just being helpful

llareggub · 23/12/2009 23:12

He was probably freezing cold and angling for a warm drink and a mince pie.

SlartyBartFast · 23/12/2009 23:13

he could have been angling for a cup of tea?

fledtoscotland · 23/12/2009 23:14

YANBU. instincts are there for a reason. he may not be a paedophile - just a burgler (for example - am not saying he is though)

famishedass · 23/12/2009 23:17

"he may not be a paedophile - just a burgler"

Or a serial killer perhaps

fledtoscotland · 23/12/2009 23:24

only thinking about this time of year famishedass. If OP is concerned, she should trust her instinct. what i mean is that OP said she felt uneasy but replies are jumping down the paedophile route.

famishedass · 23/12/2009 23:26

It's OK fledtoscotland. My first instinct would probably be burgler too

victoriascrumptious · 23/12/2009 23:30

creepy man

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