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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want DS's biggest present to come from Father Christmas

65 replies

fruitsticksinyourstocking · 22/12/2009 23:45

OK I realise I am over analysing things a little but here goes.

DS1 (3.5) really really wanted a quad bike for Christmas (one of those battery operated ride on ones). I didn't really think he should have one but FIL, who is the only grandparent, offered to buy him one.

We (well, I) have bought him an ELC keyboard and a few other small presents, socks, pants etc. which will all come from Father Christmas.

I assumed that FIL would do the whole - ooh I think FC left you something else in the garage when he arrive on Christmas Day but DH says no, it should come from him.

This really upsets me, irrationally so.

Do I mind because he is spoiling the whole magic of Father Christmas bringing what he really wants?

Or do I mind that he is buying him an expensive 'showy' present and we are not.

I don't know. But what say all of you? Have I lost all perspective?

OP posts:
nancy75 · 22/12/2009 23:46

3 year olds dont care who got them the present - they just remember the present.

misdee · 22/12/2009 23:47

only some of the presents come from father christams in this house.

GypsyMoth · 22/12/2009 23:47

i think he will be soo delightedwhen he sees the bike that he wont remember,or care,for one minute where/who it came from

which leaves the problem with you to get your head around!!

biglips · 22/12/2009 23:49

the biggest present is from FC here and the rest is from us.....it just make it feel real to get a biggest pressie from FC. (it doesnt to be the biggest though but at least of the pressies)

Original poster
fruitsticksinyourstocking · 22/12/2009 23:50

You are all right - obviously.

Glad I asked

I've spent the evening covering table mats in wrapping paper - I've lost all reason!

OP posts:
lucykate · 23/12/2009 00:45

in our house the big present always comes from us. father christmas provides one medium sized present and some stocking fillers. dh feels we work all year round to earn the money to pay for everything, we should get the credit. not sure i totally agree but i can see where he's coming from with it.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 23/12/2009 01:16

Stockings come from FC everythin else comes from people who gave.

AngryPixie · 23/12/2009 01:19

I'm with fivegomad It might be important as the dc get older to explain why they can't have the big/expensive present they've set their heart on one year. If they think FC can just magic it up....

So for us, stockings from FC and the other presents from the people who love them.

PS YABU

Alambil · 23/12/2009 01:54

none of DS's gifts come from FC. FC only wraps and delivers whatever anyone has bought for him.... he's still enthralled in the "magic" of it all

evensunnierdelight · 23/12/2009 07:37

YABU to expect your FIL to buy such a fab gift and then expect him to pretend it came from FC, the "magic" certainly isn't spoilt by knowing that your grandparents are really lovely generous people who give you cool presents.

I know everyone does it differently, we have always made sure the main present comes from us as I think doing otherwise can encourage unrealistic expectations and ultimately disappointment, but tbh I stopped buying a long time ago for friend's kids when the parents insisted that what I bought went into the FC pile. I would like a thank you (can be totally casual) or even better the chance to see the look of pleasure on a child's face when they open something I have carefully chosen just for them.

Seona1973 · 23/12/2009 08:57

The presents me and dh buy come from Santa but anything from family, friends, etc come from that person.

FlamingoCrimbo · 23/12/2009 09:15

You're mad, sorry!

I never understand this 'all presents must come from Father Christmas' gubbins.

Stocking presents are from Father Christmas, main presents are from the giver. How on earth does that spoil the magic of Father Christmas? All it does is teaches children that big, special presents are given by someone who loves them and don't materialise out of nowhere.

gorionine · 23/12/2009 09:20

When I was Little we were always told who the present were from, FC was just the one bringing them, this way, we coulsd actually say thank you for the gift to the person who had actuaslly gone trough the trouble of finding something we would like and payed for it!

It was still magic as to this day, I still do not know how my parents got all these gift in the house without any of us noticing!

gorionine · 23/12/2009 09:21

Sorry for typos,I have no excuse!

verytellytubby · 23/12/2009 09:22

Mine only get stockings with small bits and pieces from FC.

All other presents come from whoever bought them. It's a very generous gift from your FIL so I can imagine he wants to see the joy in your son's face. You've lost perspective!

SantaWears2SnowShoes · 23/12/2009 09:25

good grief
your fil buys your ds a lovely present and you want a made up character to take the credit........
ott

Watchtheworldcomealivetonight · 23/12/2009 09:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pagwatch · 23/12/2009 09:29

"I've spent the evening covering table mats in wrapping paper - I've lost all reason!"

ROFL at that.
Yes girl. Get a glass of something warming and repeat, it is just one day and all will be fine until you start to believe it

pagwatch · 23/12/2009 09:30

FWIW I never understand the whole - everything comes from Santa - approach. I like my children to have a bit of magic magic and a bit of love from me with kisses for thank yous

loubielou31 · 23/12/2009 09:31

YABU I have to agree with the majority of the posts on here. Children will be delighted no matter who the gifts are from. In fact my dd biggest present by far is a wendy house that my parents have made for her and I think it's important that she knows that, and appreciates the hard work involved.

LeoniedElf · 23/12/2009 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

edam · 23/12/2009 09:34

Yup, you are over-analysing. You can't assume that the family you married into do things your way. Everyone has their own Christmas traditions. And it won't spoil the magic at all. My mother has bought ds the biggest present he wanted from FC so I've primed him, explaining that FC checks ds's list with all the people who love him (ds) to avoid mix-ups.

Actually dh has bought ds the other big present and I think that will come from us. FC will bring everything else.

MUTTletoe · 23/12/2009 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlamingoCrimbo · 23/12/2009 09:40

It's not about credit, though Mutt, it's about the fact that when you give someone a present that you've put thought into, you are using a long standing (albeit rather materialistic!) way of expressing your love for them. It's not about 'I want them to be grateful to me' it's about 'I want to give them the present because I bought it out of love for them'.

And do you not think that it is a good idea to teach children to be grateful for presents?

'as long as kids get their wishes'????

Clearly I am a mad fecker!

Oblomov · 23/12/2009 09:42

I want my ds's big presents to come from me. and dh. why should santa get the credit for them.

I voiced this at work the other day and everyone was horrified.

Obs they said, thats terrible.
Dh thought it was too.

Oh well.

I 'm with your fil here.
Ha ha.
Shame on me. I don't care.
I work really hard. for the money.
santa buys him a a £2.89 spud gun, which I bet he will LOVE.
I buy the ds, the bike, the big thing.

Go on flame me.