to want DS's biggest present to come from Father Christmas

[fruitsticksinyourstocking]

OK I realise I am over analysing things a little but here goes.

DS1 (3.5) really really wanted a quad bike for Christmas (one of those battery operated ride on ones). I didn't really think he should have one but FIL, who is the only grandparent, offered to buy him one.

We (well, I) have bought him an ELC keyboard and a few other small presents, socks, pants etc. which will all come from Father Christmas.

I assumed that FIL would do the whole - ooh I think FC left you something else in the garage when he arrive on Christmas Day but DH says no, it should come from him.

This really upsets me, irrationally so.

Do I mind because he is spoiling the whole magic of Father Christmas bringing what he really wants?

Or do I mind that he is buying him an expensive 'showy' present and we are not.

I don't know. But what say all of you? Have I lost all perspective?

But Mazzy these people will buy presents for the children for their birthdays and other occasions. FC only lasts a few years and it is such a magic thing. After that it's back to normal boring presents are bought in shops type of life. And anyway once you have discovered the truth about FC you realise and appreciated all that your family and friends have done for you.
I am not from this coutry anyway so we do not do stockings. We only do presents from FC under the tree. The stockings are for The 6th of January the Epiphany when another mythical construct brings sweets in the stocking to those who have been good.

I am not criticizing as I can see the very good reasons for doing it your way, but there are very good reasons to do it my way I think.

Having said that I find it quite sad that you all want your young children to know exactly how much effort you put into getting the presents. This is for later for when FC is no longer. Why do they need to know at 3 or 4 how many hours you spent on ebay or how many miles of shopping centre you walked.

All I care is to see their smiles and for them to be happy, same for dh and his family luckily.

My eldest is 3.5 and so far we have told him for everything he needs to ask Santa. He's only going to believe in Santa for a few precious years, and then he will probably spill the beans to the other dc so while I can, and they will believe it, a magical man who spends all year making their presents will drop them down the chimmney and we will exclaim "looks what santas bought you". That said I know ds and dh and I will both get thank you's for the gifts so who am I fooling!!!!

Why do people need the child to know that they are so lovely for buying them a big lavish present? I'd say it was from Santa and make it extra magical for the DC. Xmas is for children and the magic of it all is lovely, why ruin it? Everything's from Santa in this house.

FC is still magic when he brings a new toothbrush and some finger paints & playdough. Or even just sweets.

Each to their own and all that, but I think the giver (rather than the parent) should make this decision. All this inflexibility is barking imo. If someone racked up here saying here's some stuff from Santa for the kids I'd be fine with it, even though it's not what we do.

And I'm less concerned about people being thanked than about how the person getting the gift feels. In years to come the OP's son could remember his grandad giving him something wonderful, or remember he got given something from FC in whom he no longer believes.

I think when parents have bought presents its up to them to decide whether it came from them or FC.But when the giver is someone else it is really rude not to say who it has come from.

So... for those who have the presents they have bought their children coming from FC (apart from the ones who tell their children they have given FC the money for the presents) and other family presents from family... what do you say to the children when they say "I got a present from Grandma, Aunty Sally and cousin John - why didn't you and Daddy buy me a present?"

We did the same as the majority on here - stocking from FC and a present under the tree from FC and the rest from us and family.

Pippi if all you care about is smiles and happiness then let the grandfather give his gift. The grandfather and his grand son will both be happy with this. I think your behaviour is overly controlling and unkind towards the grandfather, not really in keeping with the spirit of Christmas. If the grandfather decides he would prefer the gift to come from fc that is completely different.

Am not sure why you posted as you only seem open to vindication of your own pov

yabvu and not very kind. Relationships with grandparents are very important, much more important than fc

Earthstar, Pippi is not the OP.

Fruitstick, your ds will love the quad bike, have a lovely Christmas

There's no totally right or wrong way to do the Santa thing. FC did stockings only in our house because I didn't want that thing where YOU say 'no you can't have a Tinkety-tonk I'm afraid' (say there are none to be had, Tinkety-tonks are unsuitable, or they cost 2 million quid) and DC says 'then I will ask FC, as he is magic and I have been a very good DC' and you risk a bewildered face on Xmas morning.

HOWever, whatever you do DCs will believe and cope, no matter how illogical it all is. They won't notice a few glossed-over discrepancies in the story - or when they do it's probably because they're close to working it all out, all good and right in the great scheme of things. My DDs had FC deliver stockings only, some of their friends had FC deliver the Big Presents, some had him bring all of the presents. They all survived these differing accounts with magic and wonder intact, and so will all DCs.

If we get too entrenched about how it all happens it's more about making US happy and fitting in with OUR traditions. (Mind you I do a bit of this myself - my DDs, grown-up, still have to suffer a 'letter from FC' scrawled on loopaper gossamer tucked in their stockings every year because I could never bear to not do it for the first time

if i have only one piece of advice....stocking presents from fc- everything else from whoever buys it.

this saves you going mad trying to find the present that is out of stock each year ( they are out of stock - pick something else) or in difficult financial times ( we cant afford that this year, wait till your birthday).

life gets complicated else. and be grateful that you PIL want to splash the cash on something he really wants.

I agree with apples. As a child, I found FC did subtly different things each year to take account of whichever cousins we were staying with. And I survived, and don't remember it ever spoiling the magic...

I have told DS (3.5) that Father Christmas wraps and delivers the presents, but that they are from the giver. Not only to pre-empt things being out of stock / out of our budget, but also to make sure he expresses the proper thanks to the giver!

It is v. generous of your FIL and I'm sure your DS will love the present so much, he won't much mind who it is from!!

Earthstar relax it's Xmas !

Each to their own I say as long as we are all happy. As I have got no qualms or problems about the way we do it and as my relationship with both set of GPs is fantastic I didn't need to post the OP. But I thought I give everybody their piece of my mind.