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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why parents give their children food in supermarkets when it is not yet paid for?

535 replies

purplepeony · 21/12/2009 18:50

Do you?

is your child so hungry that you have to grab a frnech stick, break bits off and feed it to them then present the empty packet at the checkout?

Are mums so disorganised that they cannot feed teir child before they shop?

Are they keen to feed (ha!) the "I want it now" mentality?

It really annoys me when I see this going on, asit means kids grow up not being able to wait one second from asking to being given.

OP posts:
SantieMaggie · 21/12/2009 20:46

Oh sorry

shonaspurtle · 21/12/2009 20:48

I'm happy to admit that it's entirely about distraction and nothing whatsoever to do with hunger. Just giving ds something to do with his hands.

Tbh, he's never asked for anything but has never been one to turn down a wee something to take his mind off being bored out of his mind in Tesco.

Your children are obviously considerable better brunged up than mine.

nancy75 · 21/12/2009 20:48

if, when my dd was small, she moaned while i was doing the shopping i would give her bit of french bread or whatever, simply to stop the judgementalwindbags people that start thread like this from moaning about her/me. i always paid for the food.

Paolosgirl · 21/12/2009 20:48

It's OK!

KiwiKat · 21/12/2009 20:49

We pay for it, unlike many adults I've seen freely helping themselves to tubs of sweets etc. Get over it.

Flightattendant · 21/12/2009 20:49

Sometimes small children don't recognise hunger, it would seem. They know something is not quite right but can't explain it, don't know what they need - they just feel rough, blood sugar dips, everything seems awful. So they scream or get stroppy or something.

As soona s you hand them a high calorie snack they are alright again.

We as adults can usually manage for a bit as we are more aware of our hunger signals and know how to prepare for them, or stop them getitng t the point where we are about to faint. But a tiny chid hasn't the capacity to do that.

So...they get stroppy.

I don't condone adults doing this though, not unless there is a physical need rather than simply a desire to eat.
It would piss me off a bit to see a grown up doing it - just seems rude tbh. Toddlers can't wait. We can.

TabithaTwitchet · 21/12/2009 20:50

My mum used to do it for us, we used to have croissants from the bakery counter.
I don't have a problem with it - although on the two occasions DD has demanded a drink in the supermarket, and I had forgotten to bring one, I actually just went (with a half full trolley) to the cigarette and lottery counter and just paid for the carton of juice there, then carried on with the rest of the shopping. I suppose I did want to show DD that it needed to be paid for first (not sure she really registered it, she was too busy shrieking "juice" at the top of her voice.

SantieMaggie · 21/12/2009 20:50

shopping was different 20 years ago though wasn't it? we went to a bakery, and a greengrocers, and a butchers etc instead of one big supermarket. i used to get bought a cake at the bakery to eat when i got home or sweets in the newsagents.

i'm worried now what its going to be like when i have my own kids - so far i haven't had much problem shopping with DNs and i do it every week!

Oblomov · 21/12/2009 20:50

But why. just why. why does this bother you ?

golgi · 21/12/2009 20:52

SantieMaggie I was just about to post the same thing - there were no supermarkets when I was little.

No French sticks either, probably.

Or snacks - my mum was / is a believer in 3 meals a day and nothing else.

SantieMaggie · 21/12/2009 20:52

doesn't bother me - just wouldn't do it myself

peppapighastakenovermylife · 21/12/2009 20:52

Ha ha ha - this has really cheered me up . Obviously if one visits a high security unit at a prison the vast majority will have been allowed to eat grapes whilst in the trolley as a toddler...

SantieMaggie · 21/12/2009 20:54

yeah and the only time we were allowed to eat whilst walking was chips on the way home from swimming lessons.... yummy...

SantieMaggie · 21/12/2009 20:55

now what does bother me is people leavng dirty tissues in the trolley!

LaaDeDa · 21/12/2009 20:55

thedogsgottogo - I absolutely agree with that ^
I bet the same people disapproving of the children eating some not yet paid for food would also be tutting at all the norty tantrumming toddlers who are BORED going round a BORING supermarket.

Shopping with my 20 month ds goes one of two ways -

He doesn't want to go in the trolley (and can climb out, even with the lap strap done up)

He will ride in the main part of the trolley (oooooh get that disapproving people - i bet that makes you tut too!) but i obviously can't fit the food in then and he squishes it and sits on it so that's not really a goer.

I could let him walk round. Only he doesn't walk, he runs around. In people's way (he's 20 months you see and doesn't have any comprehension of being in someone's way so therefore doesn't care). Often the opposite way to which i'm going. And takes what he likes off the shelves.

So he goes back in the trolley - and now he's cross! And screeching and possibly crying. And if the trolley is close to the shelves he reaches for stuff and if he is left in the middle of the aisle he will block your way.

So, instead of all that, he is given some small food stuff and sometimes a drink to ensure he sits quietly and safely in the trolley and that we can actually eat at home as i've been able to do some shopping.

I know which way i prefer!

And don't judge me by your standards (can't remember who said it) as i always put the wrappers onto the conveyor belt and they never 'find their way into my pocket'.

RainRainGoAway · 21/12/2009 20:58

Clenchedbottom.
Yep.
Part of the routine. It keeps him happy, They have lovely gingerbread men at the counter and every monday we ask the ladies at the bakery counter for it and tell them he is going to eat it immediately. They always coo and fuss over him. Its now our tradition. (although sometimes its a goodie bar)
So clap me in irons and send me to Dartmoor!

RockBird · 21/12/2009 20:59

I really can't be arsed with this but all you lot who keep harping on about restaurants are missing the point. The order of things in the restaurant is different, it is a different set up. The two cannot be compared. A supermarket works on the basis that you pay for the goods first, a restaurant doesn't. Unless you're talking about a self service type thing. In which case, would you queue up for your food, go and eat it then go back to the to to pay? If not why not? You are obviously calling the shots about when it suits you to pay. You don't own the food until you've paid for it in a supermarket, it's as simple as that. Take food with you if you want to feed your kids or take from the shelves. I don't give a toss either way but don't kid yourselves it's the correct thing to do.

ilovesprouts · 21/12/2009 20:59

dare i say i give my ds2 a bottle of fruit shoot from a 4 pk fruit shoot!!

oricella · 21/12/2009 21:03

Do that all the time - it's become a tradition that DD picks the baguette and gets to munch on the top bit (no way she'd get through a whole stick!) Much prefer that to having to battle over every piece of expensive junk that the supermarkets cunningly places at toddlers eye level. I've considered suing Tesco for causing distress by creating an endless trail of crap snacks in copious amounts of packaging that my kids will not ever be getting
So YANBU to wonder why people do it, but YABU to judge me for giving DD a bit of bread & YA even more U to assume that I will go on to raise 'I want it now' children

2kidzandi · 21/12/2009 21:03

No bellsandsmells my DC do not 'demand' anything. They certainly would not receive. They ask. And sometimes the answer is no. I judge how thristy they are etc.

Admittedly, I do not ascertain whether to give my children something to quench their thirst or eat by the bench mark of how close to literally starving/dying of thirst they are. But I don't do that with myself either. Although I do remind them about the starving when they refuse to finish their food so does that count?

However, you're quite right that I was slightly precious when I said they were completely devoid of brattiness. They are certainly not angels. They're well fed little hell demons, which of course explains the constant thirst

Paolosgirl · 21/12/2009 21:03

My mum got a row from a shop assistant for giving me something from the shelf to shut me up - 38 years ago!

It's obviously an issue which has been dividing the nation for years. I am happy to report that I have grown up unsullied by the experience, am currently holding down a responsible job, have 3 well(ish) balanced children of my own, and the bank even gave me a mortgage.

Panic not ladies, for there is hope for your trolley bound, grape eating offspring.

ClenchedBottom · 21/12/2009 21:06

RainRain - sorry if I seemed to pick you out a little there! And can I point out that I'm not in a gibbering heap of indignation at your routine, it's just that quite a few people seemed to be justifying the practice by saying that their DC were genuinely suddenly hungry/thirsty, that's all.

Your choice, fine. Just not my choice - also fine.

ZZZenAgain · 21/12/2009 21:08

have never seen anyone do this

blithedance · 21/12/2009 21:11

Well in the past I have gone into the supermarket, immediately bought a snack at the kiosk, and then let the DC's eat it while I trolleyed round doing the main shop. What is to stop people doing that? Then you aren't consuming what you haven't paid for.

Unfortunately on that occasion fresh pineapple and trolley travelling were a bad combination and DS was actually sick in one of the aisles

RainRainGoAway · 21/12/2009 21:14

I guess I never analysed it before ClenchedBottom (love the name!)
It just always seemed like a nice thing to do for him whilst we wander about. Its not even like he begs for it. I think I may feel a bit more naughty about doing it in future!