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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have text dh saying...

70 replies

ihatetinselbob · 20/12/2009 09:45

Dh and dc's in the kitchen with me this morning. Dh is usually at work when they have their breakfast. Dc's want to open their advent calendars.
DH says 'no, not until after your breakfast'.
I said 'they usually have them while I'm getting breakfast.'
DH says'not today, Daddy's here so it's Daddy's rules'.
I say 'you can't just change the way we do things just because you're here'.
Dh says 'my rules and my rules over-ride all other rules'.
I ignored this as I didn't want to kill him infront of the dc's.
He's flounced back off to bed for a lie in and I just sent him a text saying 'please don't do that again, you're rules are not more important than mine and I don't want dc's thinking that they are'.
I'm so with him.
AIBU?

OP posts:
ChloeHandbag · 20/12/2009 09:47

YANBU

agalchchangedhername · 20/12/2009 09:48

God i'd have slapped him. YANBU

MrsMorgan · 20/12/2009 09:48

I think, does it really matter tbh.

Not being rude, but that is what I thought when I read it.

SleighBelleDameSansMerci · 20/12/2009 09:48

YANBU as parents surely should show a consistent approach and not over-ride each other. That said, bit odd sending a text to someone in the same house!

msrisotto · 20/12/2009 09:48

YANBU Who does he think he is?? Power trip much?

Plumm · 20/12/2009 09:49

YANBU! How dare he 1) change the way you do things because he's there, 2) tell your DC's that his rules are more important than his.

Give me his mobile number and I'll text him with exactly what I think!

Plumm · 20/12/2009 09:49

should have said his rules are more important than yours

screamingskull · 20/12/2009 09:49

you know you are NBU and totally agree with you to be annoyed.

I would just ignore it as you have now sent him the text telling him how you feel.

However if it was to happen again I think you may have to address it further.

123andaway · 20/12/2009 09:49

I too would have slapped him! I think you have been very restrained and not UR at all!!

Honeypeckle · 20/12/2009 09:50

I think you were being reserved by sending him a text. I would've gone up and shoved the advent calendar up his arse!

pooter · 20/12/2009 09:55

ooh, i would be fuming. That's so disrespectful to you - and sends out completely the wrong message to your kids about equality. Furious on your behalf.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 20/12/2009 10:01

DO you always communicate with your husband via text??

However, it was a knobby thing to say, and in front of the children as well!

everylittlebeat · 20/12/2009 10:06

When he said "no, not until after your breakfast", you were BU to over-rule him in front of the DCs.

When he replied how he did, we was definitely BU.

But when you texted him, you were BU.

I don't think either of you come out of it well tbh!

MegSophandEmma · 20/12/2009 10:07

FGS does the man think we're still living in the fifties

YANBU

PrincessToadstool · 20/12/2009 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twopeople · 20/12/2009 10:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
ihatetinselbob · 20/12/2009 10:22

Thank you for the replies, some have really made me smile.
To be honest, I would have gone with him on the 'not before breakfast' bit, if he hadn't come out with the other bit.
I wouldn't have usually texted him, but I didn't want an arguement in front of dc's.
He's never said anything like this before, so I'm wondering where it came from.

OP posts:
Brunettelady · 20/12/2009 10:24

YANBU, how dare he say that his rules are more important! It totally undermines you in front of your children. Luckily my DH does agree with me with rules and stuff, especially when we are the ones who are with our DCs (if you are a SAHM) during the week. Why should they come and change things just because 'the man is home'. I'm very pissed off on your behalf and you said the right thing in your text.

amialoneinthisone · 20/12/2009 10:24

Princess T, what has gone into you lately? You've taken over from Expat in the straight talking stakes!

MarioandLuigi · 20/12/2009 10:26

MrsMorgan - of course it matters, how can you say it doesnt?

YANBU - I would be really cross too, to undermine you infront of the DC's is out of order IMOm especially if you are the one that is there a big proportion of the time.

I hope he apologises!

MrsMorgan · 20/12/2009 10:28

I meant it in a 'if that is all you have got to worry about' way, then lucky you.

Yes your dh was being unreasonable to make out that it his his way or no way, but I can't believe you were arguing over it in the first place.

MrsMorgan · 20/12/2009 10:29

I think alot of you are completely over reacting tbh.

littleboyblue · 20/12/2009 10:29

YANBU at all. That is shocking! My dp tries stuff like that sometimes, not too often now though as I tell him to F right off.

Don't know what your dh's problem is really, 1 chocolate isn't going to make much difference to breakfast.

How do the men think we manage day in day out without them?

Original poster
ihatetinselbob · 20/12/2009 10:30

Yes I do the majority of the child care, not a sahm now, but have been for the past year.

OP posts:
MarioandLuigi · 20/12/2009 10:30

Over reacting

If all the OP has to worry about is her DH trying to teach her DC's that he is more important than she is then thats alot to worry about surely!