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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think being able to drive is KEY skill for a woman ( particularly)

542 replies

FolornHope · 17/12/2009 08:49

or not

OP posts:
MrsMattie · 17/12/2009 09:58

I've had thousands of pounds worth of lessons and failed failed failed. I agree it's key life skill, but it's a key life skill I'm going to have pass up on until I can summon the energy, time and money to have yet another go at cracking.

SuperflousBuns · 17/12/2009 10:00

I never learned to drive as lived in a city with buses on my doorstep every 3 mins,now i live in the back end of sticksville and really wish I had done,because now I cant afford to learn

nickelbabyjesus · 17/12/2009 10:03

i think it's a key life skill.

i never thought so when i was younger (lived in a city with extremely good public transport): but iwas asked to run errands by my boss when i started work but couldn't do it because i couldn't drive. (fetching and carrying bulky stuff)
when i left university i learned how to drive, but didn't have my own car. i was able to borrow my dad's from tiem to time, and as my job was 2 busses away (and nearly an hour and a half) i really appreciated it when i had the car and could get there in half that time. (especially on cold winter mornings when i didn't have to stand at the busstop).
then i moved down here and ended up living in the middle of nowhere (cheap rent) and even having a job 3 miles from my house was annoying : no busses at the right time of day and i could cycle but it was all up and down steep hills (and countryside roads are bloody dangerous if you're a cyclist/pedestrian). i was so grateful that i knew how to drive because i could buy myself a cheap little car and be fully independent (and i did end up going all over the blimming place in that thing).
i could give lifts to old ladies to church and WI events, i could visit people, i could get a job anywhere, i could fetch and carry etc etc.
now i've moved back into town, and sold my car (because it needed a new gear box) and i don't need a car for day-to-day stuff, but it's still very useful to borrow OH's car when i need to look after the chickens, or deliver books to schools, or to visit friends in the countryside.

it's definitely a key life skill.

sarah293 · 17/12/2009 10:05

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MitchyInge · 17/12/2009 10:06

goodness, had forgotten about how slow public transport is

if I want to visit friend in village 8 miles from here I could do it twice a week, via a minibus, and journey takes an hour and have to come home in 2 hours or wait until the end of the week!

can drive to LONDON in that time

PrincessToadstool · 17/12/2009 10:14

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sarah293 · 17/12/2009 10:18

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edam · 17/12/2009 10:20

@ princess toadstool. Don't suppose you want to pose as me for the purposes of the test...?

nickelbabyjesus · 17/12/2009 10:25

we had this problem, Riven: the post bus got stopped because RM decided that "profit" was more important than being a service to the community.
it meant that a bunch of old people living between 3 and 7 miles out of town had effectively been told they weren't allowed to socialize or even do their shopping and banking.
apparently not enough people used it to make it viable.
try telling that to the old dears who were left stranded in the middle of nowhere.

luckily our local councillor got the villages a minbus. it only runs 3 days instead of 6, but it provides those oldies with a lifeline.

PrincessToadstool · 17/12/2009 10:26

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shootRudolphinthehip · 17/12/2009 10:29

I passed my test 6 weeks ago (am 31) and I know that I should have done it before. I live 12miles away from the nearest 'town' and have struggled living in the middle of nowhere with 2 small children. Our public transport situation is crap too.

I am now at the stage where I want to go back to work and I simply could not get a job in my line of work locally, never mind get 2 kids to a childminder and then get public transport to the towncentre and then another bus to school (am a teacher). I simply had to learn to drive. I spent thousands of pounds (that I couldn't afford) learning and it has changed my life (love the freedom but hate the fact that I now have to do everything that DH used to do).

What is fabulous about it is not having to traipse everywhere in the freezing, pissing rain and leave for appointments 2 hrs before I am due to be there. Now I jump in the car and off I pop.

I too was in a serious accident before my 17th birthday and was almost phobic about cars. I wasn't brave enough to tackle it until my frustration at being stuck in the arse-crack-of-nowhere out-weighed my fear. TBH I feel that learning to drive has been one of the greatest achievements of my life as I am not a 'natural' driver and was so terrified. Passing was the best feeling I've had in years and now I do love being able to get stuff myself without having to harrass DH to get it.

But equally, I'm flipping horrified at how expensive it is to run a car and how much money I spend now that I'm out and about [broke emoticon]

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 17/12/2009 10:30

I'm just thinking of those that get ferried around in our parish MP that's all. Those that get lifts to church/hospital/doctors are the ones who wouldn't be able to drive now even if they had previously had a licence.

shoptilidrop · 17/12/2009 10:34

I think it def is.
i brought my first car when i was 16 and it sat on the driveway for a year.
I dont understand people who dont drive, it just seems to make everything more difficult.

cumbria81 · 17/12/2009 10:37

I didn't learn to drive until I was 25 (and even then it took 7 tests and 2 years to pass!).

I rarely drive now, walk everywhere and take public transport. BUT - it is such a useful skill to have that I agree YANBU when you say it's a key skill.

Now I can drive I have njoyed some lovely holidays camping in the middle of nowhere in the UK which would have been a lot more difficult without a car, and have gained a lot more freedom. Just because you CAN drive, it doesn't mean you HAVE to but it's nice to have the choice.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 17/12/2009 10:40

"it restricts your ability to get ot really fantastic remote places (esp. in scotland). "

no it doesn't - my DB has been all over the place in Scotland - really remote place - he can't drive either. He either buses/trains to "nearest" (hahaha) town and then cycles, or hikes (depending on his mood ).

I also travelled to even more remote places in Zimbabwe when I lived abroad - all under my own steam.

TheGoatofChristmasPast · 17/12/2009 10:42

ok, if you are determined you can get anywhere but i can't really imagine your average family merrily cycling to tayvalich or applecross.

gorionine · 17/12/2009 10:45

I do not drive, so far it has not made my life any more difficult than anyone else I know who does drive.

Bumblingbovine · 17/12/2009 10:46

tbh most of the jobs I have had would not have been possible without a car and even if they had (just!) my employers would not have been happy if I couldn't drive.

Itm is a key skill for a number of jobs - not just the delivery and "driving job". So yes I would say it is a key life skill. Not as important as reading and education generally but key in many jobs (not all I know)

dinoroar · 17/12/2009 10:47

I think it is a key skill. My DH lived on the edge of London as a child and never learnt to drive "because he didn't need to". However, he then wanted me to take him places in my car - sports stuff, supermarket shopping, visiting people, the list is endless. He even asked me to drive him somewhere when I was pregnant and very ill with hyperemesis - I could barely walk, let alone drive and he made a real fuss about it.

So, I taught him to drive myself and asked him for £4k and went and bought him a small car with it. Now he drives when he needs to and it is so much easier - he admits he was totally in the wrong relying on others all the time and loves the car I chose for him. It has left us with a residual difficulty - because he is a new driver, he is not confident (and neither am I TBH!) enough to take my 1yo and/or my 3yo anywhere without me ever. After giving birth both times, I had to be driven home from hospital by my mum.

It is a key skill for both sexes. OK, don't own a car if you don't want to. However, do consider getting a licence. My licence (and insurance) got us out of a sticky situation one night when we were younger - we had accepted a lift from a friend somewhere about 10 miles away one evening and he proceeded to get very pissed and then say he would be driving everyone home. As I hadn't had anything to drink, I was able to drive everyone home in his car. Even if we had said OK we will walk the 10 miles home in the freezing cold & dark, another friend (also drunk) would have got in the car with the would be drunk driver. This "drunk driver" was a responsible, very religious teenager and I did not expect this from him at all. But at least I had a licence and my own insurance and could solve the problem for everyone.

shootRudolphinthehip · 17/12/2009 10:49

TheGoat- we love Tayvallich, it's one of the most fabulous places in the world. I can't imagine my family (DH, DD 5 and DS 3) all cycling there either!

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 17/12/2009 10:53

well that's probably because the average family now thinks that a car is an essential and that you're severely limited if you don't have one.

But then I also think your "average" family in the UK wouldn't be setting off to tayvalich in the car either

Besides - you can get the coach to Lochgilphead (from Glasgow) and then it's only 11/12 miles to Tayvalich.

gladders · 17/12/2009 10:54

it's a key life skill and both of mine will start learning as soon as they are allowed.

i have 2 elderly aunts in rural Wales - neither ever drove as their husbands did. Both husbands died several years ago and Aunts are now very isolated - crappy bus services or expensive taxis.

also have friend with 5 year old twins who doesn't drive and relies on others a huge amount. She can get about fine - of course she can - but if there's an emergency in the middle of the night/ if it's peeing down at school pick up time / if she wants to go further afield to go shopping/ if she wants to go on a day trip then public transport doesn't cut the mustard. and that's in london.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 17/12/2009 10:55

"However, he then wanted me to take him places in my car - sports stuff, supermarket shopping, visiting people, the list is endless. He even asked me to drive him somewhere when I was pregnant and very ill with hyperemesis - I could barely walk, let alone drive and he made a real fuss about it."

I'd have told him to f*ck off. I don't expect my DH (when we had a car) to drive me places, I wouldn't want him to actually. So neither if I could drive would I be expecting to drive DH anywhere/everywhere.

TheGoatofChristmasPast · 17/12/2009 10:59

shootrudolf - it is gorgeous.

EldonAve · 17/12/2009 10:59

I think it's a key skill

I still need to get my motorbike licence then I will be sorted