if I accept this offer??

10 replies

hatesponge · 16/12/2009 23:08

I've recently been offered a promotion at work. However it would involve me being seconded to another office for 3 months from Jan onwards.

The other office is approx 250 miles from where I currently live. I would be there Mon pm-Fri am, & put up in the company flat during the week. Fri afternoon I would be able to come home until Monday morning, and all my travel will be paid as well. I will also be getting a pay rise of about 15%.

At the moment my DC live with me sun-fri, and go to their dads at weekends, although he also sees them for a couple of hours every evening during the week. We would have to reverse that arrangement for this to work, so clearly I cant do it unless Ex agrees in any event.

However if he does agree AIBU if I go? Or even for wanting to?

OP posts:

MavisEnderby · 16/12/2009 23:10

If you feel you want to progress in your career and it is important to you and you could cope without seeing dcs Mon-Fri and ex is amenable go for it

GirlWiththeMouseyHair · 16/12/2009 23:11

i agree

YANBU

Fruitysunshine · 16/12/2009 23:13

You are both his parents and should work together. If you want to do this and your ex will agree to a new arrangement then go for it!

karen2205 · 16/12/2009 23:15

No, not at all unreasonable. It's only for three months and in context that seems a reasonable trade off. A pay rise is good in long term for you and your kids. Perhaps more importantly, you getting to further your career is good for you and in that sense is good for your children too - if you're progressing in your career, you're likely to be happier/more content, which will have a positive effect on your kids. And you get to teach an important lesson about how we sometimes have to do things we don't want to do, in order to get things that are even more important.

SpookyChev121 · 16/12/2009 23:22

tough call. I think you will miss you dc alot but at the same time it is only for 3 months and then im guessing things would be back to normal.
If you can get the assurance thta this is the case and you exp is happy then i say go for it.

ReindeerRusso · 16/12/2009 23:30

YANBU, go for it.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 17/12/2009 08:27

YANBU. I'd be in there like a shot.

diddl · 17/12/2009 08:30

If your ex won´t help could anyone else?

YANBU.
3 months isn´t that long & you will see them every weekend.

porcamiseria · 17/12/2009 08:54

YANBU, 3 months is not that long (tho it will probably be quite hard for you) but if it results in promotion , extra ££££ you are ultimately doing the best for you and your kids.

racmac · 17/12/2009 09:06

How is your relationship with ex?

Is there a chance at end of 3 months he will turn around and say actually i like this arranagement the way it is and Im going to keep it like this.

A court would probably leave the children with him in that arrangement whilst they decided upon it at a full hearing months down the line. Then as the kids had been in that arrangment for a long time the Court would order it to stay like that.

Great opportunity though

Flip