Ok the title is a little out-there so people will be itching to flame me, but get this..
DS is 1. MIL has been told since I was pregnant with him that she is not to smoke around him at all under any circumstances.
You will probably have read about her already- she is a MIL from hell.
When he was a couple of weeks old, we took him round on a sunny day and she wanted him to sit out the back in his buggy. I was feeling slightly twitchy as I knew what would happen, and low and behold, she lit up. 'It's ok, we're outside' she said, inches from my new born and puffing smoke all over.
Smoking is bad for children but I also HATE smoking. It has given my grandad cancer, killed my nana, it is unnecessary and stinky. DH smokes the sly one at work and he knows I can't stick it, but he always changes when he gets in from work so that it is not in the fibres of his clothes when he picks up DS (this is out of habit at this point as we were told this was important when DS was young and has apnoea/chest infections, etc. DH has carried it on which is fine with me).
I am pregnant again and the smell makes me physically sick.
MIL has 3 hours with DS on a Wednesday. She has picked this day and gets angry if we cancel for any reason (although it's fine for her to cancel when she so wishes). She wants him on her own specifically (well with her DH) so we can't be there. The past few times, DS has come home smelling extra smokey. SIL let slip that she sometimes holds him in the kitchen doorway whilst they smoke in the kitchen. I made it clear this was not ok as smoke doesn't go 'oh a baby, I'll steer clear and go over here by the open window'.
Today he has come home after 3 hours literally smelling like he has been chain smoking. Cue me puking after one cuddle as heavily pregnant and just can't help it. DH then sniffed him to see what the fuss was over and actully agreed when I could clearly see he desperately wanted me to be wrong/overreacting.
He's 1 for God's sake. She's been going on about how she wants us to take him round more, etc. I can't see how she can be allowed to mind him when she purposely goes against the one wish we have.
I let it go when she fed him 3 packs of crisps and half a packet of biscuits, etc as I thought I should pick my battles (even though she had been told he wasn't to eat masses of junk food as it's not good for him, he's none the wiser as to whether it's a treat or not and he can't poo!!).
But I feel this is a battle to fight. Particularly when we have another baby on the way. She used to kick off if we wouldn't let her have DS overnight when he was a few weeks/months old but he would just come back stinking. She's going to expect the new one to stay overnight too and she has been pushing the smoking boundaries more and more so she will think she can smoke around the new one.
She can't smoke around either. Why the hell would people smoke around babies?
What can I do about this?