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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that my friend has some far out views on potty training

54 replies

girlafraid · 16/12/2009 14:08

Her DS has started school and is still in nappies. The school have made some suggestions about getting him trained, cue outrage and comment that "new research" suggest nappies are fine up until 7.

Am I being ridiculously old school or is she in fact MAD???

OP posts:
bumpybecky · 16/12/2009 14:11

she is a loon

why would anyone want their child to still be in nappies that late?

being in nappies AT NIGHT is one thing, but full time?!

assuming the child has no special needs of course

Jamieandhismagictorch · 16/12/2009 14:16

Your friend is making it up.

Or has confused potty training with learning to write. Which would be worrying.

ReindeerInaSkoda · 16/12/2009 14:17

Absolute nuts. Does her ds spend all day in the same wet/dirty nappy? Or does he change them himself? [hgrin]

Get her to send you a link to this "research", coz I'm sure we'd just love to read it!

Brunettelady · 16/12/2009 14:19

Surely she can't be serious!! Think of that poor child at school in nappies. The other children will have a field day. And who is suppose to change her son? The teachers? Can't see that happening somehow.

Fibilou · 16/12/2009 14:19

loon. bet her precious child will end up teased because of it

MrsMattie · 16/12/2009 14:19

Very odd. Does her son have special needs? I can't think of any other reason a school age child should still be in nappies.

ReindeerInaSkoda · 16/12/2009 14:19

Absolutely and .

meemar · 16/12/2009 14:20

surely she doesn't mean wears nappies to school because that would be madness unless he had some medical condition.

It is common though for children of school age to still be incontinent at night. Those drynite pull up things are made in sizes for children of about 6 or 7 years old.

alexpolismum · 16/12/2009 14:21

yes, she's totally potty

MadamDeathstare · 16/12/2009 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
girlafraid · 16/12/2009 14:25

He doesn't have SN, of course that would be very different

Actually they ARE pull ups rather than "baby" nappies, but he does wear them in the day

OP posts:
Jamieandhismagictorch · 16/12/2009 14:27

Does he poo in them ? The staff are not going to like that. my DS2 had a few accidents in his pants right at the beginning of nursery (he was nearly 4), and I did get a few cats bum mouths .....

Reallytired · 16/12/2009 14:30

There must be more to this than meets the eye. I find it impossible to believe that a four year old would willingly wear nappies.

I have a friend whose son had major problems getting clean by the age of five. He was refered to social services. (NOT child protection, but a disablity worker)

Maybe there is a medical condition that your friend does not want to discuss with you.

ReindeerInaSkoda · 16/12/2009 14:31

I suppose it's a bit different, seeing as they're pull-ups.

Do you think that maybe he has a lot of accidents (lots do), and she's made up the "research" story because she's ?

Original poster
girlafraid · 16/12/2009 14:32

Rtired you may be well be right and I actually feel a bit flippant having posted this now

I was when we spoke yesterday and thought she was being really batty about stuff (she is really batty) but it's not really my business

oh, i feel bad now!

OP posts:
Jamieandhismagictorch · 16/12/2009 14:32

Reallytired speaks sense. Maybe the child has a continence problem and the mum's embarrassed. Hope she's getting help if that's the case

wearthefoxhat · 16/12/2009 14:32

A teacher friend of mine was telling me that in her reception class, nearly every year there is a child that starts in nappies (or pull-ups) They generally have no special needs, and she's pinpointed the problem to being parents terrified of potty training their child, so they just leave it.
Is it really that scary?
I'd have thought the risk of a child being teased would be far scarier than actually potty training

Jamieandhismagictorch · 16/12/2009 14:33

Don't feel bad. We don't know her, you do. Maybe she is being batty, or maybe you could help if you think it's something more.

spicemonster · 16/12/2009 14:37

Reallytired - I know two sets of parents who have sent their children to school still in nappies. They both thought that their children would somehow potty train themselves with no intervention on their part and were very cross that the school insisted they take charge of the situation.

Neither one of them has special needs or a medical condition. Just parents who take laid back parenting to a new level ...

Jamieandhismagictorch · 16/12/2009 14:37

That's interesting wearthefoxhat.

Such a big deal is made out of potty training, though, so I can see why some parents worry. My two were over three by the time we did it because I was scared to push (I knew someone who did that too early and her son took AGES to get clean). In the event they were both clean and dry in a couple of weeks. I wouldn't leave it until school, though ...

choosyfloosy · 16/12/2009 14:44

I was petrified of potty training because I had no idea what you actually did. Had potty, had child, had nappies - then what? Learned all I needed here. Maybe you should suggest she tries here? Like the old 'your best friend won't tell you... B... O' adverts - lean in to her ear and whisper 'M.... N'

Any research suggesting you should use nappies until 7 has to have been funded by Pampers tbh.

Reallytired · 16/12/2009 14:47

There are worst things that happen to child than getting to age of four in nappies. It is hardly on a level with the child abuse suffered by baby P. Some children are late learning to speak, or walk or whatever. No one said I was a bad mother because my son needed professional help to learn how to walk.

It is not such a shock if an August born boy is still in nappies at the start of september. Provided the parents have made attempts to seek help, I doult there is no problem with their parenting.

My son trained easily at 3 years and 3 months. He was dry both day and night within a week.

However I have taken the opposite approach to this thread with my daughter. I have been sitting her on the potty every nappy change since the age of six months. She is eight months and we are getting quite good at catching poos. Its great as it has cured her nappy rash. Lets be honest, she is as incontinent as any other 8 month old. It will be interesting to see what age is is truely potty trained.

Bonsoir · 16/12/2009 14:49

She is mad, of course.

pippylongstockings · 16/12/2009 14:49

Gosh , and there I was panicing because my nearly 3 yo isn't potty trained dispite several attempts!

Clearly I have at least another 2 years to crack this!

gladders · 16/12/2009 15:00

think she's confused?

most urologists would not see nighttime incontinence as an issue until age 7. but that's night time - that's a whole different ball game.

daytime should be sorted by the time they start school - imagine the teasing.....

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