Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed with Dh who always says he is ill whenever I am?

91 replies

ilikeyoursleeves · 15/12/2009 17:01

I woke with a cold today and I turned round to DH and said 'my throat is killing me and I have a headache'. His reply was 'So have I!!!'

He seems fine and it just really annoys me because he always has to have whatever I have! And worse!

Bloody man flu. He is whistling away in the kitchen just now while I still have my headache after a full day with the 2 DS's.

OP posts:
shinyrobot · 16/12/2009 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DFH · 16/12/2009 14:19

Hi, a DH here, I would agree its done as a pre-emptive strike.

Why? I see 77 reasons prior to this message

Can someone suggest the ideal response please?

shinyrobot · 16/12/2009 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fruitsticksinyourstocking · 16/12/2009 14:23

My DH too. To be fair he does very it between 'so have I' or 'I know, you've given it me' or 'great, I suppose I'll get it now'

He refuses all drugs or painkillers with the exception of lemsip which he clutches with both hands.

He swears that bedrest and sleep are the best cures.

Don't we all darling

alypaly · 16/12/2009 21:03

hey motherbeyond,i can beat that...at least you Dh went with you to the ward.

I had a 12 hour labour which started about 7pm. He sat with me for a couple of hours,then curled up on the settee in the delivery suite.
Then the midwife came in and gave him a blanket and gave me some mags.
Next he nods off whilst my contractions were getting a bit closer...but not bothering me at the time. Midwife was away in the other room and i had a buzzer incase birth became imminent.
Anyway,next hes off with the fairies,snoring his head off(b).....wakes up at 5 am and says 'ooooh im really hungry'. WTF did he think i was after being on water for 10 hours. Anyway he nodded off after he was given tea and toast and i had to wake the bugger up to tell him his son was on his way. Delivered DS2 with legs akimbo in stirrups.He then had the audacity to say he was really tired and buggered off home leaving me in the stirrups. My water was out of reach and noone came to stitch me up for over an hour. Went to the delivery suite in a foul mood as all the other men were cooing over their wives and babies.
Needless to say we are not together now.

ilikeyoursleeves · 16/12/2009 22:06

alypaly!!!

OP posts:
alypaly · 16/12/2009 22:35

sorry meant the ward ...on my own.
When he came back all smiles in the evening ,i just sat there and growled at him. Tired my ass....he doesnt know what tired is...

MrsTittleMouse · 16/12/2009 22:52

This is a very interesting thread.

To be fair to him, DH has been run down recently, and he is very tired. But when our two DDs picked up a stomach bug and gave it to me, he had to have it too. Except that I didn't see any symptoms. His best quote was "you know, I could have been sick last night too, but I chose not to". Then told me that he'd only eaten a piece of toast all day - which concerned me, maybe he was sickening for it as well - until he added "and a couple of Twirls when DD1 wasn't looking. I really fancy fish and chips for dinner, do we have any?".

He's lovely too, and pulls his weight in with housework and the DDs, so I'm not even sure why he does it.

motherbeyond · 17/12/2009 08:12

oh my god aly paly...what a complete fucker!no wonder you're not together,that's inexcusable!

alypaly · 18/12/2009 09:28

would love to meet kind,none beer swilling considerate,thougthful,caring,loving,sharing,non smoker,....where are they all.....with a brain and a pulse

BigHairyLeggedReindeer · 18/12/2009 09:55

Alypaly, I've got one of them, except he smokes, and is a slight hyperchondriac but he's generally lovely.

Bought me fish and chips and massaged my shoulders for hours last night so he's in my good books.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 18/12/2009 09:57

My DH does this too.
I think its an automatic response, kind of like when you see someone in the street and they ask "how are you?" and you always say "Oh im good thanks" even if you're not!

Im currently 41 weeks pregnant and had awful sickness the other day, couldnt keep anything down not even water. So theres me dashing/hobbling to the loo every 10 minutes feeling like complete utter shit. DH says he has it aswell. Except, He isnt actually sick once, he just lies next to me on the bed (grr) and moans. Good job DS was easily distracted with DVD's of Land Before Time.

victoriascrumptious · 18/12/2009 10:08

Mine does this too! Drives me fecking bonkers!

zazen · 18/12/2009 10:31

I think they're pack animals you know, and fitting in is more important than actually being truthful.
They have to fit in to the pack, or risk exclusion (and death) and so all have to have the same illness at the same time, no deviation. It's just inbuilt.
In order to assert hierarchy, pecking order, they have to have it worse, in order to be 'better' than you... and that's just the way the pack animal is.

I think if you are ill, they need to hear that from a professional that you really are ill before that can really hear that you are.
It's like they need to see a sick note or something, and be told what to do that lets them be top animal in the pack.

TBfair to my DH, if he's poorly, he goes and lies down and takes a lemsip, and doesn't come asking me for one (anymore, the initial training, and role definition still holds pretty much): and I believe him if he says he's knackered. I remind him I'm not a doctor /his mum / matron and he has to look after his health himself; he's a grown up now.

He doesn't whinge very much at all, he never really did, but then he went to public (boarding) school, and I think that a stiff upper lip is de rigeur. Training for the Empire ya know

I was brought up like that too: Military family. I don't whinge either, and I don't go through my symptoms with him - he's not a doctor... if I have to lie down, I just say: 'There's X in the freezer for dinner, stick it in the oven, I have to lie down'. And he does. A well stocked freezer is a wonderful thing

I think we both think of Parenting as a Military Campaign, in un-reconnoitered territory, and we are under fire!!! So we haul ass, and watch each other's backs.

I actually find whinging really offputting... I think badly of someone who goes on and on and does nothing about it themselves. I wonder what they're waiting for? permission to grow up?!

alypaly · 18/12/2009 23:31

could do with the massage bighairy....lucky you.

ilikeyoursleeves · 20/12/2009 14:03

Well despite my cold now nearly gone, DH still has his despite him describing it as so:

'It's really weird, I feel like I have the flu but with no symptoms'

WTF!!!!!!!!?????

He has been moaning about this cold of his for days, yet he has gone to him mums just now to watch the football despite her avoiding people with illness as she is having an operation next week. When I pointed this out DH says 'But I'm not contagious'. If I remember correctly, the last time I had the flu I couldn't even lift a spoon to feed myself soup, never mind drive over to my mums to cheer on my team.

MEN!!!!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page