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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want a goat for Christmas?

90 replies

TheGoatOfChristmasPresent · 15/12/2009 13:37

I understand that people give these charity gifts with the best of intentions, However charity is a very personal thing and I don't think that it's right to decide on someone else's behalf what charity they should support.

So if people want to give to charities that is of course their perogative, but i'd rather they didn't do it in my name as I'd like to decide personally which charities I'd like to support.

OP posts:

MamaLazarou · 15/12/2009 13:40

Ok then.

TheBightyMoosh · 15/12/2009 13:41

But they're not telling you what charity to support, they are telling what charity they support - so YABU

OrmIrian · 15/12/2009 13:42

Goose is much better.

moondog · 15/12/2009 13:42

You have a point.
It is indeed a teeny bit ptronising.More noble would be for one to tell friends and relatives not to buy for oneself but direct them to charity of one's choice.

herbietea · 15/12/2009 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LilyBolero · 15/12/2009 13:45

I don't particularly like the 'goat' presents - because it is basically someone donating 'on your behalf' - they aren't spending more on your present than they would do, they are choosing to give your present away.

What I do instead is to buy fairtrade gifts for people, so they get a gift, and it benefits the people who made it.

Pikelit · 15/12/2009 13:46

What bothers me is actually getting a goat for Christmas. My mother (84 and lives in Ireland with a peat bog, 3 goats, many hens and too many cats) was sounding very "not herself" last time we spoke.

Tolalola · 15/12/2009 13:46

Sort of agree. I like www.kiva.org that lets you give a gift certificate for a microloan. The recipient of the certificate gets to choose which project they want to loan the value of the certificate to.

The best part is, it's a loan, not a donation, so when it gets paid back you can loan the money to another project.

GrimmaTheNome · 15/12/2009 13:49

YANBU. There are some charities which we'd never support (e.g. any which do good works alongside peddling religion) and I would be pretty if anyone gave to one of those in my name.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 15/12/2009 13:51

We got a loo last year from my IL's, and I am guessing from the envelope that they have done the same thing this year.

porcamiseria · 15/12/2009 13:51

before my dear granny died we had a party and both my Dad and Brother gave her charity "gifts" ie they donated to charity on her behalf, she was NOT amused bless her!!!! where my fucking present!!!!

Heqet · 15/12/2009 13:52

I thought you meant an actual goat was about to tell you that they are actually rather tasty, if a little chewy!

LadyBlaBlah · 15/12/2009 13:53

YANBU

What a crock

OtterInaSkoda · 15/12/2009 13:55

But surely you can't control where people buy physical presents from. Regardless of it coming from Amazon, the high street or some delightful artisan producer you're supporting them (and making a statement really), albeit in a small way.
I like goats.
So YABU.

cumbria81 · 15/12/2009 13:57

YANBU.

If you want to donate a goat to an African village, donate a goat to an African village. It's not really a substitute for a present.

saintnickelas · 15/12/2009 13:57

hmm.
it's a tricky subject that.
i have done it myself for relatives because ex's parents have got too much bloody stuff anyway, so we didn't want to give them even more crap.

one year we got ex's mum a year of schooling for a child, and she totally didn't understand the concept and seemed to be quite upset that she didn't get a real present (she's a teacher, so we thought it would be apt)

but last year, because we were avid chicken keepers, we bought both our sets of parents a coop and five chickens for a needy family, which seemed to go down rather better (although for some reason ex's mum still didn't understand and thought that she would physically get chickens to redistribute..
my mum and dad thought it was a great present.
we also got ex's uncle appropriate footwear for children (he sells shoes) and he thought it was brilliant.

Buddleja · 15/12/2009 14:00

Has someone got one for you? I got my dad an olive tree for Christmas once and he loved it, though I knew in advance that he'd love it as he's very charitable person. Wouldn't even think about getting same for my mother as she's materialistic - wouldn't be appriciated.

Unless all you get is charity gifts the I think YABU

ABetaDad · 15/12/2009 14:00

As a child I spent my formative years milking goats before and after school on my parents farm.

YANBU to want a goat as present. A goat is a job not a present even if the goat is actually donated to someone else for them to milk.

Good in a Jamaican curry however.

Swedington · 15/12/2009 14:00

I thought the whole point of such gifts was an act of passive aggression?

I am thinking of buying a label-mad consummate consumer relative (not on my side) a supply of water for a whole village from Oxfam. They say the pleasure of gifts is in the giving and it is certainly true in this case.

wearthefoxhat · 15/12/2009 14:04

I heard somewhere that donating a goat (or other animals) was a really bad idea, as they are making areas more susceptible to drought and famine, and therefore adding to the problem.
Can't remember where I heard it though

However, if anyone would like to send me a goat, that would be lovely, thankyou

amystev · 15/12/2009 14:06

My mum bought charity gifts instead of presents a couple of years ago, and I thought it was a brilliant idea. I kitted out a school with tables and chairs, my sister employed the teacher, my BIL supplied the books/pens/paper, my DP kitted out the kids with football kits and footballs, and my brother supplied enough food for all pupils to have one decent meal a day for a term. We were all really pleased with the present personally.

I can understand if you would prefer to choose your own charity, but if that's the case could you not let people know a couple of months before Christmas that you would prefer donations to your chosen charity rather than presents.

howdidthishappenthen · 15/12/2009 14:08

sounds better than half the presents I normally get. However, as I'm in a generally-feeling-hard-done-by-mood, I'm voting with a YABU. Completely at random you understand - no actual thought has gone into this. Hope you enjoy the goat.

Tolalola · 15/12/2009 14:08

Yeah i got the kiva thing for my 93 year old grandmother and she thought it was brilliant, but she's really into charities anyway, and the last thing she wants is more stuff, tbh.

I don't really like the idea of giving someone something from a specific charity unless you know for sure they're idealogically ok with it, though.

And obviously if they'd rather have an itunes voucher then it seems a bit mean to give them a chicken...

Madascheese · 15/12/2009 14:08

My sister did this once but in her typically thoughtful way she made the donation for the charity 'thing' and then also gave an appropriate present (so for education/build a school stuff she gave a nice pen for example)

As with the whole Christmas card thread I'm not overly impressed with it, nice marketing by the Charities concerned and great if that's what floats your boat - interesting when I sent people cards saying, For Christmas this year I have sent the entire present budget to WaterAid (small and non sexy charity who don't send you a picture of a goat/nun/latrine/mosquito net etc but are one of the organisations dedicated to bringing clean drinkable water to remote and inhospitable areas) people didn't find that quite so appealing....

Pikelit · 15/12/2009 14:08

If things go titsup in Co. Fermanagh before Christmas, consider yourself a goat owner, wearthefoxhat!

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