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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want a goat for Christmas?

90 replies

TheGoatOfChristmasPresent · 15/12/2009 13:37

I understand that people give these charity gifts with the best of intentions, However charity is a very personal thing and I don't think that it's right to decide on someone else's behalf what charity they should support.

So if people want to give to charities that is of course their perogative, but i'd rather they didn't do it in my name as I'd like to decide personally which charities I'd like to support.

OP posts:
Tolalola · 15/12/2009 14:12

oooh well, Pikelit if there's a goat going spare...I love them, little buggers that they are.

mrsshackleton · 15/12/2009 14:16

Obviously if you received only goats it wuld be rubbish. But would you really rather have some bath salts you don't like than see a poor family have a goat? YABVUU

And if you're talking goats, you're surely talking Oxfam, do you really have an ideological problem with their work?

Pikelit · 15/12/2009 14:18

I want it all. Bath salts, goats and, most usefully, a donkey. Because someone always makes an ass of themselves at Christmas.

Katz · 15/12/2009 14:23

i thought i'd found the perfect version of this a couple of years ago. It was a toy based one, you gave a doll to a child in the developing world (plus money for jabs too i think) and you also got a doll to keep to remind you of your donation. I thought that it would have been a lovely christmas present for my DD's however on closer investigation the 'doll' to keep was a very expensive porcelain doll and the doll given was a cheap rag doll. I had no problem with a giving away doll butt i wanted my DD's to have a doll they would play with daily knowing that they had given a the same thing to a child without and also the jabs. I did email the company asking them to re-think there scheme but was told no!

pranma · 15/12/2009 14:27

We give a charity gift as well as a pressie not instead-we put dgc as donors and tell them that they are helping poor children.We usually read the list and let them choose.Last year they all did 'backpacks for Malawi'the year before it was a mix of goats and toilets!This year they wanted to do the packs again-its Liberia this time.

Madascheese · 15/12/2009 19:25

Pranma - that's really lovely getting them involved. I think the problem is with imposing your ideology on others...

Pikelet - I laughed out loud at your reasons for wanting a donkey

Knownowt · 15/12/2009 19:29

YANBU. I think the whole idea of charity gifts is completely flawed- fine if the recipient asks for a charity gift but smugly inappropriate if they haven't. One can't be charitable on someone else's behalf- it's meaningless- so giving a charity gift just means they're donating to charity on their own behalf instead of giving something to you. That's fine but it's not a gift to you- pretending that it is (and therefore placing you under pressure to give something back) is a bit cheeky IMO.

MrsStig · 15/12/2009 19:31

Well, after reading the teachers gift threads on here, I decided to give my DC's teachers "School Supplies", so it doesn't matter if the are tea-total/ are diabetic, have sensitive skin/ are on a diet/ have poor taste/ sneer at gifts children give them, as I know it wont' end up in the bin/on freecycle/in a charity shop.

My sister gave me a loo a couple of years ago, and while I always thought the same as the OP, I was actually thrilled. I only found out last week they cost £50, and I was really touched. Far better than a hat,gloves,scarf set I'll never wear.

Discalimer: if my sister is reading this, I have worn the hat, gloves &scarf you gave me last year!

fufulina · 15/12/2009 19:48

YANBU - I hate this as well.

NotAnotherNewNappy · 15/12/2009 20:03

My sister bought me a midwife last year. I was a bit at the time, but in retrospect it was better than the shite she buys me most years. YABU, most xmas pressies are rubbish.

Petsville · 15/12/2009 20:17

YABU - my family agreed to give token presents and spent the money we would otherwise have spent on gifts on charity gifts, and it means we don't give each other rubbish that we don't really want and ends up in the charity shop. We use Good Gifts and it's usually possible to find something suitable for the recipient. My sister is passionate about tiger conservation and I don't think there's any present I could give her that would make her as happy as donating money to preserve tiger habitats in India.

Knownowt · 15/12/2009 20:20

But you've all chosen to do that, Petsville- I think having it imposed on you is another matter, especially if you get no say in the charity chosen.

Good column on the subject here www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/healthy-living/virginia-ironsidersquos-d ilemmas-my-daughter-is-unhappy-im-giving-money-to-charity-this-christmas-1839710.html

missymousie · 15/12/2009 20:32

It so depends on the person though

I told my mum I'd got her present already "Oh..." she said in a voice of doom but I know she is going to be utterly delighted with her trees and fed family on Christmas Day.

She is totally against having stuff and only ever likes the presents she gets from her sisters and friends - or her precious grandson has made or grew or chosen.

For me though I'd love a real life goat - though nowhere to put it (maybe a minigoat like a mini pig)- a paper goat would make me cry (and possibly have a tantrum)

expatinscotland · 15/12/2009 20:34

YANBU.

It's different if, as moony said, they said, 'What would your like for Chreistmas?' and you directed them to a charity.

SolidGoldpiginablanket · 15/12/2009 20:38

The whole point of these schems is so smug fuckos can insult and patronize family members they don't like. 'Charity' gifts are probably the most magnificent way of delivering a good smack in the face that was ever invented - what better way to say to someone 'You are a materialistic scumbag, I am much more ethical, compassionate and indeed fashionable than you. Happy fucking Christmas!'.

expatinscotland · 15/12/2009 20:42

Guilty as charge, Solid.

But a bit more basic from me: it's for all those to whom I'd like to say, 'Fuck you' but can't because they are family.

scottishmummy · 15/12/2009 21:01

charity gifts are smugaboo demonstrating their disposable income by buying you something you dont like or want

but heck,if you complain they will roll eyes as if you are ungrateful avaricious consumer

Knownowt · 15/12/2009 21:05

Bravo, solid.

wasabipeanut · 15/12/2009 21:14

Yeah I'm pretty much with Soild on this one. I'd be quite annoyed to recieve this - I would much rather someone hadn't bothered to be honest and that we had agreed to give cash to charity rather than buy stuff for the sake of it.

It's all very PA.

SolidGoldpiginablanket · 15/12/2009 21:14

Expat, hey I'm not knocking it as a way to annoy people. Ways to annoy people at Xmas are great .
ANd i'm not laughing much at the families who all agree to give each other charity gifts. I can just imagine the hilarity in their house as they sit round under the handknitted-out-of-toenail-fluff decorations, farting out the last of the nutroast...

expatinscotland · 15/12/2009 21:39

I feel that these charity gifts were created as a two-fingered salute to overtly grabby, materialistic fuckers.

The best one is fertiliser.

It's basically buying someone a sack of shit.

If they don't get the hint from that, well, then, they're thick as well as cuntwits.

expatinscotland · 15/12/2009 21:42

I always like to spend time and effort creating just the write message for the gift card to accompany this symbolic bird-flipping, too

'I just didn't know what to get you. Then saw this and immediately knew, it was just so you! Love and kisses, Expat'

wasabipeanut · 15/12/2009 21:43

Actually Expat you could argue (if you were so inclined) that they were invented to make "grabby, materialistic fuckers" feel better about themselves.

Or maybe we just all ran out of pointless crap to buy each other?

expatinscotland · 15/12/2009 21:44

Maybe so, wasabi, but at least someone in Africa benefits from it all .

scottishmummy · 15/12/2009 21:50

invited friend from work and new man for dinner.fuck me how he droned on and on like bonoer demanded to know if food was organic fair trade,ethically sourced,if any gerbils had been harmed.then bragged he was getting her a clapped oot ole refuge cat to sponsor eg she pays for tiddytumble in refuge

when he mentioned this,i saw his arse heading oot the window

he was slung pronto