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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want a goat for Christmas?

90 replies

TheGoatOfChristmasPresent · 15/12/2009 13:37

I understand that people give these charity gifts with the best of intentions, However charity is a very personal thing and I don't think that it's right to decide on someone else's behalf what charity they should support.

So if people want to give to charities that is of course their perogative, but i'd rather they didn't do it in my name as I'd like to decide personally which charities I'd like to support.

OP posts:

sausagerolemodel · 15/12/2009 23:25

yeah but to actually be offended when someone donates to a well-meaning charity which provides aid to deprived people in the developing world, instead of giving you something material that you (almost certainly) don't really need? Jeez. Just seems mean-spirited to object to such a thing. Tell you what. I've got a fiver in my purse. I'll send it to you, or I'll donate it to

iwww.girleffect.org/

what do you say?

sausagerolemodel · 15/12/2009 23:27

sorry correct link

www.girleffect.org/

ADingDongDandyChristmasLioness · 15/12/2009 23:32

YANBU.

A few years ago a good friend of DH's got married. He and is wife have a v. tidy income between them - at least £40k p.a. more than us. They like to bang on about how they care and how liberal they are. For their wedding they had a John Lewis wedding list plus an Oxfam one. Because they care. Funny though, that when DH asked which items they'd most like from us, they chose one of the most expensive things on the John Lewis list.

stepaway · 15/12/2009 23:48

I agree with what sausagerolemodel said - "yeah but to actually be offended when someone donates to a well-meaning charity which provides aid to deprived people in the developing world, instead of giving you something material that you (almost certainly) don't really need? Jeez. Just seems mean-spirited to object to such a thing."

I find it surprising that so many people would prefer some bath salts.

PardonMyClench · 15/12/2009 23:50

The thing about the goat is that the recipient cannot, within reason, outwardly object because it is ' worthy' . Hence it is the perfect present for the pious or smug relative. The caveat IMO is that they should be relatively comfortably off - I would never give this to someone who was struglling financially . That would be a piss take.

sausagerolemodel · 16/12/2009 00:00

yeah but giving bathsalts to someone who is struggling financially is not really going to help them out of their hole much is it?

And frankly, I have never objected to a gift in my life. Even aged 5 getting dollies, which I never played with, I always said thankyou and was grateful that i received anything at all. What is this "outwardly objecting" about a GIFT?! Just say thanks and shut up, whatever it is!

pdiddy · 16/12/2009 00:03

YABU. Most charities do good especially the goat one, so how can you object?

expatinscotland · 16/12/2009 00:04

'i spent SO long looking for a gift she would really like and spending money that we don't actually have to buy it.'

take it back. and then get them the fertiliser/sack of shit.

or a shitter/latrine.

that's even better because it means everytime someone takes a shit it'll be on them .

themildmanneredjanitor · 16/12/2009 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 16/12/2009 00:11

yeah but what if they are shitty bath salts that break you out or you don't drink or shite chocolate you hate?

i guess yeah recycle it.

tbh, i've only ever done the charity gift a couple of time to people who were serious pricks.

i'm usually skint so i shop throughout the year and/or do homemade gifts usually baked goods.

expatinscotland · 16/12/2009 00:12

honestly take their gift back, mmj.

just say sorry, no money this year and bake her a cake or have the kids make her a card.

StrictlyKatty · 16/12/2009 07:44

Hahhaha did OP write the artical in the DM today

Bathsheba · 16/12/2009 10:49

I love charity gifts - I'm sorry but I do...

I love sending them and I love receiving them.

My church has very strong links with a school in India. Recently 6 people from our church went over tehre and spent some time in the villages there and came back with stories as to how genuinely owning a goat can lift an entire family out of poverty.....

Mind you, my family all feel very similarly to me and I can say hand on heart that they really appreciate the presents I get them of that type (we are talking elderly Christian Aunties with no needs themselves who support voerseas projects all the time).

When I had DD2 I was in hospital for a long time and received wonderful care - when I left we bought the staff on the ward "midwife training" for someone in a developing country and they were genuinely touched - it meant a LOT mroe to them, knowing that their good work had a real benefit not only to me as a person but to someone somewhere who wanted to do what they do, and help women like they do, but who didn't have the advantages they had had. Far better than a big box of miniture heroes...

2rebecca · 16/12/2009 11:00

If you want to donate to a charity and not buy someone a present fine, it's the deception involved in pretending that a charity "gift" is somehow a present to the person supposedly giving it but who has had no choice in the matter that I find so smug and hypocritical.
Just tell them you aren't giving them a present and are giving the money to charity instead. Much more honest.

Katz · 16/12/2009 11:15

strictlykatty - was just coming to post a limk this thread in the form of a daily mail article

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