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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why people are obsessed with facebook?

76 replies

dingledangle · 14/12/2009 16:48

Just wanted to start a thread to say that I really do not understand peoples obsession with facebook. Am I alone in this?

DD has recently started school and it has opened up a whole new world of people inviting others to be friends on facebook and so forth.

I don't understand it all. I have never been very interested in computers and internet stuff. I only found MN last year. This is a choice and I appreciate others choose to use Facebook but I just wonder how many hours people spend on this stuff each day.

TBH if I was on Facebook and MN I would never get anything else done.

Is it unreasonable to not sign on to Facebook?

OP posts:
FlamingoCrimbo · 14/12/2009 16:50

I hate facebook for facebook's sake, but I love the games on it! So I only have an account for the games.

fluffles · 14/12/2009 16:52

i LOVE facebook because i can chat to actual friends on there rather than random strangers on MN but then again i spend a lot of time with the laptop for work and study and often need a five min break/chat when there's nobody around in RL.

niftyfifty · 14/12/2009 16:55

YANBU - I think it's basically for people to spend hours nosing about what other people are doing! And (from what they tell me!) - people post stuff like 'am in a really bad mood' or 'just finished the ironing'. And the point is? ......
Someone I know posted on facebook that her mother had died. Maybe it's a age/generation thing (me being of the older generation!) but I personally found that very disrespectful to the mother. Just my opinion though.

MamaLazarou · 14/12/2009 16:56

YANBU darling. I love Facebook, but YA certainly NBU to dislike it.

MillyR · 14/12/2009 17:10

Facebook is good if you have family and friends who do not live close by. Not every member of my extended family and my friends are going to email me personally with info on their latest holiday/new dog/child's birthday. It is a really easy way of seeing what people you care about are up to.

So I suppose I like it mainly for the photosharing. Also the messaging seems les formal than sending an email/

bibbitybobbitysantahat · 14/12/2009 17:19

I agree dingle. I am increasingly worried that I will soon have to join Facebook because I keep being prodded by people who think I am terribly anti social not to join. And I know that various circles of friends keep in touch on it and so I feel a little out of the loop. And I think I need to know what its all about so I am au fait with how it works when dd and ds want to get involved.

But, frankly, the idea does not appeal to me one little iota. It really really doesn't. And I fear I'd become addicted too .

purplepeony · 14/12/2009 18:19

I am on FB but often wonder why [hmm)- TBH if I want to tell friends something, I email them or phone them- I don't really use it as a means to chat.

I think it's quite egocentric- people post all kinds of trivia about what they are doing and thinking, and I often think - as if anyone cares!

SantaWears2shoes · 14/12/2009 18:30

yanbu diferent strokes abd all that
but I like it, I can play games and talk to people and keep up with what my dn/dn ure up to

SantaWears2shoes · 14/12/2009 18:31

...

Tortington · 14/12/2009 18:31

its got poker

lovechoc · 14/12/2009 18:33

FB is crap, I wouldn't bother starting it. MN is bad enough, you'd end up getting sucked into something that really is utterly pointless OP.

FlamingoCrimbo · 14/12/2009 18:34

at Custy

I also agree with the ego-centric nature of it for those who post loads of really, really boring status updates - but then I guess you can use that to your advantage! You can work out pretty damn quickly which of your friends (as many will just be random acquaintances) are very self-obsessed and which aren't!

lovechoc · 14/12/2009 18:36

it is more about people bragging about what they do from day to day. they use the false guise of 'keeping in touch with family and friends' but really what they mean is 'I love talking about myself and showing off'.

Original poster
dingledangle · 14/12/2009 18:45

Thanks for replies.

I am not interested in FB at all. But I can appreciate that some people like it. I was quite concerned to hear another parent at my Dd school beside herself that someone had taken her off her 'friends Section' (not sure if I know what that means). It seemed a little childish on both sides TBH. I also wondered whether the person who had removed her would have been 'brave' enough to say that to a persons face. All a bit mean really.

I was certainly made to feel inadequate because I was not on FB and expressed the opinion that I would not be interested in it either. I guess people like to feel part of the group but I am trying to avoid this if possible. The nicest way to communicate with these 'friends' surely is face to face, by phone and as a last resort text/email. But horses for courses I guess?

I had not realised that you could tell people what you were up too......

'Ooh everyone I have just changed my sons sh*y nappy' why would anyone care?

OP posts:
lovechoc · 14/12/2009 18:56

dingledangle FB is very popular now and tbh it doesn't bother me that people are completely shocked and stunned when I say I don't use it. I have no desire to open an account, because I know I would rather enjoy more exciting activities in my life.

Don't be sucked in, if you have no real desire to use it. People will have more respect for you if you stand your ground. All my friends use it with the exception of one, and I don't feel left out because I chat to them in person which is alot better than FB. I'd much rather have meaningful conversation.

mumblecrumble · 14/12/2009 19:15

Facebook is just like a telephone. You wouldn never have a telephone inc ase you spent the whoooooole day on the phone so facebooks the same.

personally I love it. Much more in touch with folks than with emails or phoning. Love seeing my friend's pictures and hearing snippets from their day.

Freinds in Australia, New Zealand etc, very useful to keep in touch wth them.

Stand your ground??? its no herione for goodness sake?!!??!

facebook is fantastic! Don;t use it if you don;t want. But dont use mumsnet then wonder why folks use facebook!!!!

mumblecrumble · 14/12/2009 19:16

Gramma crap in above. Sorry. Am sick today

makkapakkamoo · 14/12/2009 19:24

Depending on the age of your dc, i think it is a wise idea to set up your own account if you have dc using the site.

i think yanbu to wonder about people's obsession with it, but for safety's sake i do think it's important to familiarise yourself with any networking sites your dc are using. And you should add them as a friend, so you are more likely to know if they are sharing too much personal information with 'strangers' or are likely to meet up with someone they've met online.

addictedtolatte · 14/12/2009 19:36

i dont have an obsession with facebook but i do use it. i originally used it to trace my best friend who had moved to bermuda and i had stupidly lost all her contact details when i moved house. it is great being able to speak to her again. i only accept friends i actually know though some people befriend people who they have never met which i do find strange.

PurpleLostPrincess · 14/12/2009 19:50

I used to be obsessed with it but not anymore. I use it to keep in touch with friends who have moved away. Some of my friends use it, some don't. I only accept requests from people I know or would say hello to if I passed them in the street.

I can't stand it when people try and twist people's arms into going onto it - if you don't fancy it, there's nothing wrong with that! It's not an exclusive club or anything and it annoys me when people make out like it is...

Anyway, I've always got the impression it was for 'adults' rather than children? DS1 is 15 and has an account - I'm friends with him and know his password so I can 'keep an eye on things' as they say (did the same when he used Bebo). Most of his friends put in friend requests to me which was nice . However DD1 is 11 and I'm not too keen on her having an account just yet for a whole host of reasons...

HappyChristmasFromKimi · 14/12/2009 19:51

I have face book and look at it once a day.
Some people put every little detail of their life on it and it is sooooo boring, over compensating for somethink me thinks

RockBird · 14/12/2009 20:02

If you like it, use it. If you don't, then don't. I don't know what's to be gained by this apparent bragging that your life is so wonderfully busy that you don't need it. Great, but really, that doesn't make you any better or worse than someone who does use it.

As for the mindless egotistic status updates, what do you think MN is full of day after day?

doesntplaywellwithothers · 14/12/2009 20:21

Yeah, I can't see that MN is really all that different, and in some ways it's a little more personal...here...you're chatting with virtual strangers, and telling them lots of personal things about yourself. On FB, you can chat with people you KNOW, see photos of them, keep up with their happenings on a more daily basis.
I DO actually use it to keep in touch with family and friends in the US. I DO post status reports about funny stuff that's happening, or that asks a question for everyone to contribute to. I hate games, so I don't do that, but I like the fact that it's a way to keep up with people without having to keep the bloody time difference in mind.
It's a decision only you can make...no matter what we all say about it. But, it annoys me when people slag it off as being a forum to brag or whatever...it's no different than being on MN.

IfYouCouldWouldYou · 15/12/2009 00:26

I have no desire to be on FB I don't want to broadcast my life on the net. I hate when people look horrified when i say i don't use it. If i want anyone to know stuff about me i will tell them.
There are a couple of kids in dd's class who have an account (with thier pics on profile) They are 6....WTF!!!

Why on earth would a six year old need a FB account and mores the point what parent would allow this??...not me thats for sure.

My 11 year opened an account, he told me, i closed it down....told him to ask me again when he is a few years older. Don't agree with kids using it.

confuddledDOTcom · 15/12/2009 00:42

Not all of Facebook is about bragging about your life. I am on some wonderful communities and have made some great friends through it. I have organised campaigns on there, fundraising, memorials... All sorts! I update my status once or so a week, not boring "... is sitting on a bus" type messages, a quote from my children or an important piece of news or something funny that has happened or something that I'm thinking about.

All my friends see is results of games I play or quizzes I take and my occasional status updates.

Facebook is like the internet, it's what you make of it.

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