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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why people are obsessed with facebook?

76 replies

dingledangle · 14/12/2009 16:48

Just wanted to start a thread to say that I really do not understand peoples obsession with facebook. Am I alone in this?

DD has recently started school and it has opened up a whole new world of people inviting others to be friends on facebook and so forth.

I don't understand it all. I have never been very interested in computers and internet stuff. I only found MN last year. This is a choice and I appreciate others choose to use Facebook but I just wonder how many hours people spend on this stuff each day.

TBH if I was on Facebook and MN I would never get anything else done.

Is it unreasonable to not sign on to Facebook?

OP posts:
RockBird · 15/12/2009 07:38

"I have no desire to be on FB I don't want to broadcast my life on the net."

Can you not see the irony in that statement?

I use it a lot and don't give a toss if others do or not. But I can't bear the anti FB smuggery, which is just like the wedding for sixpence smuggery and the no tv smuggery and the anti Greggs smuggery. FB, MN, all the same thing but you somehow think you're not doing it. Well you are, just on a different website.

lovechoc · 15/12/2009 09:21

ach you're missing the point. FB is going out of your way to brag about your personal life, your details are up there for everyone to know about.

MN on the other hand means you are anon, no one knows about your life, who you are. That's the beauty of using a forum. You have no real commitment to 'updating' anything. On FB people expect you to update what you are doing. Forums are not really used like that.

I don't have a list on MN profile about my age, what I do for a living, how many DC I have, or what I like to read or do for a hobby etc. It's no one else's business and I don't care to share that info. On FB people expect to know at least your full name surely?? Or am I wrong??

MamaLazarou · 15/12/2009 09:44

Yes, on FB, people do generally expect to know your full name. This is because they are people you already know. It's just a convenient way of keeping in touch with people you know. You don't have to brag about your life, or list the excruciating minutiae of your existence. You can just use it for playing online Scrabble with your mum, or for organising surprise parties for people! If you don't like it, don't join - simple.

lovechoc · 15/12/2009 11:27

Well that's the beauty of a forum, you don't have to disclose your personal information to others. Too much hassle IMHO.

I don't like and I won't be joining, so yes it is that simple

displayuntiltwelfthnight · 15/12/2009 11:30

YANBU
I don't have a facebook account and don't intend to get one
bit annoyed when people suggest it's odd not to have an account (not on MN, just some of our mutual friends who have been surprised)but horses for courses....

ooojimaflip · 15/12/2009 11:41

YABU to give a damn either way.

Kaloki · 15/12/2009 12:18

"ach you're missing the point. FB is going out of your way to brag about your personal life, your details are up there for everyone to know about."

(Not aimed at you lovechoc, your post just reminded me of arguments I've had with people about FB.)

But then if you only add people who already know you then they already know those details surely? FB doesn't extract information from you, you have to put it there, and you can put as little or as much as you like, and then restrict who can access it. That's the one thing that always amuses me about people's ideas about FB. Especially as they aren't being forced to join or anything.

I'm on there as it means I can be updated on what friends and family who I don't see often are up to, especially photos. I have one friend who never sends me photos as she hates how she looks, but through facebook I actually get to "see" her. It also saves sending out CC'd emails to people. Eg. I'm about to move house, I can send my new address to friends easier through FB than email.

memoo · 15/12/2009 12:37

YABU Fb does have its uses! My lovely sister lives in Oz and its a really good way of keeping in touch with what she's up to.

Especially as I have had a baby a few months ago, it means sis gets to see loads of pics and get regular updates

lovechoc · 15/12/2009 12:41

but there are always going to be people who don't use FB and you will have to update these people via email or phone call to let them know your news of moving house or a new job anyway.

we can all just agree to disagree. DH uses FB and that's his choice, but I do think he spends more time on it than is really necessary and I'm sure he's not the only one! I get updated on what's happening through him so it saves me having to open an account. I just can't be bothered with it all. Plenty friends harp on at me about it but I just haven't the inclination to join.

I know you can add as little or as much as you want on FB for people to see but that's my point. Some people put a bit TOO much information on there about themselves (have heard this from DH!) and it's all just a bit narccassistic tbh.

Pikelit · 15/12/2009 12:49

Facebook can be Satan's Little Internet Helper. Or damned useful. I tend to the second option but then I don't bare my soul all over the internet anyway. I share what I think is sensible and necessary and certainly don't use FB as a means of stirring up grief between friends and family. However, if you are already motivated to behave seditiously you won't have needed the invention of Facebook to get you started.

Frostythesurfmum · 15/12/2009 12:49

I think Facebook can be hilarious - I love the interaction on the status updates For me it's like going to the pub. I wander in, see who's about, tell them something about my day, bit of banter, bit of a catch up and it means I can touch base with loads of people who aren't local.

Frostythesurfmum · 15/12/2009 12:52

I don't like the cryptic status updates though - "Frosty is sad :-(" and then when everyone piles in and asks why there's no response.

Kaloki · 15/12/2009 12:56

"but there are always going to be people who don't use FB and you will have to update these people via email or phone call to let them know your news of moving house or a new job anyway."

For me there isn't, which makes life easy lol

Some of facebook is very narcissistic, I can think of one person on my list who does update every 5 mins. But on the whole I quite like it. But totally understand why people can't be bothered to join up. No doubt in a few years it'll be replaced by something new and will be dying like MySpace. I just hope it isn't Twitter, now that really is bad!

Pikelit · 15/12/2009 12:58

Twitter gives me the abdabs. I don't like being "followed".

lovechoc · 15/12/2009 13:02

oh yes I definately agree about Twitter! I know a few people who use it and I have occasionally checked their updates and it is so.....BORING. who cares what someone had for their tea or if they were at the shops in the afternoon.

lovechoc · 15/12/2009 13:03

or they say 'Good morning all!' every day. Yawn. Get a life.

Kaloki · 15/12/2009 13:06

Twitter is basically the most boring part of Facebook.

MamaLazarou · 15/12/2009 13:07

I still don't understand Twitter.

Pikelit · 15/12/2009 13:17

I don't understand Twitter either. I'm as egoistical as the next person but cannot honestly believe that anyone would be interested in reading a string of 140-character long updates from my daily life. Not even on eventful days.

I've also been put off Twitter by being "followed" by someone who said I wouldn't know him in RL, but he was almost always behind me when I was working. He was even creepier in RL, it has to be said.

earthpixie · 15/12/2009 13:23

I agree with OP. If I want to speak to my friends, I email, text or ring them.

What's the point of it?

I have a friend who posts every few hours:
"I'm buying milk; now what else shall I get?" !!!!

DuelingFanjo · 15/12/2009 13:23

What MamaLazarou saiod "YANBU darling. I love Facebook, but YA certainly NBU to dislike it."

try not to let it get you down.

lovechoc · 15/12/2009 13:24

that's the thing though, people are updating stuff on Twitter that is actually quite personal and they don't have their page locked to randoms who could follow them easily. I just couldn't live with myself if someone tried to steal my identity because I'd stupidly posted information about the area I live in or the school DC go to or other info about family members (and it does happen I've seen it for myself!).

I mean, I'm sure it suits the Government to have everyone using social networking sites so they can keep tabs on who is doing what and where, but really it's just another avenue where there's going to be problems later on. Big brother is watching you...

Kaloki · 15/12/2009 13:30

"I mean, I'm sure it suits the Government to have everyone using social networking sites so they can keep tabs on who is doing what and where, but really it's just another avenue where there's going to be problems later on. Big brother is watching you..."

Seriously?!

Morloth · 15/12/2009 13:30

I like Facebook. Was pointing out to DH last night that there are births in SA, Czech, Oz, NZ, UK and the States that I am looking forward to. We are all good friends and it is wonderful to be able to chatter together all at once about how things are going. Also when 2 of the babies made their appearance we all enjoyed those photos at once.

I only have actual friends and family on my Facebook though, and don't update that often myself, I view it like a virtual coffee shop really.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 15/12/2009 13:31

"I just couldn't live with myself if someone tried to steal my identity because I'd stupidly posted information about the area I live in or the school DC go to or other info about family members"

yes it happens on here (MN) too - and posts ARE easily found via google - at least on Twitter and FAcebook you actually have to register/log-in to read the stuff.

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