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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

or just downright mean?

101 replies

saladfingers · 14/12/2009 15:53

We visited santa yesterday and my 2 year old DD told 'her' - yes a female santa!- quite clearly that she wanted a pink bike.

We have 2 younger DSs and so opted for the red and yellow trike from the well known toy store as it would be a 'more sensible' hand me down sort of colour!(DP has very old fashioned ideas on gender stereotyping of colours and wouldn't like to see DSs with anything pink, quite funny actually as 18 month old DS1's favourite toy of the moment is older sister's talking mirror that says 'don't you just love being a princess!)

Now i'm feeling quilty, should we return it and get the colour she asked for?

OP posts:

ijustwanttoaskaquestion · 15/12/2009 10:42

its like this - chances are, your DD will be really happy with the yellow bike, my DD hates pink, but your DD has specified she wants a PINK one - do you really want to see her little face drop on xmas morning when its not quite right?? get the pink one, you can always spray paint it camoflauge if your DH is going to be a cock about handing it down to his little men

Buddleja · 15/12/2009 10:46

Considering you didn't know that she wanted the trike to be pink then I'd keep the one you've got and pink it up

You could also change it for a pink one - this will also mean that when the boys get it you'd be able to re-paint it whatever colour they'd like it too be - hence removing that situation where the second and third born always get hand me downs as the trike will be 'new'

Whilst I get what posters are saying about it not being fair that she isn't getting what she wants because of the boys you also need to think that is it fair that the boys will only get hand me downs that are suited to want she wants and not what they want.

claw3 · 15/12/2009 11:03

My ds changes his mind on a daily basis about what he wants Santa to bring, im dreading our visit to Santa!

KTNoo · 15/12/2009 11:10

My dd is almost 4 and still wouldn't really know exactly what to ask for, so I wouldn't worry about a 2 year old. When Santa at the school fete asked her what she wanted for Christmas she answered "A present, please."

Come on, your dd will be happy whatever she gets.

lovechoc · 15/12/2009 11:20

exactly, she's a 2yo fgs! my 2yo changes his mind as well, from one moment to the next. she will be delighted to just be unwrapping any presents she gets, regardless of what's in it.

mumeeee · 15/12/2009 11:43

She asked for a pink one. You were going to get her a bike anyway. So yes you should get her a pink one.

ginormoboobs · 15/12/2009 11:58

She is 2. She won't care.
She will see a bike and think biiiiiiikkkkkke. She will not think "Oh , it's red , that's shit"
I have a just turned 3 yo and a DS who is 2 in a few weeks. They wouldn't care what colour a bike was so long is it was their bike.

lovechoc · 15/12/2009 12:44

agree ginormoboobs. a 2yo doesn't know any better.

grumpypants · 15/12/2009 12:51

Does she actually want a pink one? My ds (2) thinks everything is yellow at the moment. But, I would buy pink kne pads, helmet, tasslly handlebar things and basket for dolls. Esp, as on xmas morning it'll be those things she plays with rather than you getting up and going bike riding (nb if you are, well done. I shall be drinking sherry and inhaling quality street by 10am)

canella · 15/12/2009 13:31

my ds (3) asked for a bike with pedals for his 3rd birthday every time anyone asked him for the 2 months before his birthday.

So we got him one and he went on it twice and hasnt asked for it again!

Then he carried on playing with the other toys that he got!

children are fickle (no matter how well they can articulate what they want) so i really wouldnt stress what colour the bike is!

KTNoo · 15/12/2009 14:23

Good point, grumpypants. My ds used to say blue for everything.

"Which yoghurt do you want?"

"A blue one."

grumpypants · 15/12/2009 16:30

mmmm, yum blue yoghurt

Chrysanthemum5 · 15/12/2009 16:36

I think it is reasonable to take a pragmatic view of these things. DS (5) got a bike for his birthday, we deliberately chose a neutral colour one so that his sister could have it as a hand me down when he grows out of it. I guess the difference is that he was happy with the one we chose.

kinnies · 15/12/2009 16:40

Sounds mean getting dd a presant with Ds in mind.
I would get her the pink one.

You can get a can of spray paint for it when shes too big for it.

seeker · 15/12/2009 16:43

Get her the pink one!

The pink thing is really important to some of them - she will remember her pink bike forever. You can always sell it on or hand it on to another girl owning family.

Sometimes practical is the wrong way to go.

Oh, and speaking as a sister of two brothers, if you don't change it, never never tell her, even when she's 35, that she didn't get a pink bike because you wanted to buy one that could be handed down to her brothers. This is very important advice!

Original poster

saladfingers · 15/12/2009 16:49

lol point taken and understood seeker! Do you feel damaged in some way?

Turns out DP had been having his own thoughts on this issue since we saw santa and the pink revelation was made, we're changing the bike for a pink one!

OP posts:

StiffUpperHip · 15/12/2009 17:15

I'd stick with the non-pink one (none of ours are pink and we have 3 girls). But I'd also make sure dd wasn't expecting a pink one before then. I'd try to persuade her it would be better to have a red and yellow one, because then the boys could have it after she's grown out of it and wouldn't it be nice for her to give it to them? If you really want to, you could get some lametta type things for the handles in pink, pink helmet, dolls seat, etc.

But then, I don't like the whole pink thing, and we don't have a house full of it.

tootiredtothink · 15/12/2009 17:27

Good God - is this the first AIBU that ended up with OP agreeing with everyone who said she was .

History has been made......

kinnies · 15/12/2009 17:39

yay!!!!!!!!!!!!
God bless you, one and all

LoveBeingAMummyKissingSanta · 16/12/2009 10:49

Daddy is a softy afterall bless him

FimbleHobbs · 16/12/2009 10:56

Seen you are changing it but fwiw I'd stick with the original one and include a note from Santa saying it was lovely to see her. One of the elves muddled up the paint in the workshop so her bike is red/blue but here is a lovely pink helmet, have lots of fun on your bike, etc etc.

differentnameforthis · 16/12/2009 11:41

Your poor dd, having her presents choosed for 'hand me down' value!

It's her present, surely she deserves one she wants at Christmas (probably her first Christmas that she has actually been able to properly ask for something!

differentnameforthis · 16/12/2009 11:42

choosen, of course!

UniS · 16/12/2009 11:50

YANBU

bikes don't need to be pink or blue. red is very good colour. Better for pretending its fire engine.
a pink bell? pink spokeydookeys? maybe, but don't return the whole bike .

mumoverseas · 16/12/2009 12:20

yay for the pink bike. My DD is 3 and got a pink bike and I know she'd have been devestated (she is a bit of a drama queen) if she'd not got a pink one. Everything has to be pink for her

I hope she loves it on Christmas day

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