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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To intensely dislike greedy kids?

60 replies

OnlyTeaForMe · 12/12/2009 16:26

Took some of DS1's friends out for his birthday (10th) last night (pizza + cinema).

We ordered big plates of starters to share (wings, garlic bread, chicken strips etc). I'd estimated we would have more than enough.

Anyway, when they arrived one boy immediately piled his plate high with about half the food on the platter. I commented that I thought he had a bit much, that it was only meant to be a starter, but he didn't put any back, and I didn't feel I could insist. He didn't eat it all .
Meanwhile I had to console DS2 who didn't get any chicken as a result!

Same child started piling pizza slices on when they arrived, and this time I stopped him and told him to take two and come back for more later if he was still hungry.

Pudding was one of those nightmare 'help yourself ice-cream + sweets' things. Again he completely filled his bowl with a vile amount of food and crap sweets/ topping and then later left half of it...

WHY? WHY? WHY?

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 12/12/2009 16:34

It is compulsory for there to be a child like this at every birthday party, it is nature's way of counter balancing the child who hates everything on offer, and says they only eat cucumber at home

RealityIsHungover · 12/12/2009 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

VicarInaTinselTuTu · 12/12/2009 16:46

agree with Kurri - there is always one! you either get one who does this or one who will eat NOTHING because they dont like it then go home and tell their parents they got nothing to eat!

MaggieNollaig · 12/12/2009 16:48

my son is that one i fear!!! i often have to wrestle food off him. heaven knows what a pig he is when i'm not around to police what he eats.

lazyemma · 12/12/2009 17:39

As he is 10, and therefore easily old enough to understand about sharing, I think I would have been a bit sterner with greedy boy and told him to leave some chicken for other people.

It doesn't bother me if children eat a lot (especially at birthday parties, which are often a bit bacchanalian) but not if that means others have to go without.

MamaLazarou · 12/12/2009 17:44

My brother's like this, and he's 36: at shared meals, he helps himself to seconds before anyone has had firsts.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 12/12/2009 17:47

I agree at 10 I would have insisted that he put some back as you did with the pizza.
But I also don't think he was necessarily being greedy either he was probably very excited and at 10 without some of the social niceties we have as adults where we all stare at the last piece wanting it but not taking it.

He maybe doesn't get to go to places like that often and probably doesn't ever get the to share plates out down in front of him like that thus not having the experience to know you don't grab it all and shovel it onto your plate and honestly there are oads of kids out there with eyes bigger than their belly.

MarthaFarquhar · 12/12/2009 17:50

LOL at KurriKurri.

I blame the parents . You see plenty of grown-ups hoarding food at buffets too, and it gets on my tits, mainly because I am a greedy sod myself, but manners prevent me from piling high,

mrsboogiefairylights · 12/12/2009 17:53

It really annoys me when adults do this in restaurants - like in an Indian when they deliver the dishes of food to your table and one greedy bloke straight off piles all of his dishes onto his plate into a big unappetising mess. Yuk.

Puts me right off.

Lexilicious · 12/12/2009 17:58

I never was a greedy child (don't remember getting invited to many/any birthday parties) but oh dear god I am (at least for now) that kind of adult. I went to a nice pub after baby massage last week with 3 antenatal group friends and ordered a mixed tapas dish from the 'to share' section. I actually thought the prices were per person and you would say if you wanted a platter for two/three/whatever. Anyway, it arrived and the waitress said how many side plates shall I bring you? I had to say, er, it's just for me . But in my defence I am the only one still exclusively BFing.

OnlyTeaForMe · 12/12/2009 17:58

I fear I'm a bit of a (self) control freak and I have to say I find it disturbing when I see people with no sense of moderation at these buffet type events.

Even with the ice-cream, re the comment "that's the whole point of those things and no one else was missing out" - it's not really the point is it? Why take more than you are ever going to eat? It's just so slobby innit!?

Kids I can sort of understand, with all the excitement of a party etc, but I'd also hope that by age 10 they would have been to enough of these things to know a bit about sharing etc.

The same child asked for coke and popcorn when we went into the cinema (10 mins after leaving restaurant!). I said no .

OP posts:
notanumber · 12/12/2009 18:00

Well, greed isn't really a problem, especially at parties where eating crap delicious healthy party food til you're green is basicially de rigueur.

The selfishness of not leaving enough for others is a problem though, I agree.

However, as ineedacleaner said, at ten lots of kids still need reminding not to be selfish, especially when in a state of high excitement.

Perhaps a straighforward, "David, you've got absolutely heaps there and Oliver hasn't had any chicken yet and there's none left on the plate. Could you give him a few of your bits please?" would have done it. Kids generally don't take offence at reasonable requests in my opinion.

TheShowMustGoOn · 12/12/2009 18:04

My exH was the same.

I remeber one awful time he actually forked prawns from my sisters pasta 'to try'. She is only a teen and has a weird other peopes mouths phobia so she stopped eating the second he did it. He was oblivious.

MeringueUtan · 12/12/2009 18:05

I agree
one onece nnicked as sausage form dss plate that he was planning on eating
he was HUGE too

inthesticks · 12/12/2009 18:06

It's absolutely true that you get a child like that at every party. I wouldn't mind if they ate it all but they never do.
Actually though, I am far more irritated by the child who says he doesn't like anything that you put in front of him.
One of DS's friends was like that at 4 years old. He's 14 now and no better. It doesn't matter whether you give him fruit or veg or Pizza , he looks at it all as though it were poison , picks it to bits and then leaves it. I cringe whenever DS wants him over for tea.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 12/12/2009 18:11

Yeah taking more than you can eat is bad but at 10??? nah perfectly normal.
I have never ever been a big eater but at 10, I would have been sooo excited at getting to use the ice cream factory and would be absolutely convinced that I could finish everything in front of me just because I was getting carried away in the excitement of it all.
Also these places would be a huge treat to me, so again the excitement of it would have blown me away and although I probably never realised at the time it was such a treat I would have piled everything on because I wouldn't know when i'd be back again.

TheShowMustGoOn · 12/12/2009 18:13

inthesticks oh yes.

I had a friends DD over and was told she would eat pasta with butter. that was it.

When I put the butter on she refused to eat it as it was 'too much'.

shinyshoes · 12/12/2009 18:16

its only food ffs

AmericanHag · 12/12/2009 18:17

YANBU. You were too nice, actually. I would have stopped the chicken hogging. If he wants to eat like a pig (and grow to look like one) let him do it on his parents' time and dime.

The bright side is that you've survived hosting a 10-year-old's birthday party. You need not ever fear Hell again. ;)

OrmIrian · 12/12/2009 18:24

I hate that too. One of the things most calculated to give me a cat's arse mouth

Having said that DS#1 tends to be a bit of a pig at times. But not to deprive anyone else and he would eat it all. Hence his incipient spare tyre He just always is so hungry. I think it's his age....

Actually it probably isn't his age. DH is the same.

Imisssleeping · 12/12/2009 20:14

If you have an upset child with no food and a child with food piled high, then as the adult it was your responsibility to ensure it was shared fairly.
No point in complaining after, you could have handled the situation alot better thatn you did.

QandA · 12/12/2009 20:21

I agree with Imiss, it is your responsibility to make sure that the food you ordered is shared out fairly, yes he should take some responsibility, but it is still your job to police it.

NotanOtter · 12/12/2009 20:23

i agree with the poster who said there is always one

Years back we had a party for dc3 and one boy refused the drinks on offer and rudely asked for 'red bull' it was a 7th birthday party!

OnlyTeaForMe · 12/12/2009 20:30

notanumber - "greed isn't really a problem, especially at parties where eating crap delicious healthy party food til you're green is basicially de rigueur"

Do people really believe that over-eating isn't a problem? This country has a huge obesity problem - surely it's this kind of attitude that feeds it (pardon the pun )

I certainly wouldn't want my children to grow up believing that "eating ...party food til you're green is basicially de rigueur"

But I take the point about 10 year olds/ excitement etc. At the end of the day, it was no big deal. I'm just glad he isn't my kid!

OP posts:
MrsMattie · 12/12/2009 20:31

There was probably a fussy kid who was allergic to anything other than organic quinoa anyway, wasn't there? The bloater was just evening it up a bit.