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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed at DH spending so much money

51 replies

NoseyNooNoo · 10/12/2009 22:29

We've recently moved into rented whilst we wait to find a house to buy. Only a few houses have come up in area but they tend to be £25-50k over our limit.

Our rented house is 1.2 miles from train station up/down a very steep hill. DH has talked about getting a car. In the meantime he has unilaterally hired a car at £20 per day to run himself the 1.2 miles to the station. He also pays £3 per day for parking. I suggested perhaps he get a taxi but he says this would be too unreliable.

I had started to think buying himself a little run about would be the cheaper option but tonight saw the details of the car he has in mind - an 09 5-door Fiesta priced £11k. I had expected him to be spending a third of that tops.

Given that we can't quite afford to buy the type of house we want am I being mean to think he doesn't need to spend £11k on a car plus £700+ parking p.a. plus insurance for a new car.

To put in context I drive a 05 Honda Jazz.

I'm a SAHM so he earns the money but I don't think that is wholly relevant and to be fair he has never raised that.

OP posts:

bibbitybobbitysantahat · 10/12/2009 22:32

Yanbu. Can he not cycle 1.2 miles? £11,000 is ridiculous.

thisisyesterday · 10/12/2009 22:34

:-O it's 1.2 miles.... does he not have legs? can he not walk?

my 5 year old can walk that. tell him to stop being a fanny!

Fruitysunshine · 10/12/2009 22:37

My DH lives just over a mile from the station and he walks it every time. There is a steep hill involved but he sees it as a bit of exercise.

That is not far at all to walk for the station!

HomeTalk · 10/12/2009 22:38

Can you drop him to the station in the morning?

At least the walk back would then be downhill...

11k is far too much to pay for a car if you are trying to save to buy a house, especially if it is going to sit in a train station car park all day and you can share your car at weekends. (IMO)

jasper · 10/12/2009 22:38

can't he walk to the station or have you drive him if the weather is foul?

jkklpu · 10/12/2009 22:39

the most "reliable" form of transport is shanks's pony - you always know how long it will take and it costs nothing!

lilacpink · 10/12/2009 22:39

Ok, please don't shoot me for asking these questions, but would the car be your husband's 'dream'? his hobby? his one big spend (for himself) that he would love for years?

This is the case with my DH. While I have an old banger and see a car as geting from A-B, to him it is an interest, and provides escape from family life (so that then he's happy to spend all other money on us). He's happier for having one that he can enjoy, he researches cars for years before changing it. I don't understand it, but it's 'in him' to be this way and has been for the 13 yrs we've been together.

LadyGlenChristmasPresent · 10/12/2009 22:39

1.2 miles? FGS not walking that is ridiculous for anyone over the age of three. Have you pointed out to him that he is spending over £100 A WEEK to avoid taking a small amount of healthy exercise?

Original poster

NoseyNooNoo · 10/12/2009 22:42

I wouldn't want to be driving him there at 6.30am having woken up a 1yr and 3yr old although we were happy to collect him of an evening particularly when weather was atrocious recently. It really is a very steep hill to be fair. I wouldn't want to walk it after a long day at work

OP posts:

DecorHate · 10/12/2009 22:47

If he's not prepared to walk/cycle why not book a regular taxi to take him each morning and you collect him if the weather is bad?

Hiring a car to leave it sitting at the station each day is ridiculous.

Fruitysunshine · 10/12/2009 22:52

My DH has a dream car in mind but until the time is right for ALL of the family (which always come first, as we do as a group!) then it has to wait.

We're talking a mile lilacpink..........why don't you walk it and see how far it is? Then you will realise how ridiculous it is to spend that on a car that sits in a car park all day and pays for the privilege.

Sorry, but it seems too indulgent, especially when you are trying to buy a house too....

catsmother · 10/12/2009 22:54

1.2 miles .... steep hill or not (and I live at the top of a steep hill) would take the average healthy adult 15-20 minutes to walk. Even adding in the return journey that's only 2.4 miles a deay - far far less than the recommended amount of walking adults are "supposed" to do to keep fit.

To spend £11K & parking is plain crazy if you can't afford it and the car's value will soon depreciate anyway. Even if money was no object it does seem incredibly lazy unless he has mobility problems or it's absolutely peeing it down.

Original poster

NoseyNooNoo · 10/12/2009 22:55

Lilacpink - it wouldn't be his dream. It would just be a car to get from A-B but I think he's too proud to get a car that will just do that.

OP posts:

JjandtheBean · 10/12/2009 22:56

YANBU,
dp walks anything that takes less than 40mins!
our car is a simple small 106 that cost us £200 from a friend, just right, he lusts after a subaru and i just point out the facts of running costs and so on and he loves the little car again!

diddl · 11/12/2009 08:44

OMG!
Of course he should be walking!

But do you need the car everyday?

skihorse · 11/12/2009 08:50

YABU and neither of you are thinking straight.

Two cars when you're a SAHM and his "commute" is 1.2 miles? Put on your bloody dressing-gown and run him down to the station fgs.

skihorse · 11/12/2009 08:51

Oh and if you want a house more than you can afford have you considered contributing to the household income yourself?

girlsyearapart · 11/12/2009 09:01

ignoring the car bit - if your houses are that much over your budget have you tried offering under the asking price? It's a buyers market you might get lucky.

Arsed · 11/12/2009 09:12

It'd take him longer to defrost the car in the winter than it would to walk to the station !

MamaLazarou · 11/12/2009 09:13

YANBU

Is there a reason why you can't give him a lift to the station?

EdgarAleNPie · 11/12/2009 11:31

Yanbu. my dad walked that distance to the train for 13 years - and then cycled for 2.

and then the 2 hour train ride to town...

pooexplosionsonthedustyroad · 11/12/2009 11:40

he can drive your car to the station, park there and you can walk and collect ot later.

Or the lazy bastard could just walk.

justaboutisfatandtired · 11/12/2009 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

OrmIrian · 11/12/2009 11:44

YANBU! Could you give him a lift?

diddl · 11/12/2009 11:46

Does he have a physically demanding job?

If not,I´d wonder why an adult can´t walk up a hill after work!

He really is wasting money with the hired car & the parking fees.

It would surely be better to get the occasional taxi home?

And if there´s 11000GBP for a second car-wouldn´t that be better used as a deposit?

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