AIBU to be mad a MIL and FIl???

[katielf]

Sorry to post this but am soo cross at the moment and need to know if IABU. Also sorry it is a long one.

Currently I have a bad bowt of the flu which has left me bed ridden for 4 days. MIL and FIL kindly offered to take DS (who is 14 weeks old) for a couple of nights so that he does not catch anything from myself. This was great, as he was a little bit prem and I am not breast feeding so I did not want him to be subjected to catching this bug.

This was so kind of thew in-laws to do as my DH has had a few v v v early starts for work. I told MIL last night how much I appreciated all of thier help, and told her that my symptoms were clearing up and would think DS will be able to come home today.

I spoke to her this morning to see how he was and to explain that once DH was home we would make the decision as to when we would pick up DS. She said great that she could spend the rest of the day with him. I was v greatful and even though I am missing DS terribly, I said ok.

My FIL called to help with DIY jobs at our house this morning and let it slip that MIL was taking DS to the DRS as he has been dribbling quite a lot over the last couple of days and had started to get a rash on his cheeks. ( I had been to the DRs last week about this and had been told to use vaseline which I was happy about).

I said that I had not been told about this and was not happy. FIL laughed it off and said it was just to go and get some cream for DS. I have tried to contact MIL all afternoon to see what the DRS has said and what medication they have given him, as I want to be the one to make the decision as to what is or is not used in the carre of my child, but am not able to get hold of them as they hgave gone out for the afternoon for lunch and shopping!!!!!!!

Please tell me if I ABU as I feel that they should have contacted myself or my DH before even making the phonecall to the drs. And even then I should have been called as soon as they arrived home. I feel completely undermined and incapable as a mother.

Sorry rant over just need to know if I am being dramatic or not. Thanks

YABU. If you're so ill that you've had to hand over your 14 weeker for 4 days to the ILs it's right that they didn't want to worry you about a minor rash and took the baby to the GP themselves.

Personally I think you are overreacting. They seem like very caring in-laws. They're helping you with the baby and DIY in your house all in the same week! Your insecurity of it making you feel like an incapable mother is something you need to deal with rather than viewing their kindness in a negative way.

You say you want to know what medication he has been given so you can have a say over whether he can have it or not. In reality what knowledge do you even have on medicines?

YANBU to be annoyed. My MIL used to use any opportunity to cover my DS in bizarre lotions and potions and it used to make me furious. However, I never said anything as I knew she would never give him anything harmful and it was easy just to throw away whatever she forced upon me as soon as I got home. Also she is a very willing babysitter and that's invaluable.

It sounds as if your ILs are a fantastic help so my advice would be not to make a big deal out of this. I think MILs tend to get a bit overexcited when left in sole charge of a baby and do these things without realising that they're overstepping the mark. Mine calmed down with time though so hopefully yours will too.

YABU for sure.

My in-laws very kindly looked after DS for 3 days for us when I was ill and DH couldn't take time off work.

He had an unforeseen medical issue whilst with them and their GP prescribed him medication to help with it -they called me later to check it was OK but the very fact that they were entrusted with him for that time meant it was up to them to handle any issues as they saw fit.

did you tell them about the rash????

think of it this way: he gets a rash, they don't know what it is. don't want to worry you because you're ill so rush off to the gp.

i'd be bloody grateful.

and next time make sure you tell them EVERYTHING.

and ask them to phone you first before going to the docs.

just boundaries, but you must express your appreciation x 10000.

i wish i had an ounce of the support you're getting.