...to not want people to be rude when you ask for advice. People on MN basically.

[Brunettelady]

Like the title says. I have posted and read many comments that are very very rude on here when people are just asking for a bit of advice. I wouldn't talk to people like it in RL so why do people do it on here? Are they really that rude or feel they can say it as no one knows who they are?

Ok so some posts maybe a but daft but there is no need to say some of the comments that I have read.

This is not an advice and support topic. It is an opinions and judgement topic. Post here for opinions and to find out whether or not you are BU.

If you want advice and support post in the relevent topic. For a thread about a SIL that should be the relationships thread. You will find more help there

AIBU is not cosy group therapy with affirmative responses and chin stroking. it is a discussion forum,and if you put your heartfelt woe on mn expect some comment

yes,it can be direct at times.but tell you what the advice will be honest,candid more so than perhaps asking in real life

scottishmummy - totally agree! I think I love you

As a generally accepted 'nice person' in RL I find it very refreshing to hear and be able to give honest opinions here. It is useful to hear that you are being a dick - it might not be comfortable but it is useful.

get fucked (would this be an example?)

har de har

yabu

also isn't a thread about a thread ver ver bad form?

we are very nice elsewhere on the site but like to argue our point on aibu

Many many good points on here and too many people to personally reply to. Don't know what the Itchy thing was though. Think that may be someone else.

Yes I know the SIL thing. I'm fairly new to MN so I'm not sure about where to post things. I need to have a better look around.

I know the majority of people on here give great advice and are good at getting people to look at things from another angle. I have certainly had things pointed out that I never thought of.

I agree its rude when people comment on spelling etc. Thats nothing to do with the thread. I do like the swearing ones (unless someone is actually telling another person so fuck off seriously, that would be rude). They way that some people vent really does make me laugh and I have been in tears at some of the things I have read on here.

I am on Netmums but since I have found MN, I think this is waaayyyyy better tbh.

I think I need to be less sensitive and MN will help me to become a better person .

Ronaldinhio, yes your first comment would be an example! lol.

Oh No!!!! I've committed a sin and been rude on another thread!!

It is justified though!!

Heehee, I will go and have a look

You are clearly getting with the programme...

I can't see you being rude anywhere...

It is on the wanting more money thread.

Ah, seen it now. You should just take the piss- they are clearly a bored loon

I've never seen anyone be rude and not be pulled up on it. And I like that.

You have to expect a bit of straight talking/sharp tonguedness on AIBU. I quite like it

Why is it people see the nasty things but never the nice?

Seriosuly, sometimes I wonder why I do try to be nice sometimes, people never store it in their memories.

plenty of all wrolds on here, as befits a representative website

ViginPeachy I have personally made reference to the niceness on another thread this evening.

I think it's important to mention from time to time.

Oh yes- the niceness abounds- as Trinity has said, MN is like my 2nd family

YANBU - some people seem unable to distinguish between the "telling it like it is" with a large dollop of common sense and releasing their own personal anger in a gush of vitriolic tpying.

Personally I just feel sorry for the rude ones. I saw it on another forum... kept an eye on their posts and it transpired the 2 main offenders (much smaller board obv.!) were both having terrible marriage problems. QED all the name changers on Relationships who don't want to be recognised/have their bubble publicly burst!

It's usually just people throwing their toys out of the pram because it's so much easier for someone who is hurt to be nasty on a messageboard to a stranger than to sit down with their family and discuss what's making them sad.

Ski I think thats an important point,once or twice i've been on the receiving end of someone i'veseen elsewhere has a few concerns.

And i've done it myself (though I always apologise and to be fair, me being harsh is(possibly sadly) me being average. Usually.

But there are people whose name you spot and think of FFS not again. And whilst i and many otehrs wil ahve developed immunity there is, on MN, someone new every time willing to be hurt- and quite often they came here in the first aplce becuase they were vulnerable.

Which is where the problems lie.

In all absolutetruth I think MN is ready for moderation-lite; not someone actually in all threads but who is there 24/7 sat on the ! key ready to intervene, not just for deletions but to pull peopleaside and say hey- toomuch,calm it down, or are you OK to someone hgetting a bashing.

It won't happen becuase I think peoplesee moderator and think fluffly site, there is a mid level though. It would also cost obviously (haing peopleready at 3am does) and as such its probably too much to ask.

Aibu was created for this very reason. Before it kicked off , in sleep, relationships, whatever.
Like others have said, it depends where you choose to start a thread.

what about the nice bits. Trinity rhino ? or what about when misdee's peter ?
we forget to mention all the nice bits of MN.

I like that we self-moderate. I know there's the odd thing that gets through, a lot of it is about personal perspective, but in the majority we're pretty good.

I do sometimes think AIBU should come with more of a warning. It really is gloves off stuff on there sometimes.

I was hit by a troll last weekend JustAbout, I was OK but if I remember what it was like maybe a year ago post-DX it could have been really harmful. Which is what worries me, certainly another parent was hurt in the time between the post being reported and being actioned (in fairness it was a late thread- soMN surely asleep LOL).

We do selfmod, but there is somuch media attention on MN we will also surely attract our fair share of nutters trolls,and that could be a concern.

It's great that MN is what it is now, but a percentage of those attracted will be horrid,and a percentage vulnerable which rather ups the chances that we end up with a disaster eventually.

And the kind side of MN is so important- I do wonder if the otehr side will threaten that; IIRC the santa thing was vullnerable this year as a result of past horrors. That's sad.

I understand what you're saying VirginPeachy but even with moderation things still get through... MN forwarded a CAT to me just last week that they really shouldn't have (it turns out they hadn't read the whole thing) and it was pretty horrid at the time - because my email is RL IYSWIM - but as Skihorse said it was someone having a tough time who I had hit a nerve with... albeit unintentionally.

I think we've got the best compromise at the moment. I'd like to think when a trolling event happens there's support for those who need it. We may be a nest of vipers, but we also look after our own don't we?

Yes we do, but I am not sure how many newbies would get heklp- or, perhaps crucially, what wider effects are. theres a thread atm how long did you read MN for before you posted- do we know what effects can be on people out there not posting?

Not entirely sure what an be done mind,just a worry I have

I think we can only deal with what we can see. Otherwise we could drive ourselves mad. And there are some who would argue that we're not the only site out there...

Though I do agree with you that we're right to worry about people who might be vulnerable or need help.