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AIBU?

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Original poster

to want to kill my mother .........................

84 replies

mosschops30 · 01/12/2009 12:25

am sitting here now crying ds is 5 days old and yesterday we decided on his name, txt everyone and of course everyone txt back apart from my mum and i was a bit
this morning she sent flowers and teddy, no rference to name just 'baby boy'
so i called to say thanks and she said 'hmm unusual name' and i said 'i was wondering when you'd txt' and she said 'i felt i needed time to get used to it'.

Im so upset, some of you may know from previous threads how demandingand selfish she is, yesterday she rung me to ask advice on buying a winter coat for herself and now this, im sobbing to dh as i type. Along with comments like 'ive never heard anyone call their little boy that' and 'i'll just keep saying it to myself to get used to it'

OP posts:
MintyCandyCane · 01/12/2009 14:34

Many congrats Noah is a lovely name.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 01/12/2009 14:41

mn is great when you feel like dying and cry the rain . have laughed a lot at some of these posts especially the idea of a 'noah's granny' badge for her coat rofl

glad its not just me who has shcoking mother, i hope we dont all turn out like that

OP posts:
IckleJess · 01/12/2009 14:55

Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your new son Mosschops

Noah is a lovely name, I don't understand people commenting on others name choices tbh - if I didn't particularly like someone's choice there is no way I would say so! It's just so rude! You just need to ignore her and her comments.

As for your mother asking for your opinion on her winter coat, my dad rang me when my DD was 2 days old and proceeded to tell me how tired he was due to his neighbours waking him up at 5.30am that morning. I meanwhile had had roughly 2 hours sleep, in 10 minute snatches, as I'd been up breastfeeding all night.

Some people just have no tact but don't let them hurt you - concentrate on your gorgeous new bundle and your recovery.

groundhogs · 01/12/2009 14:57

Congratulations OP!

Noah is definately one of my favourite names.

Don't let anyone interfere or ruin your time with your new DS. If they do? phone off the hook, don't answer door. Stuff 'em, no-body is more important than your little family unit right now.

PacificMistletoeAndNoWine · 01/12/2009 16:34

Oh, I am under no illusions: give them 20/30 years and no doubt my DSs will moan about how I ruined their lives ...

I dare you to get the badge for her coat...

robie · 01/12/2009 20:42

Thats a terrible thing for a mother to say to her daughter 5 days after giving birth especially when you had such a hard time. Is she jealous because she isn't the centre of attention? Even if you had called him Domestos she is out of line saying what she did. Also has she not read the Bible?

MamaG · 03/12/2009 07:34

I'll give her a sharp nip if I see her mossy. Iparticularly like the "hmm interesting coat...." comment, think you should def use it.

I LOVE the name Noah, btw

MamaLazarou · 03/12/2009 07:39

Congratulations, Mosschops. Don't take any of your mum's unkind comments on board - she clearly has her own issues to deal with, so just let her. Get on with enjoying your wonderful new creation and be nice to yourself. Sending you big hugs XX

theressomethingaboutmarie · 03/12/2009 08:01

your mum is being an idiot. Your son's name is just delightful. Tell her to mind her own business and leave you to be a parent. It's so out of order the way that some people give new parents a hard time in the first few weeks/months; it's hard enough adjusting to everything so you should properly supported and given plenty of love.

Enjoy your son.

Lizzylou · 03/12/2009 08:04

Mosschops, Noah James is not a wierd name, but it is wonderful.

Definitely get the Noah's Granny badge for her coat.

My Dad was a bit about DS1's name and MIL still won't use the long version of DS2's name, (calls him Ben not Benedict in cards etc, DH thinks it's because she can't spell it ).

Just ignore your Mother and concentrate on your lovely family, you don't need the negativity. Though a little bitchy comment about her coat is perfectly acceptable, I think

AmazingBouncingFerret · 03/12/2009 08:19

Congratulations on the birth.
What a lovely name.

My own mother whilst not the most tactful of people has never said anything about name choices so im lucky there. My Grandmother on the other hand is awful. My DS apparantly has a dogs name. His name is Jake, thankfully at almost 3 she has stopped trying to call him Jack. She was absolutely astounded by my cousins baby's name, Erin. Even now she asks over and over again what her name is and then pulls faces and turns to little Erin and goes "ahhh its a shame"

happystory · 03/12/2009 08:23

It's a beautiful name. Why do people think it's acceptable to comment on our special choices like this?
We had a few choices in mind when dd came along. My mother obviously preferred one of them because before we'd definitely decided, my cousin (on mum's side) sent a card congratulating us on the safe arrival of H.....
When I challenged her she said 'Well I've told everyone now.'

That's ok then....

Enjoy your lovely boy x

cory · 03/12/2009 08:41

I'm disappointed in you, Mosschops! I scrolled down expecting to find some really seriously weird and whacky name- and there's nothing at all odd about Noah James. They're just perfectly sensible lovely names. Congratulations on his arrival!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/12/2009 09:09

Mosschops,

Congratulations to you on the arrival of baby Noah James. I think they are both lovely names.

Mosschops - your Mum is a toxic old bag of a parent (I base this also on previous postings you have made about her) who will never be happy in her own self as long as she lives. You are NOT responsible for this woman's happiness and you are also not her verbal punchbag. Do not act as such.

You would not put up with such treatment from a friend, your Mother should be no different in that regard.

macdoodle · 03/12/2009 09:27

Lovely name She sounds like a loon!!
Do you mind if I steal your name for my Dsis she is due in March, I love it

roulade · 03/12/2009 10:06

Beautiful name!

sockmonkey · 03/12/2009 10:48

Mosschops, congrats on birth of your DS.
I have a Noah... do you want me to go over to your Mum's and kick her in the shins??
It's a fantastic name.
If you have another what about Nebuchadrezzar, it means "tears and groans of judgment" Lets see how she reacts to that one.

Lemonylemon · 03/12/2009 12:15

Gah, ignore your Mum. It's a lovely name....

Stigaloid · 03/12/2009 12:23

Aww big hugs - i am 2 weeks off having a baby girl and we can't decide on names, or even a short list, but my favourite so far is Harriet, Hattie for short. Mention it to mum, who's response was: 'No. i don't like Harriet.'

Well tough mum - this is my baby and i get to name her. how blooming rude to turn around to someone (who is heavily pregnant or just had a baby) and tell them you don't like their choice of name.

What i don't get is i doubt she would be so rude or tactless with a stranger on the street (at least not to their face) but it seems to be fair game when it comes to daughters.

Grrrrrr

You are not alone Mosschops - Noah is a beautiful name and am sure will serve him well throughout his lifetime.

GetOrfMoiLand · 03/12/2009 12:26

MIL calls dd Sophie even thouigh she is called Sophia. She is 13.

Apparently Sophia is too exotic to remember. Nearly 14 years later.

juneybean · 03/12/2009 12:34

I can't believe she thinks Noah is so totally outthere that she has to get used to it! It's a gorgeous name.

JemL · 03/12/2009 12:48

It's a fab name; Thom Yorke from Radiohead's son is called Noah, so especially supercool

I can't believe how rude people are about babies names - especially deciding they will call them something else!

Just keep telling your mum how much everyone loves his name, and how it will be perfect at every stage of his life, she'll feel pretty silly if she thinks she is the only one who has a problem with it.

SpringyDingDongMerrilyOnHigh · 03/12/2009 12:55

I just looked for your birth announcement to be nosy at the name - I was expecting it to be a bit odd (even though she would still BVU!), but it's not at all! It's a beautiful, solid name. Sorry to hear that your birth was difficult, but congratulations on your little boy.

dmmum · 03/12/2009 12:57

Hi grandmothers are funny creatures sometimes. Give her some time. She is not being fair. My nan still refuses to call my son by the pronunciation we choose for Aaron, saying it does not exist and she will pronounce it properly. She went on to say how unfair we were to give the baby (who is 5 now) a name that no one will be able to say! We pronounce it Airon!

Just enjoy your lovely boy!

SnotBaby · 03/12/2009 13:34

Must tell you about my great aunt who visited about 5 days after son arrived. We had chosen a traditional and not at all out-there name for him (let's say William shall we) and the conversation went like this:

"So you're definitely calling him William, then?"

"Yes, we are"

"Can we not have David?"

It was a surprise partly due to the "we" bit, partly because David was never on our list, and partly because no-one else had ever mentioned David, no Davids in the family, etc.

That was poignant, rather than upsetting, though, as GA always wanted a son and I reckon that it must be the name she kept in her mind as the icing on a baby boy.

Just another reminder that being around a new baby brings up all kinds of feelings for people about their own cherished family wishes, hopes & regrets. They shouldn't allow theirs to impose on yours, though.

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