The term "Partner".

[marantha]

Am I being unreasonable to find the term "partner" intensely annoying when applied to those in a relationship? Particularly when they are actually married so it should be like, er, husband, wife or spouse instead?
Partner in what exactly? Ballroom dancing, bridge-playing. Isn't there something just a teensy-weeny bit smug about the term?

how have i missed this
i hate partner - and i loathe people self correcting when they refer to my 'man' as husband

i call him husband

what do folk who dont have a husband say?has to be partner

i dont have a husband

I fell out with my partner the man in my life over this! True, I don't live with him, we have our own lives and homes and ours is an unusual situation, but WTF am I to call him? Boyfriend? I'm 45 FGS!

I guess I should take his lead. He referred to me as his "lady" when jokingly saying how he might have to explain to the police that he'd crashed his car because I was distracting him. I still don't get it though... I'm no lady and he's not my man. He's neither "mine" nor just a man.

Still at a loss!

I keep on coming back to what do you do in formal situations. Imagine a social event with your boss. Or your boss's boss. "This is Fred, my......"

Fill in the blank with something that isn't jokey, twee, vulgar or ambiguous. And that isn't "partner"

what do you call a man who is not your husband,is 50 years old,sees me nearly every evening,comes for dinner,goes home to his own house(which he shares with 79yr old mother and isnt interested in sex at all(maybe twice a year,but not gay).Been seeing each other for 13 years.

i have called him my partner,boyfriend,other half......

Stands back and waits for comments!!!!!!!!!

I am married and get very cross when people insist on calling my husband my 'partner'.

There is somebody at work, who no matter how many times I sign an e-mail MRS will always reply/add to noticeboard MS

Why the hell can't people respect others belief and commitment to marriage????

lololol at 'spousal unit'!!!

YANBU I find it annoying. It's like everything, people don't want to admit they have a boyfriend because it sounds childlike. Partner is going to must be embarrassing for business partners now if they say we are partners then have to explain which kind. Could go on but no time.

Oh I hate the term partner - it makes me squirm though I've never been able to pinpoint why.

My OH get's upset if I call him 'boyfriend' - he prefers partner. I have said my 'daughters father' but it sounds like we are estranged. If he doesn't want to be my BF the 'put a ring on it' I say.

Until then its either BF or partner depending on how I'm feeling/situation.

BTW RainRaingoaway I'm a kiwi & couldn't give 2 hoots if someone thinks I'm Australian - I can't tell the difference myself half the time

I haven't read all the posts but am struck by the fact that no-one has mentioned the term "de facto". I have a feeling it's a term that isn't used in the UK much (it is used quite commonly in NZ and, I think, Australia).

As in "my de facto husband"?

But I don't want a husband . I don't want to be a wife .

why, no, as in "de facto partner"

But isn't calling your partner your "de facto partner" tautology?

And I agree, I don't want a husband - de facto or actual. And I don't want to be a wife - ditto!

"This is Tiddles, my de facto cat" makes no sense, surely.

"This is Rover, my de facto cat" does, but doesn't seem to solve the problem!

am explaining badly - you just use "de facto" by itself.

although the Australian legislation does refer to "de facto partner". Interestingly in some states the term includes gay partners, and in some it doesn't .

wikipedia suggests the catchy word "dompart".

wikipedia

seeker, so if you're not married you could say 'This is my de facto husband'. Sounds less like someone you play tennis with than 'partner', but no doubt you'd get non-comprehending looks and a 'What?'

I like Tiddles the de facto dog. Some cats are like that!

But to the OP - I hate 'partner' too. But am resigned to it. Until 'de facto' catches on

I find it mildly irritating, but I think it is here to stay so I just let it flow over me. People would be equally irritated if it was assumed they were married when they weren't. Life is too short to find out everyone's life history and preferences before you speak to them!

But he ISN"T my de facto husband. if I wanted a husband, de facto or otherwise, I would get married. I am consciously and deliberately and positively not married. So "de facto" is no use to me.

Or to Dobbin, the de facto ostrich.

I agree about de facto dogs, by the way. I had a fab Burmese cat like that. Came for walks, fetched stuff, the lot!

seeker i am with you and bonsoir

i do not want to be a wife

i dont want him to be my husband

20 years of him in my life - i do call him it though

Yeah, "de facto" is probably used in places like New Zealand, after 2 years (2 short years!) if you live with someone over there you are considered married to them by default.
Absolutely ridiculous.
I think the government would love to go down this route over here- good for them to treat people as units and not individuals in certain aspects.
I think I have finally worked out why I detest "Partner".
It is usually used by smug people whose relationship is so-so perfect that they don't need that "piece of paper". Oh no, why on earth would such people need to be married THEIR relationships will never break down.

I also associate it with patronising left-wing social workers who do not want to deem one "Lifestyle choice" as better than the other (which is, of course, nonsense) so young mothers who may be being exploited by some casual boyfriend who has set out to take advantage of her vulnerability, is always a "partner" and not a "boyfriend" as that would be judgemental and, as we all know, to pass judgement in this country is wrong!
Of course, the young mum may have some of her benefits cut- because of this bigging up of a casual boyfriend to a "partnership" status- and children usually suffer as a result. So Ms Social Worker, you've probably done more harm than good, but there you go.
Mustn't be judgemental, now.
Yes, maybe as someone who is angry with the prospect of cohabitation law- which essentially means that two consenting adults will not be able live together outside of marriage anymore without state interference
( Government Cohabitee Inspector: Yes I know you are a good honest taxpayer who obeys the law of the of the land but, we really must ask you, how many times a week did you have sex with your ex-cohabiteee? Was it a stable relationship?") because of the insistence of people to have children outside of legal wedlock.
Open question to some cohabitees out there: you've got three children, a mortgage, a hamster called Mike. You wash his dirty socks and worry that he's having sex with his secretary. How the heck is that so different from formal marriage anyway?! Just tie the knot for heaven's sake!

Because of Ms so-and-so's UNcommitment to marriage ALL cohabitees may now have to face this cohabitation law bollocks.
take me back to 1974...