Am I being a miserable moo ?

[MillyMollyMoo]

I'm 12 weeks pregnant, have been very sick and tired, DH has done an awful lot for me over the past few weeks whilst studying for an MBA and trying to find work as he was made redundant last November.

So we have very limited savings left, about £3k and obviously he gets JSA which has been paying the bills but it's dwindling.

Next issue is that DH wasn't particularly happy about this new baby, but one of his concerns was that we as a couple don't do much together anymore.

So whilst looking through his phone today for a number (he would do the same that really isn't an issue) I discover he has planned a night out with his fellow MBA students next Friday for a pizza - fine won't break the bank - but how is he getting home - taxi ?? £40 or is he staying out all night

I was invited on a mums night out with the school mums and had basically decided I couldn't afford it as I'd have to pay for a taxi or parking plus the meal and I figured that any spare cash we had should be going towards Christmas presents for the kids or at best we should have a night out together.

What do you think ?

On the strength of my own experience I too would assume that he's cheating on you. That being the case, your next move is to decide whether the marriage is worth fighting for, whether its worth putting up with the affair/confronting your DH for the sake of security and material goods or whether you are unable to live with a man who cheats on you. Only you can be the judge of that.

Sorry, MMM - I have to agree that it sounds remarkably like he is cheating on you, or soon will be. The sings are there, you can feel something is wrong, he's turning your accusations and fears back onto you to make you feel like an idiot for questioning him (a very bad sign ime) and the chances of him actually staying in a service station (no doubt his excuse for leaving his phone switched off) are next to none.

I have been in a similar situation and it's actually quite easy to convince yourself that he's telling the truth, or that there is a good reason why he's doing this, but all the time your gut is shouting at you that it's quite simple, he's CHEATING - listen to your gut.

And then decide what you want to do about it.

No, I don't believe him. But even if it was true, it's still a terrible situation. Staying away overnight in a service station because he doesn't want to tell you he's going out? And this is supposed to be the version of the story that will be OK with you??

I strongly suspect it's a lie anyway. He is drip-feeding you information only when he is caught out and has no choice. Strong signal for lying.

Sorry

Ithink he is lying too.
I can't see it getting any better as your pregnancy goes on.
It will probably get worse when a new baby arrives and he will feel more of a desire/feel even justified to cheat.

Sorry but if I were you I would (as calmly as possible) have it out with him and lay it on the line.

Don't accept any more excuses. Tell him what you want (ie the cheating to stop) and give him an ultimatum, if you don't he will see it as a green light to carry on behaving as he pleases.

Well I've asked that he goes to Uni and comes straight home no coffees or socialising or meeting up and we'll see how that goes I guess. What im really mad about is that he told these people he'd lied to mr in order to go out.

He swears on me and the kids lives he isn't seeing anyone and unless I find something to catch him out with he's going to stick to his story. I ended up in a and e last night bleeding so he's not a priority for now I guess. At the end of the day he's unemployed 250,000 in debt with 4 kids if somebody else wants him and his baggage that badly they are almost welcome to him.

Hope everything is ok with the baby MMM.

the baby ok ?