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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get the hump with the creche taking DD's teething beads off??

87 replies

RGPargy · 29/11/2009 22:27

DD is almost 2 years old.

I'm not sure whether or not i should be peed off! I took DD to the creche at the gym today. I dont normally take her on a Sunday but she goes there regularly once or twice a week and DP was working so i didn't have much choice. Anyway, when i signed her in, the lad and girl that were on reception are normally there during the week so i knew who they were etc. But when i picked her up, there was this woman in there who i haven't seen before who said to me "Oh we took her necklace off because it's quite close - just while she's playing......" I pointed out to the woman that it was an amber teething necklace and that DD wears it 24/7 so is used to wearing it. I then made sure i put it straight back on her while i was there, in front of the woman. She then went on to tell me how good she is with her speech and how well she knows her colours and shapes etc etc (like i didn't know that!!). But anyway, the more i thought about it, the more peed off i was at her taking her necklace off. AIBU to get the hump about it or am i just being sensitive about it??

It's the first time i've EVER had anyone say anything about it, to the extent where they have actually taken it off!! GGRRR!!

So, AIBU??

OP posts:
wilkos · 29/11/2009 22:29

soooo...if your dd got the necklace wrapped around her neck while playing it has a safety catch and would break open would it?

because if not necklaces on toddlers are lunacy imho

Sidge · 29/11/2009 22:32

YABU.

They wouldn't have known it was a teething necklace and would probably have seen it as a safety issue in a creche. Better to be safe than sorry.

Does it have a safety clasp?

corriefan · 29/11/2009 22:33

YABU. She took the initiative in removing something she regarded as potentially dangerous from around a toddler's neck and then complimented her. Why on earth would you be so wound up about that?

Original poster
RGPargy · 29/11/2009 22:34

Yes it has a safety clasp that is designed to pop open when pulled. Each bead is also individually tied off so that you dont get loads of beads going everywhere, should the necklace break. The necklace is also short, not a dangly one so no chance of it being caught in anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
RGPargy · 29/11/2009 22:35

corriefan - i dont know, it just wound me up (re the necklace) that perhaps she would think me irresponsible to have an ordinary necklace around her neck and that i would put her in danger in any way. Does that make sense?

OP posts:
RockBird · 29/11/2009 22:36

YABU. Put yourself in their position. They absolutely cannot take any chances with the sort of thing and I would support that decision 100%. I am constantly drumming it into DD that she does not put anything round her neck. Your DD is pretty much the same age as mine IIRC and I wouldn't trust them, even if she is supposedly used to it.

Sorry.

Katymac · 29/11/2009 22:37

I've see a toddlers nail get caught in another child's sock......nothing is so tight it can't get caught

TheFallenMadonna · 29/11/2009 22:37

Of course you're being unreasonable. She didn't remove it because she thought it was daft or anything. She took it off because she thought it might be safer. And then she said lovely things about your child. And you're about that too. You are being daft.

Original poster
RGPargy · 29/11/2009 22:40

Sorry, with regard to her complimenting my DD, i should have put "" after my comment "(like i didn't know that)". I was very pleased that she was so complimentary.

Hmmmm i think you are right. I am probably being very unreasonable about getting the hump. I think perhaps i was embarrassed???

OP posts:
wilkos · 29/11/2009 22:43

sorry i still think YABU, the woman who took it off wouldnt have known it was "safe" for her to wear so made a decision that was based purely on the safety and welfare of your child - to remove it.

I just hope you didnt make this poor woman feel bad as she obviously thought she was doing the right thing

and tbh if you are worried that people might think you are irresponsible for putting a necklace round your babies neck then don't have her wear one. its simple

wickedwitchofwaterloo · 29/11/2009 22:43

YABU I'm afraid - as a nanny, I have to say that I would have erred on the side of caution and taken the necklace off, and she did say that she only took it off while she was playing .
It only takes one incident for something that is seemingly harmless to cause an accident so I think you should be pretty grateful she was so on the ball frankly.

also, YABVU to be annoyed that she was complimenting your DD I think its lovely that your DD felt comfortable enough to impress this lady with her knowledge and even nicer that this lady felt the need to tell you!

lilolilmanchester · 29/11/2009 22:43

YABVVU..... was just starting to type why YABU but then thought if you haven't got it yourself by now, there's nothing I can write that'll make a difference.

corriefan · 29/11/2009 22:44

Yes I do understand but she was just being extra-cautious and it sounds like she told you what she did in a non-critical way to try and avoid you reacting the way you have. I've never seen the necklace you're talking about, she probably just wasn't familiar with them.

MollieO · 29/11/2009 22:44

Did you explain to the nursery what the necklace was for and did you discuss with them about your dd wearing it at nursery? If yes then yanbu if no then obviously you are.

brockleybelle · 29/11/2009 22:44

I had never heard of amber teething beads until a little while ago. Quite understandable staff member thought it was a decorative necklace and hence saw it as a choking risk. Good to know you had a vigilant woman looking after your daughter. Why are you so wound up that they were taken off for an hour? Doesn't make sense. And of course you knew that your daughter knew her shapes etc. I too know that my young ds can do lots of animal sounds, but I would be proud if someone complimented him on it.

YABU.

anothermum92 · 29/11/2009 22:45

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SixtyFootDoll · 29/11/2009 22:47

YABU
and patronising to the staff

wilkos · 29/11/2009 22:48

sorry x posts

corriefan · 29/11/2009 22:49

And I do think it's embarrassment, it's made you feel unsure about whether you've done something right which is not a nice feeling, and I suppose this woman made you feel like that so you want to blame her but it's noone's fault, just a situation.

wickedwitchofwaterloo · 29/11/2009 22:50

ooh, sorry for saying YABVU about the complimenting DD - I didn't see the post where you explained you were (obviously!) pleased

but yeah, still standing by my previous statement. lol

RumourOfAHurricane · 29/11/2009 22:52

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bruffin · 29/11/2009 23:01

yabu, amber teething beads are silly idea in the first place

groundhogs · 29/11/2009 23:04

I have to say that today is the first time i'd ever heard of a teething necklace... doesn't sound like anything I'd ever want to buy/have round my DC neck.

mayorquimby · 29/11/2009 23:07

"I then made sure i put it straight back on her while i was there, in front of the woman."

ooh that showed her.

"She then went on to tell me how good she is with her speech and how well she knows her colours and shapes etc etc (like i didn't know that!!)."

whoah whoah whoah,hold on here for just a second,this BITCH had the cheek to make conversation with you about your child. what a cow.

in case you haven't grasped it yet,yabu and sound petty and unpleasant.

lockets · 29/11/2009 23:17

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