12 year old wearing 3 inch stilettos?

[BigMomma3]

DD went shopping with her friend yesterday and bought some flourescent pink stilettos (cost 4 quid in Primark) and she is over the moon with them and insisted on wearing them to a birthday party tonight.

As soon as I saw them, I said she could take them back to the shop cos they are too old (and tacky) for her but DH said they were fine and to let her wear what she wants to wear as long as it's not indecent.

So she's gone to a 13th birthday party in skin tight black leggings, a black sparkly tight top with slits in the arms and bright pink stilettos and she looks a lot older than her years!! AIBU in worrying what her friends parents will think of us??

I too don't think they're appropriate - if it was me I would be pretending she was in fancy dress (from Grease)

haha.....stand and wait for the backlash and raise eyebrows momma!

Well, if she brings home an interested 18 year old in the next few months your OH might come to his senses.
Interesting that his was the final word, I'd care less about the friend's parents and more about the effect on your daughter's feet, spine and ability to attract more attention than she might be up to handling if she's around 12.
Yes, I know it's only a birthday party but she'll want to wear that outfit in the future. With slap.

but can you imagine how happy she is to have them!

at bear feet!

I think it's totally inappropriate tbh, unless for fancy dress - and I would have made her take them back.

My 11 year old daughter has asked for "small heels" for Christmas- I am the least "strict" parent I have ever known re things like this but even I was struggling to find shoes that other mums might be approving of. Then I got a grip, realised my daughter wasn't going to corrupt others or join a travelling brothel by wearing shoes others deemed innappropriate and bought her some she really, really wants. Fuck em all, OP, and think how happy your daughter is to wear what she damn well wants without peer pressure etc.

TBH her outfit would have looked lovely and fashionable with flat pumps but the shoes completely changed the tone!! Not to mention the fact that as she is already 5ft 6in she is taller than me in them (5ft 8).

I was prepared to let her have them to founce about the house in and delight in the clip clop they made on the wooden floor and did start an argument with her about it but apparently all the other girls were going to be wearing heels .

We have been having a lot of rows lately about her rolling her school skirt up and plastering her eyelashes with mascara so DH is of the opinion that the more attention she gets about it, the more she will do it to piss us off, so we should just leave it .

Hopefully her feet will be killing her (she does like her comfort) and she'll realise I was right otherwise I may accidently break the heel while trying them on when she is at school (am a bit hefty myself!)so she can't wear them to another party she's going to next week .

She knows Primark stuff does'nt last long after all!!

Wearing them to a party is surely not as bad as sneaking them into her schoolbag when youre not looking (we all did it!).As for other mums let them parent their own children. Having just got my own pfb through the hell of secondary school without too many dramas my only advice is save your stregnth for the major issues of curfews, boys & friends who are always allowed to do everything because shoes are only the beginning.

meant 'flounce' not 'founce' of course!

While part of me thinks it's not appropriate, the other part of me remembers what I was wearing at 13

Or 12, seeing as I can't type

Of course a girl of that age shouldn't wear 3" heels or look much older than she is.You know it really ,that's probably why you want other people to say it's alright.Well it's not alright.She is a child and should not be allowed to dress herself up in this way and go out in public.Of course they want these things,girls always want to be older(up to a point)and copy "grown-ups".Trouble is grown-ups don't always act grown up.childre need protecting,especially girls,often from themselves.Parents must have the sense to say "no".

If you make things forbidden then you ultimately make them more attractive. A little perspective is invaluable with teenage girls. Its not a slippery slope from a pair of primani heels to pole dancing,its playing dress up.

She is 12, so not even a teenager yet. Not good for her feet and not good to go out looking 'older' imho.

mamamia--well actually it could be.The clothes that children are allowed to wear affects their perception of themselves,what they can get away with and how they feel they can act.It gives them a feeling of confidence beyond their ability.It makes them too bold for their own good.

So encouraging confidence whilst enforcing boundaries is a bad thing? If said shoes were teamed with hotpants & a boob tube then id be the first to say it was totally inappropriate. 12 now is a lot older than 12 was 20 years ago,horribly sad but true. The important thing is to have limits on things that really matter.

"It makes them too bold for their own good."

It doesn't turn every girl into a porn star, I wore some really OTT stuff (some of which vanished, and my mum denied knowing about )

I never ended up being promiscuous or anything else like that. Ithink the best course would be talking to her about how others may perceive it rather than banning it outright.

Like I said, some of my most provocative stuff vanished, didn't stop me adapting clothes etc.

I have a similar problem, DP has a girl from his previous marriage and we have them every other weekend, anyway her mother had packed her bag with the girls favourite red shoes, which we thought were normal slip on pump things but no we pulled them out of the bag and found they had a 4 inch heel to them

It wouldn't be so bad but the girl is 8 years old..........do you think i was BU when I threw the things in the bin? The mother went mad

When I was 12 I also owned a pair of bright pink stiletto shoes. I thought I was the bees knees in them. I cringe when I think of it now! I remember my mum didn't like them but as I'd paid for them with my own money (£6 iirc - the damn things have actually got cheaper since 1986!) she let me keep them. I did actually attract some inappropriate attention because I was looking and dressing older than I was. And I must admit, I wasn't really streetwise enough to handle that attention very well.

I think it depends on your DD. Is she sensible? Is she aware of how men might see her and know how to deal with it? What are her friends like - will they look out for her if some dodgy bloke starts trying it on?

I think these are the questions you should be concerning yourself with, rather than what the other mothers will think.

I totally disagree with it. Has any one noticed girls are looking older, younger and younger??? Do you know why that is? Mums say things like 'oh what can you do about it?' or 'or let her do what she wants'

and we all go around screaming about teens having sex younger......

Harsh but true.

oh and OP YABU for stopping it because of wondering what friends will think.... YANBU for not been happy about it.