12 year old wearing 3 inch stilettos?

[BigMomma3]

DD went shopping with her friend yesterday and bought some flourescent pink stilettos (cost 4 quid in Primark) and she is over the moon with them and insisted on wearing them to a birthday party tonight.

As soon as I saw them, I said she could take them back to the shop cos they are too old (and tacky) for her but DH said they were fine and to let her wear what she wants to wear as long as it's not indecent.

So she's gone to a 13th birthday party in skin tight black leggings, a black sparkly tight top with slits in the arms and bright pink stilettos and she looks a lot older than her years!! AIBU in worrying what her friends parents will think of us??

Sounds awful, the parents will judge you but if your dd is in such a rush to be a woman what else does she think she should do?

I'd have made her walk to the party in them. Hopefully, they have either broken or cucified her feet so much that she wouldn't want to wear them again

{how can you be ''technically a teenager''?}

posie, wearing pink stilettos is absolutely NOT what being a woman is about!!

I wore alot of High heels as did my friends at your dds age I got used to dealing with the attention and when I hit an age where I needed to be savvy I had learned.

Don't fight her on everything just pick and choose the battles that are important to you. If you really disagree with the shoes break them if not save your strength for other more important battles. For now at least you know what she is doing push to hard and she will get very clever at hiding things from you.

At 15 I had a pair of leather trousers I bought and my mum's friend asked wasn't she worried what I might get up to in them and my mum laughed and said no the lady asked why and my mum said because it takes 2 people to get them off. Best chastity belt ever my mam said and the best part I thought they were great .

If you're going out shopping for normal everyday clothes, then stilettos (pink or otherwise) are probably not OK at 12. They're impractical and terrible for your feet. But these are party shoes, for wearing to a party full of other 12-13 yos. I just don't see the problem with it and I think as slushy says, it's a case of choosing your battles. I like Apeth's suggestion
FWIW I couldn't give a stuff about another mother's opinion if she's the kind of weirdo who things stilettos = tweenage streetwalker. That'd be her problem, not mine (or my dc's).

Quite apart form the side issue ,that you felt overruled by your DH , are stilettos appropriate for a 12 year old child ? No not really . If i were you i would make her wear them everytime she left the house ,except for school , make her walk a good four feet behind you ,which she will be doing anyway ,due to crippling pain and everytime she so much as lets out a peep of distress ,explain that she wanted them and her father thinks she looks lovely in them ,probably even better if you can get your DH to be there too ,so people can look at him like a dirty old man .

Well thanks for all that!

Can I point out that DD went to a party (all girls) in these shoes, there is no way she would have been allowed to walk the streets in them. She was dropped off a few metres away from the house (and accompanied in)and walked a few metres back to the car in them (again accompanied).

As soon as I picked her up she said 'these stupid shoes are going in the bin as soon as I get home cos my feet are killing me' . So I am actually glad I listened to DH as if I had argued with her before she went out about wearing them, it would have been a waste of energy and totally pointless as she has now learned the lesson for herself (and has asked me to get her some new sparkly PUMPS for a party next weekend). Of course I know they were inappropriate but posted my OP as I thought maybe I was overreacting and other parents may have thought they were fine for party shoes. I do not envisage her bringing an 18 year old home or getting into a situ where she may have unwanted attention in the near future as she does'nt go anywhere on her own (except bday parties and the occasional trip into town while wearing wearing flat shoes of course)!!

Can I also point out that I am not normally overruled by DH but am newly pregnant and knackered and could'nt be bothered to argue with her so got DH to deal with her . Just to make it clear as I sound rather weak in my OP and that is deffo not the case!!

Hehe, sounds like it's all resolved then Hope she enjoyed her party, despite the shoes

Brilliant outcome.

Heehee.

Excellent

I love a story with a happy ending