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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to indulge my 3, nearly 4, year old with his 'comfort' bear?

98 replies

ChickandDuck · 25/11/2009 12:29

My DS1 has a bear that he takes to bed with him every night. He doesn't take it out anymore but will sometimes go and fetch him from his bed during the day if he's feeling a bit tired/unwell. Sometimes he's more attached and went through a stage of wanting to dress/fed his bear (just after I had DS2, quite sweet watching him 'BF' his bear).

He's just said that he thinks 'bear' needs some new clothes.

Would it be unreasonable for me to suggest to him that we go to town and buy 'bear' a new outfit for christmas (something from the bear factory, even though it's not a bear factory bear, or baby clothes from a charity shop) that he could give to 'bear' on Christmas Day. I ask because DP thinks he's getting to an age where he should be 'ditching' bear. I think he will eventually grow out of him in his own time? But then we are spending Christmas Day with my PIL so I worry that they might be a bit

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 25/11/2009 12:31

yanbu

newnamethistime · 25/11/2009 12:31

no way should he have to 'ditch' the bear yet.
My son is 5 and still loves his 'mouse', that has to come everywhere (sometimes he can be left in the car).
yanbu

Tillyscoutsmum · 25/11/2009 12:32

My DSD still has a special bear (Panda) who she sleeps with and she'll be 6 in a couple of weeks. We do now encourage her to leave him on her bed during the day (even though she still asks for him sometimes) but at your DS's age - I don't really think its an issue

ajandjjmum · 25/11/2009 12:33

My son is 17 - loves his rugby and the odd night out with his friends - and still loves his Ted to bits. OK, he may not cuddle it to sleep now, but it's always around in his room.

ShowOfHands · 25/11/2009 12:33

Oh hurrah for letting a child be a child. He probably won't still want to carry it round with him when he's 15 (although dh still had his bear on his window sill when we met, he was 17 and he's given it to dd now!).

Vivia · 25/11/2009 12:34

I'm no celeb-watcher, but I have noticed various very sweet photos of the Beckham's child Romeo with one particular bear. The child is seven. There is no age to give up a beloved comfort and friend! You sound like a very sweet mum. YANBU!

HuwEdwards · 25/11/2009 12:34

God no, my 7yo has Tigger. Tigger sleeps with her every night and is top of the list when it comes to packing for holidays.

He is part of the family!

IdrisTheDragon · 25/11/2009 12:35

I think it's a great idea for bear to get more clothes

DS is 6 and his bear is an important member of the family. As are DD's bears (she is 4).

I got clothes made for DS's bear when he was 4 by a person somewhere in Norfolk I think who can manlke clothes to order. Bear still has his own stocking at Christmas

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 25/11/2009 12:35

My 12 year old still sleeps with her teddy. I think an outfit is a lovely idea.

TheCrackFox · 25/11/2009 12:35

It is exactly the sad sorry behaviour that I would do.

DS2 (4yrs) has a favourite bear. I am such a saddo that I even had a fake passport made up for it for when we recently went on holiday.

Don't ditch the bear.

Original poster
ChickandDuck · 25/11/2009 12:35

Ok, so how about the christmas present idea? Now I've read it back it's does sound a bit silly Maybe we should just go and pick something but not give it as a christmas present? But then I think he'd be made up about wrapping it up for his bear.

OP posts:
Morloth · 25/11/2009 12:37

DS is 5 and has "Puppy" (a manky little thing) that he still carries around the house with him and takes to bed. He adores Puppy. But Puppy must never ever leave the house, never. We lost him once, it was horrible.

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 25/11/2009 12:37

I am 34 yr old hate pink and don't have a bed full of teddy bears, however my old stuffed monkey sits on top of the wardrobe and watches over me. There is nothing wrong with having a "comforter" whatever age you are....

PerArduaAdNauseum · 25/11/2009 12:37

YANBU. He'll grow out of it in time, it's just a lovely thing when they have something of their own to look after

We actually have a 'travelling' stuffy with his own treasure chest. It was my Genius Brain Wave when DS was small and I was thinking about museum gift shops and the like - so now when we go to a National Trust place or wherever, we get something tiny (a badge, a magnet etc) as a souvenir for the stuffy, and that diverts DS from the the larger expensive crap that should be christmas/birthday presents instead. Nearly 6 years and it's still working

mice · 25/11/2009 12:37

YANBU - I still take my very favourite (very straggly now!) cuddly toy to bed every night - it comes on every holiday - and is one of my most treasured possessions! I am 37 !!

emsyj · 25/11/2009 12:37

DH and I still have our childhood bears (well, in my case a dog, in DH's case a bear, a rabbit and a monkey) in our marital bedroom. Maybe this is abnormal?? I don't care anyway. A special bear has a special place in your life for ever, not til a certain age IMO.

Lizzylou · 25/11/2009 12:38

Aw no, buy the bear some clothes, that is really sweet!

DS1 sleeps with his favourite teddy every night and will be 6 in March, we struggle to find DS2's (4 in March) bed for all his "favourite" soft toys.

I think it is sweet, the day that my boys no longer want/need their teddies will be very sad.

Original poster
ChickandDuck · 25/11/2009 12:39

Aw I'm so pleased to hear about other 'bears' etc! I've always thought other mums have been a bit, I dunno, cats bum face when they see him with his tatty much loved bear.

I shall do it - stuff the PIL (which have much the same view as DP)

OP posts:
MadameCastafiore · 25/11/2009 12:39

He needs PJs so he cannot leave the house!

Why would he need proper day clothes if he is just a bedtime bear?

Morloth · 25/11/2009 12:41

Yes, stuff them.

I would totally do it. It is really nice and sweet and just a fun thing to do.

pollydianasmummy · 25/11/2009 12:44

Please please let him keep his bear - he sounds so sweet. Brought a tear to my eye that he might have it ditched.

LisaD1 · 25/11/2009 12:44

No way,you can't take bear away!

My DD1 still has her rabbit that was bought for her as a baby (she's almost 10), DD2 has her teddy (butr she's only 2) and she loves him to bits and my niece who is a very trendy 13 year old still sleeps with the cuddly cat I bought her when she was a few months old! Their car (my nieces dad) caught fire on the M25 last year and she MADE him rescue the cat! (was in a bag in the boot as they were on their way on holiday), good luck to anyone who wants to take that cat away!

VengefulKitty · 25/11/2009 12:45

Oh go for it!

DS (5) was never interested in teddies until about a year ago. We rediscovered a soft monkey that I told him was the very first thing that he ever wanted/asked for in a shop and I had got it for him.

Now he carries it round the house with him and has to make sure it goes to bed with him every night.

YANBU

Original poster
ChickandDuck · 25/11/2009 12:45

MC - He's been poorly so bear hasn't really left his side for last few days, and he sometimes takes him for picnics under the table in the woods.

OP posts:
garciasangria · 25/11/2009 12:45

ynabu at all! My 5yr old ds is real boys boy...dinsosaurs, cars, bugs etc, but he has a 'huggy' (little flat comforter my mum bought him from Boots when he was born), and simply can't sleep without it. No harm in it at all.

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