to indulge my 3, nearly 4, year old with his 'comfort' bear?

[ChickandDuck]

My DS1 has a bear that he takes to bed with him every night. He doesn't take it out anymore but will sometimes go and fetch him from his bed during the day if he's feeling a bit tired/unwell. Sometimes he's more attached and went through a stage of wanting to dress/fed his bear (just after I had DS2, quite sweet watching him 'BF' his bear).

He's just said that he thinks 'bear' needs some new clothes.

Would it be unreasonable for me to suggest to him that we go to town and buy 'bear' a new outfit for christmas (something from the bear factory, even though it's not a bear factory bear, or baby clothes from a charity shop) that he could give to 'bear' on Christmas Day. I ask because DP thinks he's getting to an age where he should be 'ditching' bear. I think he will eventually grow out of him in his own time? But then we are spending Christmas Day with my PIL so I worry that they might be a bit

Am sooo showing DP this thread!

We have 2 exact copies of 'Mo' (DD's much beloved cuddly eskimo). We bought a second one on ebay when she was a baby because she loved it so much we feared what would happen if it was lost!

It's a nice idea - I would go ahead. Dd has now inherited my much loved 'big head ted' that was my special (manky ) teddy. We had no money growing up, and I know he was bought for me as a small child from a second hand shop - but I LOVED him. I vividly remember when I was 5 we moved from England to Scotland and travelled on the train. I had Ted and a small suitcase (a la Paddington...) and left Ted on the train. My Dad SPRINTED up the platform as the train was pulling away shouting 'Nooooooooo' and manged to jump in to the train to retrive him. The guard stopped the train to let him off and I (in floods of tears) was reunited with Ted - Daddy the hero!

my almost 8 year old dd still has a cuddle cloth she's had since she was a baby, and still sleeps with it. ds is off school ill, and is snuggled up in bed right now with blankie and bunny. you indulge him all you want.

aw notyummy thats lovely

I still have my 3 cuddly toys from childhood - the boys have been given one of my teddies each, and the elephant they share

Both boys are obsessed with their blankets - for bed and sad times. We have two of each luckily so they can be washed/less obsessive about losing them.

DS1 is 3.5 and still shows no sign of giving it up. he takes it in his bag to nursery - and I can see it being in his bag at school in september too.....

'Joe Mouse' has been all over. DS1 (nearly 6) takes him to bed everynight and he stays in the bedroom unless ds1 is unwell or upset.

He has even been known to fly home special delivery from nannys as he has left him there twice

nooo, don't ditch the bear
your idea is lovely not silly at all
he is only 3, not too old for these things at all!

Aw he is just a child, don't make him give up his bear.
My ds has a rabbit, it goes everywhere. He loves his rabbit and it makes him feel good, so i'm happy with that!
Buying a present is a great idea, i bet your ds would love it.

I've still got two of my childhood bears and I'm 40. OK I don't take them to bed but they're in the bedroom
Has your DH been scarred by watching Brideshead Revisited & thinks your DS will turn into Sebastian carrying his Aloysius everywhere?

My ds is 12 and still has 'puppy' in his bed with him... I don't think he'd admit that to his friends though. I suspect most of his friends have a soft toy that they don't admit to!

I think hes too young to have bear taken away.
And in my opinion most men dont know what theyre talking about.

Im so glad there are others on here whos 'older' children still have their comforters.

My son is 8 still takes 'raggley' (a muslin cloth) and Raccy whos a racoon to bed.
Raccy has to go everywhere with him, although not school..

I am starting to feel however that the muslin must go, as I feel hes to old for this type of comforter.

I agree he's too young to have it taken away - in fact I don't think you should ever take them away. Most people stop cuddling them when they're ready, although I do still have my Fluffy in a drawer and I'm nearly 40.

We actually lost DS's bear on the beach in France over the summer. It was horrible - we were all upset (I still have visions of poor Tufty being washed out to sea) but finally managed to find a replacement on US e-bay. We told DS that Tufty had been on holiday in America and would come back as brown as a berry and all nice and clean as one of DH's friends had been looking after him. He's now much cherished back in the bosom of his family

blimey. he's 3! Why on earth should a 3 year old be expected to lose comfort things? Your partner is talking absolute tosh. Tell him to stop being so ridiculous and suggest he reads a book on child development!

DH still has his bear from when he was born and it still goes with him on business trips and holidays.

No, your DS is absolutely not too old for his bear and should be allowed to keep it.

Buying some clothes for a Christmas present is an excellent idea!

ds is 15 and still has 'blue bunny' and 'pudsy bear' they even go on holiday with us. blue bunny has had clothes and furniture made for him over the years he even had a parachute.

My boys love their cuddlies - they have beds full of them - and all have at least one favourite. They are very boyish boys - lots of outdoor and physical stuff - but the cuddly is often out there with them They are 8 and nearly 7 and show no signs of giving them up.

So fine - if he wants new clothes for bear (and it is within budget) then go for it.

My BIL recently had to have his cherished bunny returned from a hotel by special delivery. He's in his late 20s

On the other hand I am reminded of a story my ex told me about some mad upper class relations of his who sent their little girl to boarding school aged 4 (this was back in the 30s) and when she cried because she didn't want them to go, they took her teddy away

YANBU at all, your DS sounds like a sweetheart.

My DD1 has a special teddy that she sleeps with. Since the arrival of DD2 teddy has been very busy being washed in the baby bath, having his nappy changed, having a breastfeed from DD1's belly button and putting sleepsuits on a night. Teddy really feels one of the family and it's nice to know that DD1 has something that brings her enjoyable comfort.

Hooray for teds

This year dd (13) and ds (10) spent birthday money on build a bears. They play schools with them, read them stories....and long may it last.
Next year it could be crack and flicknives.

FleeBee - "having a breastfeed from DD1's belly button" I used to spy on my DS1 tucking his bear under his tshirt for 'some milk'. So cute.

Well it's done now without any consultation with DP, I've told DS1 we are off to the bear factory after nursery tomorrow to pick out some new clothes for bears christmas present. He's over the moon but now wants him to have shoes. socks, pants, pj's, hat... oh and he thinks he should give bear 'one of those buzz lightyear toys like on the tele'

DS has a manky old taggie that he loves (he is 4 and a half). Dh has been trying to get rid of it for about 3 years. It doesn't bother me. He likes it, it comforts him and he will give it up when he wants.

YANBU

We're now making bear a bed of his own.... what have I started here?! Any tips on bed making for bears greatly appriciated!!

Both the DCs have lots of teddies, and sometimes they take them out on trips etc. When DS was 3 he went to see a film with nursery, and I knew he might find the cinema trip a bit overwhelming so let him take a teddy for comfort - DH said DS woul be laughed at, but all the boys in his group ended up sharing cuddles with teddy! We've also dressed teddies, had picnics, quite often the favoured teddy joins is at breakfast etc.

As for a bed, get a box, put a cot/pram blanket in it.

sorted - luckily we have just had a christmas present delivered in exactly the right sized box!

Why not blind dp with science and call bear a 'transitional object' and explain in detail attachment theory, how children learn to self comfort and all the rest?

My ds is 8 and has several cuddly animals who frequently are able to explain to me what ds might not be able to say. And he loves them. IMHO, it is also teaching kids to care for things. I'm sure your ds will grow up to be a lovely kind and thoughtful boy having learned to care for his bear.