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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To claim a sexual fantasy I don't actually have just because I think DH is taking the piss with his?

99 replies

Maidithappen · 18/11/2009 13:53

Namechanger obviously. I nearly put this in relationships, then I realised I was asking AIBU so I thought here was better.

Back story: together 9 years, married 5. Have two small DCs. I work 2 days per week, DH works 4.

Ever since we have been together, I have done almost all of the housework except cooking the evening meal, which DH has always done. He doesn't mind (and so he bloody shouldn't as I do nearly everything else) and I think the main reason he does it is because he likes to eat earlier, say 7, whereas if I am cooking we're lucky to sit down at 9, what with putting the DCs to bed etc. But, as I say, it's not a problem, although MIL makes the odd dig, like they do.

DH occasionally puts a wash on, sometimes irons. What he hardly ever does, however, is the traditional "man" things. He will cut the lawn, that's about it. As for DIY, decorating, minor repairs, flat pack furniture . . . well either I do it or get someone in. This does irritate me a bit.

Right, back story done. We have been thinking about ways to liven up our sex life (which was good anyway but needed a touch of spice, we thought). I got the idea on here to do the thing where you both act out a fantasy for the other.

DH's was to come home from work and find me cooking dinner dressed as a sexy French Maid. Um . . . . . . so I did, and it was er . . . a great success.

So he has asked me to do it more often. I have done it five or six times now.

The thing is that the last couple of times I suddenly got the feeling that it's actually nothing to do with the outfit, or the sex, that actually he just wants his dinner cooked for him. Call it women's intuition if you like .

So, here's the AIBU - given that I don't really have any fantasy that I want to/could act out with DH, would it be unfair of me to say that my fantasy is to come home and find him in jeans, workman's boots, checked shirt and large tool,belt putting up some shelves or something similar?

I can see this all working out quite well but I feel guilty about being underhand, even though I think he may be himself be being a little less than honest.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 18/11/2009 15:52

My bush needs a bit of a trim too...

TheInvisibleManDidIt · 18/11/2009 15:53

HAHAHA

This is brilliant!

Going to tell DH tonight how hot it gets me to see a man load a washing machine and do the hoovering.

And I may just explode if I ever catch him cleaning the bathroom!!

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 18/11/2009 16:01

pmsl

Ths reminds me of the utensils thread. I must reread.

ABetaDad · 18/11/2009 16:27

Maidithappen - at "he just wants his dinner cooked for him". I am right with him on that one.

As DW has only cooked me one meal for me in 25 years and I do all the cleaning and gardening I am considering taking up the advice from Sidge and might start wearing a French Maid outfit myself.

I think I might even be able to pull this look off with a little practice.

JustAnotherManicMummy · 18/11/2009 16:38

I was all up for having a little chat with DH tonight about my housework erotic fantasies (purely for scientific research purposes of course ) until I clicked on ABetaDad's link.

That was a mistake.

Maidithappen · 18/11/2009 16:44

ROFL, ABetaDad, you know I had a funny feeling about what that picture was going to be.

I do wish he had been honest years ago and said he wanted me to do more cooking.

I feel a right twat doing all this "Oooh la la!" stuff, but have been gamely playing along. I even bought a feather duster (although I haven't used it). He certainly appreciated it all at the start, but now instead of saying "Phhwoarrr!" it's "Ooh that smells nice." [He means the dinner.]

OP posts:
groundhogs · 18/11/2009 16:48

funniest thread in AGES!

Thanks OP, think we all needed that...

Rollmops · 18/11/2009 16:50

Brilliant, tea on keyboard

Jujubean77 · 18/11/2009 16:52

I am loving this thread....

AboardtheAxiom · 18/11/2009 16:56

OP you have brightened my day

PercyPigPie · 18/11/2009 17:01

Great idea. If you don't mind half-put-up shelves all over the house!

megonthemoon · 18/11/2009 17:06

Brilliant OP! And even more genius to point out your own Freudian slip

I had a mc last week and this is the first time I have genuinely laughed since. So thank you Maidithappen!

4kidsandlovingit · 18/11/2009 17:23

I`m waiting for my other half to come home. I text him and told him I was reading stuff about fantasies on the internet. Lets see what he makes of this!! Dont think hes going to be up for ironing in leopard print thong though personally. Still I can wish!!

sockmonkey · 18/11/2009 17:46

ROFL OP. May tell DH I really love a man who will put the washing away.

Maidithappen · 18/11/2009 19:12

Sorry about your mc, megonthemoon.

Hope you're ok.

OP posts:
posieparker · 18/11/2009 19:15

Brilliant.

Maidithappen · 18/11/2009 19:38

It occurs to me that - given I don't actually fancy builder/DIY types - I will have to muster some pretty convincing sexual interest if DH agrees to act out my fantasy.

Any tips?

Although if I come home to find the bookcase I bought in IKEA in September miraculously assembled, I may well have an orgasm on the spot.

Now there's an erection I am interested in.

OP posts:
meltedchocolate · 18/11/2009 19:50

HA HA Maidithappen. Great thread!

and it wouldnt be the same to just TELL him to get x, y and z done for a great reward afterwards??

Adair · 18/11/2009 19:56

Brilliant

megonthemoon · 18/11/2009 20:34

maidithappen - i'm doing okay thanks, and much smilier for reading this thread

mummytowillow · 18/11/2009 20:39

Bloody hell, hilarious!!

Do it, or even better tell him your fantasy is him dressed as a french maid, putting shelves up!!

My ex-hubby liked no clothes and a choker knecklace round my neck, felt a right plum!! I wanted him to wear a firemans uniform and carry me up the stairs ...... hmm it didn't happen!!

mishmashmoon · 18/11/2009 20:51

Maidithappen do you have sex before or after dinner?

Sory im just curious because if he wanted you to dress up because of his "fantasy" then surley he want want to fuck you as soon as he sees you in your outfit so his dinner would either be cold or he would still have it later than 7.

HerBeatitude · 18/11/2009 20:53

oh I wouldn't stop at shelves, tell him your sexual fantasy is supervising him vacuuming, dusting and tidying with ruthless efficiency. If he gets a bit suspicious, you could just make up series of unlikely outfits tht the housework would have to be done in. It could be weeks before he suspects anything. Just keep on buying him new outfits - you know, pirates, sailors, policemen etc. and without wishing to be vulgar about it, fairly regular fellatio should ward off too forensic an examination of his suspicions.

And then you can make him do the garden by having some kind of spurious Lady Chatterly link.

HerBeatitude · 18/11/2009 20:55

ooh ooh, I'm on a roll, if you want a patio, you could make him dress up in a Bob the Builder outfit and make tawdry remarks about laying the patio and then laying you...

MissM · 18/11/2009 21:01

I am crying with laughter.

Do you think there's a way of working a fantasy in around actually picking up the stuff that's on the floor instead of delicately stepping over it?