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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To claim a sexual fantasy I don't actually have just because I think DH is taking the piss with his?

99 replies

Maidithappen · 18/11/2009 13:53

Namechanger obviously. I nearly put this in relationships, then I realised I was asking AIBU so I thought here was better.

Back story: together 9 years, married 5. Have two small DCs. I work 2 days per week, DH works 4.

Ever since we have been together, I have done almost all of the housework except cooking the evening meal, which DH has always done. He doesn't mind (and so he bloody shouldn't as I do nearly everything else) and I think the main reason he does it is because he likes to eat earlier, say 7, whereas if I am cooking we're lucky to sit down at 9, what with putting the DCs to bed etc. But, as I say, it's not a problem, although MIL makes the odd dig, like they do.

DH occasionally puts a wash on, sometimes irons. What he hardly ever does, however, is the traditional "man" things. He will cut the lawn, that's about it. As for DIY, decorating, minor repairs, flat pack furniture . . . well either I do it or get someone in. This does irritate me a bit.

Right, back story done. We have been thinking about ways to liven up our sex life (which was good anyway but needed a touch of spice, we thought). I got the idea on here to do the thing where you both act out a fantasy for the other.

DH's was to come home from work and find me cooking dinner dressed as a sexy French Maid. Um . . . . . . so I did, and it was er . . . a great success.

So he has asked me to do it more often. I have done it five or six times now.

The thing is that the last couple of times I suddenly got the feeling that it's actually nothing to do with the outfit, or the sex, that actually he just wants his dinner cooked for him. Call it women's intuition if you like .

So, here's the AIBU - given that I don't really have any fantasy that I want to/could act out with DH, would it be unfair of me to say that my fantasy is to come home and find him in jeans, workman's boots, checked shirt and large tool,belt putting up some shelves or something similar?

I can see this all working out quite well but I feel guilty about being underhand, even though I think he may be himself be being a little less than honest.

OP posts:
Rantagonist · 18/11/2009 14:17

Fkg brilliant, so funny! hey, if you don't ask, you don't get...

cantmummyhaveabreak · 18/11/2009 14:20

i suppose if his DIY skills aren't up to much you can always tell him to 'go DIY' afterwards

penona · 18/11/2009 14:22

I think this is the first time I have actually laughed out loud at an OP.

Please let us know how you get on, whatever you decide to do!!!

TheUsefulSuspect · 18/11/2009 14:23

'The thing is that the last couple of times I suddenly got the feeling that it's actually nothing to do with the outfit, or the sex, that actually he just wants his dinner cooked for him. Call it women's intuition if you like'

If this is true he is an evil genius

whoisasking · 18/11/2009 14:43

I think I might follow your lead actually OP. I've decided that what turns me on the most in the world ever...is admin assistants. Oooh, the staplers, the paper, the expense sheets. I wonder if I can pursuade my boyfriend to come into work and pretend to be an admin assistant.

Obv, there'll be no need for me to be here for a while and I could go home and get all..."het up". 8 hours should do the trick nicely.

4kidsandlovingit · 18/11/2009 14:44

OMG what a brilliant post. Certainly got me thinking now. I really hate ironing!!!! Will have to be carefull incase he gets burnt LOL.

BitOfFun · 18/11/2009 14:47

No ironing in the nude with dangly bits, that would be a bad idea...

Maidithappen · 18/11/2009 14:49

Am about the ironing idea, 4kids.

I hate ironing too but, as I mentioned, DH does iron from time-to-time, and I have never got frisky about it before. He might suspect if I tried that one.

OP posts:
Maidithappen · 18/11/2009 14:50

BitOfFun, "dangly bits" ? - how low is your ironing board, for the love of God?

Or has your DH got a very large cock which will poke up above the ironing surface if aroused? Now that could be a problem, I grant you.

OP posts:
4kidsandlovingit · 18/11/2009 14:54

Thats the thing my hubby does pretty much all of the DIY but ironing is the one thing I hate. Maybe a leopard skin thong to keep his "dangly bits" safe???!!!

BeehiveBaby · 18/11/2009 14:54

The funniest thing I've read in ages

Rhubarb · 18/11/2009 14:54
4kidsandlovingit · 18/11/2009 15:02

Rhubarb make sure he puts his back into it, on all fours, giving a bit of wiggle LOL.

rasputin · 18/11/2009 15:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lionstar · 18/11/2009 15:21

LOLOL at "commotion in the gusset"

SolidGoldBangers · 18/11/2009 15:27

It is true that men who do their share of domestic work get more sex (because men who are lazyarses and treat their wives like servants are not sexually enticing - sex becomes a chore to the wife).
So I also think the OP's idea is a good one.

TheGreatScootini · 18/11/2009 15:36

pmsl

Pinkjenny · 18/11/2009 15:37

Scoot - can you come onto my Style and Beauty thread, please.

ShowOfHands · 18/11/2009 15:42

LG&T, should I at this juncture admit that dh not only owns a pinny but wears it whilst baking/cooking? I have pictorial evidence.

After long consideration whilst wrapping the Christmas presents I think my fantasy can only be improved if dh brings regular cups of earl grey. He can do what he wants otherwise. No to him going down on me during dinnerladies though, his head might get in the way of Victoria Wood's brilliantly penned, light and yet insightful comedy.

ShowOfHands · 18/11/2009 15:43
Pinkjenny · 18/11/2009 15:46
Maidithappen · 18/11/2009 15:47

Rhubarb, make sure your DH uses his "Mr Muscle"

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 18/11/2009 15:47
MrsMills · 18/11/2009 15:48
Sidge · 18/11/2009 15:49

LOLOLOLOLOL

Just be careful, I read somewhere that men do things to you that they want done to themselves, so maybe he wants to wear the French Maid outfit??

Oh, DH has been away for weeks and now I'm coming over all unnecessary at the idea of sexy plumbers clearing out my pipes....

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