to expect people to keep their teenagers under control in the park

[fledtoscotland]

the title says it all really.

I am totally sick of taking my DC aged 1 & 2 to the park to find it vandalised by teenagers.

At the weekend we walked to our nearest to find the baby swing has been broken by teenagers standing in it (they were doing it at the time so I know they were approx 14/15yrs old), glass everywhere, dropping their litter after them. When I walked up to them they ran off so I didn't even get a chance to give them a piece of my mind.

yesterday walked to the other park in the town (further but usually nicer) to find the baby swing again vandalised although this lot had used some imagination and set fire to it , the slide had been spray painted and there was glass round the see-saw.

Just to set the scene, I have two dogs. yes they have both got their Good Citizen certificates from the Kennel club, yes they can be excitable and yes they get tied up if there are any other people at the swing parks (although in my town the parks aren't fenced off so you can take dogs up to the swings.

I would be lynched if I didn't pick up after my dogs or repair any damage they caused yet parents seem to thing that any damage their precious teenagers cause is part of life.

am going to don hard hat now while I'm told that I am totally out of line - at least I feel better now I've got it off my chest

did you phone the police whilst they were vandalising public property?

i keep my teenagers in a kennel

custardo - I didnt have my phone on me as it was at home charging (bloody typical).

suppose am just fed up with the anti-dogs threads here and it just riles me that its not just dogs that are a nuisance in public places.

have decided that hard hat isnt enough and am heading for Anderson shelter at the bottom of the garden

my son wouldn't go near the swings if you tied your dogs up right next to them, good citizen certificate or not!

call local police ask them why the parks aren't being monitored if there's so much trouble there.

Your not out of line. I understand you frustration and upset.
My DS is now 13 and I am so worried about getting the balance right of how much freedom I give him and how much I 'control' him. I think even 'good' teenagers get sucked in to things by peer pressure.

I do my best by keeping mine busy with activties that he wants to do such as Scouts, youth forum and adventure learning club - that takes care of 3 nights. He sometimes goes to neighbourhood committees as well. He is also allowed to hang round the park with mates on Saturday and Sundays.

He has asked if it would be alright to go to another neighbourhood some weekends to hang round with mates there. It is a really rough area. I think he knew the answer already but I didn't say it was a downright no. I said I trust him and didn't think he would cause any trouble BUT I don't always trust other people. He knows from the work with young people I do that some teenagers (and younger) are not that great. It's flippin hard work!!!!!

on your council website there will be details of who to contact re litter, damage and vandalism. there will also be a head of play areas or similar. send them an email. our area are very good and send someone very quickly who gets things tidied.

however, can't really stop the teenagers or expect parents to be following them round or whatever. try your neighbourhood policing team who might be able to get some PCSOs to walk round regularly, but tbh play areas are probably not high priority. rather the teens be breaking swings than breaking into people's houses.

I think fledtoscotland is being given a bit of a hard time here - it's these teenage vandals that are at fault here, not fts for not having a phone and reporting them, or for having dogs (fgs - I'm sure she ties them up away from the swings, not directly under them. Kids who are afraid of dogs will only get over it if they are allowed to be within reasonable proximity to calm, friendly dogs, not hidden from the world.)

Fledtoscotland, I think the problem is that these teenagers' parents' won't even know that their kids are causing trouble, so its not as if they're 'letting them do it'. It tends to be groups of teenagers, egging each other on.

However, it is totally unacceptable.

I think the best thing to do is to kick up a stink at the police station, or somehow get in to see the park wardens. Setting fire to swings and leaving broken glass around a playground is seriously dangerous and the authorities need to do something about it.

Don't let the matter go, pretend to be a complete neurotic if you have to be - the only way to get things done is if you keep on and on at them to do something. Could be more wardens, CCTV, closing it at night? (I don't know, its not our job to figure out how to keep the park safe).

It's a pain that you have the shitty task of trying to sort this out, but it looks like no-one else is going to, so make a change.

yanbu, but ut's difficult as the teenagersare usually with other teenagers rather than parents!

but i'm afraid op fwiw it's not teenagers round here that cause park problems but dog owners and thier dogs, being let off the lead near the play ground, dog poo everywhere, allowing dogs to run up to a terrified dd to "get her used to it" therefore reconfirming her phobia.

i can understand your frustrations as a responsible dog owner, it's ashame there aren't more of you about. dog owners round here a pain in the a**e.

I live in inner London and I'm afraid it's dogs, not teenagers that are the problem here - yes you get the odd kid smoking a spliff or hanging out with mates but they do it in a low-key, unobtrusive way and don't cause any hassle because they know the police would be down on them in seconds (we have park police here). I'm sure they have their moments but they do it away from the park, which is appropriately fenced and monitored at night.

OP, I see where you're coming from, and it is unacceptable behaviour, but I really doubt that "their parents seem to thing that any damage their precious teenagers cause is part of life". I don't imagine they even know what's going on - unlike dogs, you can't keep teenagers on a lead!

Part of the reason people get so riled about dogs is because 90% of the time the owners are standing there WATCHING their dogs shit on the sandpit/chase kids/snatch food or whatever.

I think "90% of the time" is pushing it. You just don't notice the owners who DO have their dogs on leads, well under control, laden down with poo bags, because they're doing nothing to attract unwanted attention to themselves.

As a dog owner, I feel your pain. We always pick up after our dog and if there are children around he is kept on the lead. He is very friendly but when parents ask if their children can stroke him I am 100% honest. Yes, he is friendly and wont bite but he is just a puppy (regardless of his size!) so he may get excited and try and jump up.

My mum moved into a new house about 5 years ago. Behind it there was a lovely park built for the children. It has been vandalised so many times that when my mum phoned them to say that the slide had been set on fire (again), they told her they have no immediate plans to get it fixed and may be pulling it down. This is their answer to fixing the problem

Well, I only have a little boy of 2 so it's hard for me to see this from the parents of teenagers perspectives (though fwiw I know it's not all teenagers who vandalise, and not all parents of teens let them run wild and don't know where they are of an evening)

All I know is, I try to take my little one to the the park 20 seconds from my house, and it's littered with fast food trays, condoms and their wrappers, broken glass, chewing gum and all manner of other rubbish. And there's always little puddles of phlegm everywhere.

The swings are covered in some kind of melted substance (plastic? rubber?) The climbing frame is like a wooden ship raised up on a small "hill" so the teens use it as a lookout. Its covered in extremely graphic graffiti (thank god ds can't read yet) and they've thrown what looks like gloss paint everywhere, and tried to set fire to several areas.

This park is surrounded on all sides by rows of houses. They can clearly be seen - people are obviously too scared to report bad behaviour. Or maybe they don't care?

I've never seen ANY dog poo there, which is something at least!

"By wildfig Wed 18-Nov-09 09:52:15
I think "90% of the time" is pushing it. You just don't notice the owners who DO have their dogs on leads, well under control, laden down with poo bags, because they're doing nothing to attract unwanted attention to themselves."

Sorry - we've misunderstood each other.

I agree that 90% of dog owners are not irresponsible. Most of them are lovely people and very sensible. Only a tiny minority are arses.

What I meant was that when a dog is running around, 90% of the time the owner is in the vicinity just watching.

Usually it's not a case of the dog momentarily slipping the leash and causing a problem, it's the same people, week in week out, persistently letting their dogs foul the park while they watch.

My teenage boys 13 and 16 wouldnt be seen dead in a swing park, let alone being in a park with ME!

I think we can all agree that both vandalism and irresponsible behaviour by dog owners are bad things!

But teenagers can't be "kept under control" in the same way as dogs - you can't keep them on a leash, or be right beside them at all times. So, even more than with dogs, the important part is to train them right while they're still very young, so that they know not to do these things. By the time they are teenagers, the damage is usually already done.

"even more than with dogs, the important part is to train them right while they're still very young"

This made me lol! Do you think biscuits for good behaviour and taps on the nose for bad would work on my DS?

hope I am still here in 14 yrs time to see how well you are keeping tabs on your precious teenagers

That reminds me! Must get a choke chain and a muzzle for DS#1's birthday. He will be 13. So god knows what he'll be up to when we let him out the front door.....

Ah well maryz - that's because teenagers are the ones that have to be not seen and not heard you see! No longer children but not old enough to be doing adult things. And no-one wants them around. They are a sort of human vermin

I didn't like being a teenager. It was horrible. And so many adults seem to forget that. They are going through a difficult phase. At a time when they are also trying to do GCSEs and A levels and make decisions about what they are going to do with the rest of their lives. Fairly hellish all in all.

Totally agree with AMum

I got in to trouble around that age but my parents had always drilled it into me that vandalism was really wrong and to ALWAYS respect property that isnt your own. So even when i was getting in trouble there are things like that, that i never allowed myself to do.

Parents cant control a teenager. They just have to hope that all the lessons they had growing up with stick and that they dont get in to too bad a crowd.

OrmIrian - I agree. The level of hatred directed at teenagers by the press, public etc is disgusting.

Devices like the mosquito ffs. If that a device that caused pain, concentration problems and headaches was being used on adults there would be outrage. But somehow assaulting children going about their law-abiding business is quite ok

And the constant references to youth crime and "hoodies" - without mentioning the fact that the vast, vast majority of the victims of youth crime are other children.

Around here we have social clubs, football clubs, rugby clubs, police cadets, army cadets, kids make ramps for their bikes in the woods, cinema, swimming, bowling (i have 3 boys, so not sure about what girls do)

These things are too uncool for the kids who drink in the woods. I suspect parents have to get their kids involved in these sort of things before they become teenagers.

Totally agree with Orm too. I have just left my teens and for the most of it, it was REALLY difficult and i am determined not to forget that a i grow older.

The amount of peer pressure at the moment too is crazy. Sex and drugs are so common in teens now it's scary, and it is hard for them because most of it only comes from a smaller crowd but seems to affect everyone.