Three pounds on a Christmas present. Is this tight or ok?

[RockBird]

SIL happened to comment at the weekend that she has done her Christmas shopping and spent £8 on brothers and sisters, £5 on other halves and £3 on children (there are three under 6 in the family of which DD is one)

Background: Both her and her fiance are very high earners, the highest earners in the family and they do not have children or a huge mortgage. Both sets of parents are paying for their wedding. Only mentioning this to clarfiy that lack of money is not the issue.

I also should make it clear that I do not expect any presents IYSWIM. If she had said sorry I'm not giving presents this year it absolutely wouldn't bother me. But I think £3 is odd. I would rather she had spent the whole amount for our part of the family on DD or got nothing at all. For DD's first birthday earlier this year she didn't buy her a card, she got a very dark, grown up notelet and wrote a one on it. That really annoyed me and is possibly clouding my judgement over this but it all just seems stingy and I'd rather she hadn't bothered.

So go on, let me have it. I'm B very U aren't I?

What a mean git. The specifics are irrelevant, the point is you can't fail to notice that are two extraordinarily tight arses.

they are

they are

they still are

Amazon are selling decent children's books like the Gruffalo for under £3 at the moment. I think that's a good gift. The best presents aren't the flashy expensive things with the 'wow' factor when you unwrap them, they're the ones that are still being used/read/played with 5 years later.

Or maybe they spent a fortune on wrapping paper, tags, bows etc and are cutting back on the gift costs to compensate. (I bought some of the above at the weekend - couldn't believer how much it all cost!)

i have spent £3 on a couple of pressies this year for nephew (some meccano-esque sets from the entertainer that were originally £10) and ds's pressies were free (won some lego on here in Jan) £5, playmobil using £25off code. and dont think i have paid full price for anything. however, we are on a v low income and until dh joins RAF i am only earner, so cant afford much at all. that said, i think if we had the money i would raise the budget and not be as tight. therefore YAN totally BU

gagamama, bought some wrapping paper from asda today for 14p a roll!

this is why the rich remain rich. they know how to be careful with money - this is where so many people go wrong.

we are quite tight with money too.

YABU - it's the thought that counts. people are so materialistic these days. IMHO be grateful for what you are given, regardless of the cost.

Ha and if you think the OP's relatives are tight, I know one couple who are very wealthy and got their DS a BASKETBALL for his first Christmas, and nothing else. Perhaps that's stingy to some people?

Hmmm, unreasonable or not, I'd feel the same as the OP.
Against all my better judgement, and what I know is morally right...I'd still be unconciously thinking "tight bastards". Sorry but I would.

DP and I are now expecting our first baby but for the last couple of Xmasses, we've been reasonably well off with two decent disposable incomes, and it was a pleasure to spoil our two nieces whom we adore, with a couple of presents each (about £20 each).

lovechoc Spending £3 is only "the work of a tight person" if that person's comfortably off so that £3 is a derisory amount. Not the case for everyone, at all. I said that in my response and I think most of the other YANBU-ers (I appreciate we're in the minority!) did too.

The impression given is that the giver has not carefully chosen something that the kids will like, and just happens to be a bargain at £3, but that she has gleefully snapped up something because of its low price tag, which may well not be a decent present at all. In which case, why bother? Something free or that you'd made yourself, or nothing, would be preferable - and I would happily receive any of those from my skint friends. But the people being described sound different.

It's not the fact that she's spent not very much (nice gifts can be found for those amounts, as others have said), it's the way she seems to have 'bragged' about her spendthrift success. Why did she feel the need to announce it like she's won some kind of competition - would have p'd me off too.

Yanbu. I would want to say, buy your niece something wonderful and special that she will enjoy for a long time. Especially if you don't have your own kids yet. Why wouldn't you want to spoil her a bit? And doubt you will be able to do this for three quid unless you make it or come across fab bargain at charity shop, in which case, lovely.

The price of stuff doesn't really bother me. I do think she was BU to tell you how much she had spent though. Bragging about how little you've spent is just as bad as bragging about how much.

The part that would bug me is the lack of thought, if as you say, she did all her shopping in one go and made no effort to get things people liked or wanted. My ILs do this - they buy little bits and bobs all year and throw them in a cupboard, then look through it all at Xmas and try to work out what they can give to who. I'd rather they didn't bother, frankly.

I personally find it odd that she would tell people how much she chose to spend.

YANBU. Unless she has scored presents which manage to be both well-suited to their recipient and a bargain - in which case, she's an expert at gifting! It's unlikely that a £3 present is going to be anything more than a novelty or token gesture, not bought with the individual in mind and probably fated to lie gathering dust somewhere until Spring Cleaning. I hate receiving presents like that; if money is an issue, I would prefer they didn't get me anything at all because a useless or inappropriate present is just a waste of their money, isn't it? Buy me a drink instead if you insist on giving me something! Why bother spending £3 on a lipgloss you know I'll never wear because I never wear lipgloss? This is a reference to a specific person, by the way, and for the record I spent £7 on some earrings from M&S for her, they were absolutely her style and she still wears them now. She has more disposable cash than me but I spent that little bit more on her in order to ensure my present to her wouldn't be a total waste of time, effort and money.

I don't have a lot of money this Christmas and it is difficult trying to find presents people will appreciate within a budget, but you can do it if you make the effort and shop around. If your SIL is a high earner, it isn't very generous-hearted of her to scrimp. Surely Christmas is about treating each other as much as you reasonably can?

I do think it is a small amount, however do think that people should have caps across the board on what they spend on family. Like £10 each thats for children and adults, some cannot afford that so leave out the adults and spend £10 on the children.

YOu should do the same with your presents spend her limits.

Gloves, socks, hankies!

Any money you earn affects your benefits. If you are a single parent, or even a couple parent you cannot earn more than £20.00.

YANBU - it is tight!

YABU it's up to her how she spends her money

Why has my thread been bumped? This was ages ago

She might have bought the kids' presents with a 3 for 2 offer or something similar, which might explain the odd £3 figure once the total's averaged between them all.

StripeyKnickers what did you get your DH? I'm really nosey interested.

Ooh dunno. I've only just read it.