to be utterly hacked off because my dp has invited most of his friends round for a full roast dinner on Boxing day?

[itsmeolord]

I am so not amused.

I am cooking Christmas dinner for our two children, dp's brother and two of his friends as their family are all in Australia.
Absolutely fine. Looking forward to it.

DP has informed me this week that he has invited 14 people round on Boxing day for a roast with all the trimmings.

1. We cannot seat 14 people plus our own family makes 18.

2.He is expecting me to sort and pay for all the food. No fucking chance I said.

1. After a mad Christmas day the last thing I want is to be cooking and entertaining all of his friends, I won't get to sit down and relax on Christmas day, I never do. Now I am expected to slave in the bloody kitchen onBoxing day as well whilst he gets pissed and generally gets on my nerves.

1. After mentioning that actually we haven't got anywhere to put all these people, he then came out with the classic; "oh don't worry, I've thought of that we can go to XX's house, he's got the room and you can cook for us all there!"

I don't even know where to begin with this one, am starting by telling him that he can fecking well cook if he wants to do the full roast thing.
Please give me some ideas though, this one deserves maximum punishment.

tell him to cook it himelf

That's certainly a bit much.

Why not suggest that everyone brings a different dish to XXX's house? You then hastily offer pudding - easy to do a big choccie dessert that serves 12 say, now and freeze. Two other desserts, someone to do enormous turkey etc.

But get him to sort all that as it hardly needs to be your worry!

if it was me, i'd tell him, he can go on his own, and have a nice relaxing day at home on my own with the dc's!

Tell him you won't do it. It's as simple as that. And what's with the you paying thing? Just say no, fuck off.

Tell him right now, that you will not be cooking and that there is not enough space in your house and you will not be making people welcome.

Right now. Straight up, no hedging, no softening blow, just tell him how it is. Then continue with your planned Christmas Day and have a good relax on Boxing Day.

If he still invites them over, ignore them and continue slobbing about in your pjs.

don't offer to do ANYTHING!!!!, if he wants to do this on boxing day, it's up to him to sort it/cook etc. you stand your ground.

And no one is actually going to want a roast with all teh trimmings the day after they've had a roast with all the trimmings. Is he quite sane? Or is this some weird controlling thing?

I would be livid. I think the suggestion that everyone brings a dish to XXX's house is a very good one.

i'd be tempted to tell him to go on his own too
tell hm that boxing day is all cold buffet stuff so he's welcome to take the xmas day leftovers with him
what are you, his servant?

Totally with Morloth. I would be saying "Oh, that's nice. I'm going to be elsewhere, so I'll miss it. Make sure you wash up before I come back."

Jeez, he is being totally unreasonable !

A normal person would have approached you with the idea, asked your opinion, offer ideas to make it easier (eg, him doing the cooking) etc etc. I'm guessing this is fairly typical of him ?

Just say no.

I would politely inform him that you are not his chef, and that if he feels like extending the hand of hospitality to all and sundry that's fine, but he will be cooking. That's how it works.

I don't get the problem here. Just say No.

Yes there is no problem - it is a mad idea, of course you aren't going to do it!

Thats just silly. I think you just need to say no. Theres no way you will do that, and why do you have to pay and cook it all?

The idea of everyone brining a plate of food is good, maybe coming late afternoon? food off plates on laps, informal type thing?

I think anyone who expects you to cook a full roast dinner two days in a row is nuts.

I would say - Well if you want to go to XXs house and have a roast dinner, then off you go. I and the children will be having a peaceful day here, recovering from the hard work of the day before. If you want someone else to cook for you, I'm sure you could hire a chef for the day.

Tell him to go to XXXs house then-and any contribution to the meal he does himself.

Who are these 14 people with nowhere else to go on Boxing Day than the house of a friend with a family?

Just tell him no, it's very simple. If he wants to go over to a mates on Boxing Day while you have a lovely calm day at home with the children eating chocolate relaxing then that's up to him.

Tis not some sort of control thing, he is just genuinely moronic thick skinned.

We have had a tradition for a few years where a couple of his friends have come over for boxing day for something to eat, never more than 4 of them, its all friends who have no family basically. All very relaxed though, I just bung a joint of beef in the slow coooker and do bubble and squeek with the christmas day leftovers.

This year he seems to have taken that to the nth degree and invited the world.

Have already told him he will be buying food, cooking food etc, just really don't want an extra 14 people in the house on Boxing day.

Am already feeling abit hemmed in as his brother has moved down the road from us and is round constantly and is very hard work.

I was looking forward to Christmas as a time to have a couple of days relaxing, not entertaining his fecking mates.

Mmmm, yes I think I will be telling him to go to his friends house seeing as it is so big and lovely.I feel like I have been hired out as a group surrenedered wife!

This is not an issue or a problem.Politely tell your dp that you will not be cooking or participating in this big feast, and if he wants to cook and pay for it all he is most welcome to, but none of it will encroach upon your time.
You are absolutely not his slave, so do not act like one.
How very dare he!!

Are you sure he's not pulling your leg? Sounds like a practical joke to me. Just one point who has a full roast on boxing day and Christmas day? I thought the whole point was christmas day food follwed by boxing day left overs!

You DH sounds very nice and generous and all that, but him being Lord Bountiful shouldn't be at your expense. Hope you don't get made out to be a party-pooper. How old are you? Do any of the other have partners/children. This sounds like a sort of jolly student set up

< old lady emoticon >

So, he's taken a sensible idea and blown it up to the point of stupidity? I'd just say "No, I can't feed 14 people, here or anywhere. And I'm not doing a roast 2 days in a row. So you can decide to uninvite them, or think about how you are going to feed them at XXs house"

Tell him to do one. With christmas bells on.