to be utterly hacked off because my dp has invited most of his friends round for a full roast dinner on Boxing day?

[itsmeolord]

I am so not amused.

I am cooking Christmas dinner for our two children, dp's brother and two of his friends as their family are all in Australia.
Absolutely fine. Looking forward to it.

DP has informed me this week that he has invited 14 people round on Boxing day for a roast with all the trimmings.

1. We cannot seat 14 people plus our own family makes 18.

2.He is expecting me to sort and pay for all the food. No fucking chance I said.

1. After a mad Christmas day the last thing I want is to be cooking and entertaining all of his friends, I won't get to sit down and relax on Christmas day, I never do. Now I am expected to slave in the bloody kitchen onBoxing day as well whilst he gets pissed and generally gets on my nerves.

1. After mentioning that actually we haven't got anywhere to put all these people, he then came out with the classic; "oh don't worry, I've thought of that we can go to XX's house, he's got the room and you can cook for us all there!"

I don't even know where to begin with this one, am starting by telling him that he can fecking well cook if he wants to do the full roast thing.
Please give me some ideas though, this one deserves maximum punishment.

I'm not sure what the problem here is.

He's actually handed you a blinder. He's cooking and you know what to buy him for xmas. A turkey and a fucking oven glove!

There is no problem. Just tell him you are not going to do it.
Thats it.

Definitely not a joke.

I am 33, he is 38. We both work full time, definitely not a jolly student set up. I will end up being made to look/feel like a party pooper though.

He is like a child sometimes, acts impulsively and then sulks, becomes very intractable if thwarted.

Have left him a voicemail to call me as I want to have this out now. Am getting quite cross the more I think about it.

When he said about it i kind of did a face, it was only last night.
Now am getting more and more pissed off with him.

at some of your posts. So turkey baster, oven glove and a cooking timer might be good gift ideas then?

Just say NO!

It's all very simple: you say you're not going to be in that day, you go out, you leave him and his mates to it. And if they think you're a "party pooper"... whatever.

we have a full roast dinner again on boxing day for as many people as wake up on the floor after the party on xmas nite

So, he acts like a child and sulks if he doesn't get his own way?
Fine, treat him like a child them. Ignore his sulks, don't give in to unreasnable behaviour, and if all else fails threaten to stop all telly for a month ( works with my dcs)

I think you're being really mean. A few mates round for a bite to eat is not a big deal. Where is your Christmas spirit? And wear something sexy, give all the men an unexpected stocking.

I think I'd tell him to go to XXs with a pile of pizzas and paper plates. If XX has a huge oven that is.

Hully, are you up to your tricks again? Go and get on with something useful!

it;s not a few mates.

has he actually catagorically agreed to cook now?

if you resent the fact that he hired out your personal space on boxing day. You have to say no.

This is so outrageious that I've been wondering if it's a windup.

I guess not, though. But on a more serious note, is this another of those partnerships where it's "his" money and "my" money, and you owe me for the ice creams, but I'll pay for the cinema and take it out of next week's newspaper bill, which you're s'posed to pay for but you keep forgetting.....

Why has he told you you're paying for this knees-up? And that's before we start on the "and you're cooking it, too" bit.

14 friends, i dont have 14 people who i would class as friends!

Are these people good friends of his or just people he knows?

hully, 14 is not 'a few mates' though, 14 guests on boxing day is full on proper entertaining.

are all his friends single/childless?, can't see all their other halfs/kids being happy about this idea. kids want to be at home playing with their new presents.

Even my dh, who has the sensitivity and social skills of a housebrick, wouldn't do this!

No is a complete sentence. Use it.

'you need to cook for 14 of my mates on boxing day.'

'no'

Its not a windup. Have been here since 2007, have namechanged a couple of times in that period, not for trolling purposes, just seasonal changes or wanted a change for no good reason etc.

We both have separate accounts, we are meant to pay an equal amount towards all bills, I am the main income though and pay pretty much all the food bill as well as my share of all other bills, I pay the childcare solely as well.

We don't bicker about money generally, it's not the set up you describe, honestly.

Have had a conversation with him, basically said, listen, have been thinking about this Boxing day party you have organised.
I'm not happy about it, I'm not cooking a roast for 14 extra people and I'm not doing the clearing up. In fact, I'd rather we don't do it at all. Its not my idea of a relaxing boxing day, in fact its my idea of hell.

He has got the hump (predictably), and has said he'll have to talk to his friend with the mahousive house, either that or he will have to take them all to the pub for lunch.

I replied, I doubt you can afford that and I am not paying for it. They are your friends, you can sort this.

He is Not Talking To Me. (he hung up)

Twat.

why cant the friend cook whose house dh said you could go to?

if dh wants to entertain then he can can,but not you

just tell him no

Just say no and keep repeating this as and when necessary.

You don't need this immature manchild doing this to you. Who does he think he is?. He would not treat his Mother in such a manner or would he?.

Is he like this in other areas of your relationship, if he is I think you need to give your whole relationship some very serious thought.

Fine. Let him sulk.

But DON'T GIVE IN!!!!

Fair enough, he can go to the pub for lunch and then back to his mates for the afternoon

bye bye

Let him sulk - you have been Completely Reasonable and he is an arse.

(I've always wanted to do the thing )

Go around to a friend's place on Boxing Day - let him take care of it himself!

I still don't see why it's such a big deal to have a few mates round for boxing day. It's not like you have to go to work or anything. Think of Our Lord, he didn't take days off and this day is all about him really, isn't it?