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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my nanny to eat a whole box of chocolates in my fridge?

119 replies

PanicMode · 13/11/2009 14:30

I have had a box of Guylian chocolates (not that it's particularly relevant) in my fridge for a couple of weeks, and my brother was here yesterday, so went to open the box - to find that all bar 8 of them had been eaten. I immediately accused my husband, as he is known to be a bit of a secret treat eater, but he absolutely swears blind that he only had 2.

She's also finished two enormous bags of crisps this week and most of a packet of biscuits. I don't begrudge feeding her breakfast and lunch as her contract states, but is it unreasonable of me to expect her NOT to eat my 'treats'?!

OP posts:
ChilloHippi · 13/11/2009 16:52

Lynette I don't even know what to say in response to your comments.

bibbitybobbityhat · 13/11/2009 16:53

I'm more than chunky and I never eat chocolate. Would not dream of touching it. Your chocolates would have been safe with me op .

Rubyrubyruby · 13/11/2009 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 13/11/2009 16:57

lynettescavo
Yes, that does make you fattist. Of course heavier people consume more calories than thinner people. That doesn't mean we are unable to exercise willpower of self control around other people's food. You are imagining fat girls as huge piggy creatures who snaffle everything sweet in the vicinity which is outrageous.

Personally, I like to have a good breakfast so I don't get hungry before lunch. Then if I want a snack later I provide one for myself. I don't go rifling through my colleagues' desks looking for chocolate

And I also prefer to get my calories from savoury things. The OP's gulyian would be safe with me, but if she had fresh bread and good cheese it might be another story...

LynetteScavo · 13/11/2009 16:57

Maira - I noticed this during 10 years of working as a nanny - and yes, I was always larger than my empolyer.

I'm sensing lots of touchiness on this thread - jsut like when I sugested some people spend too much time on Mumsnet.

Firawla · 13/11/2009 16:59

I think YANBU it is rude of her to eat them, and you shouldn't have to expect nanny to help herself to everything in your house which isn't labelled. As someone said, she could bring her own treats/snacks if she wants to snack in between meals.
This is a reason i wouldnt want a nanny or anyone working in my house as people taking, moving or messing around with my things would really really irritate me

nickelbabe · 13/11/2009 17:01

lol @ some comments!

lynette: shame on you. tut tut

i agree that if you've not told the nanny they're not for general consumption then you don't have an argument, but i also have to say that sometimes I buy chocolates for special treats and it's really annoying when they get snaffled.

in my previous relationship, the sure fire way to stop greedychops ex eating my chocolates was to put them in the fridge (he loved chocolate and fudge more than anything in the world but he hated it cold). although, i used to have to hide my treats to stop him eating them. i was given some celebrations and hid them in the wardrobe so he couldn't nick them. they were there abotu a year, but when i left him, i shared them with my new boyf as a payback (i enjoyed the mean-ness of it )
and i hid my birthday present fudge in the loft after he ate half of them without permission (and they were unopened)

so, in conclusion, you can't trust anyone. if they're in the fridge, they'll be eaten so hide them in the wardrobe.

Maria2007loveshersleep · 13/11/2009 17:02

Well Lynette people certainly spend too much time on MN, that's for sure. I should be working at this very moment instead of participating in this bizarre thread & scoffing down a mince pie

That doesn't make your comments any less fattist tbh.

LynetteScavo · 13/11/2009 17:02

Actually, I once worked for someone who often had lots of lovely expensive chocolated sitting around. And yes, I did eat them; I thought she didn't want them, but with hind sight, maybe she was saving them. (I don't think so, because she did actually used to bin them sometimes, and yes, I have been known to take them out off the bin and scoff them )

Wouldn't have touched Guyalin though. [chocolate snob emoticon}

porcamiseria · 13/11/2009 17:04

Lynette you making me laugh!

I awlays said if I hired an au pair she needs to be a minimum sixe 18 with facial hair

anyway.......

LynetteScavo · 13/11/2009 17:05

Mind you...if my nanny, or anybody ate my Toblerone (which I have hidden on top of the fridge) I would not be happy.

PanicMode, It hink you need to state what are treats and what aren't. While it maybe obvious to you, it might not to your nanny.

ChilloHippi · 13/11/2009 17:07

I spend too long on MN. It takes my mind of chocolate...

LynetteScavo · 13/11/2009 17:09

I would just like to point out I do not have facial hair! (See "I've had a bad reaction to facial hair removal cream and now have a ginormous blistering red upper lip" thread for proof)

loupiots · 13/11/2009 17:13

No - I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

The first nanny we had did this - you couldn't leave anything in the fridge that was even vaguely "treaty", without it being eaten immediately. She would also use the expenses money we left her each day to buy cream cakes and other bits and bobs if she didn't fancy anything in the house.

She was taking the proverbial and we didn't know any better at the time, but that's not the behaviour of a good nanny.

Anyway we sacked her after a couple months because she was truly awful, just appalling; totally unrelated to the food stuff.

Good communication is the secret to successful nanny relations. If it is annoying you, then speak up. It's your home as well as her place of employment and letting the matter fester and irritate you is the road to ruin. I don't walk into my boss's office and help myself to his chocolate stash (and he does have one). Same thing.

Just be clear, there are some things that you would prefer she didn't eat, but everything else (or whatever your limits are) is perfectly acceptable.

blueshoes · 13/11/2009 17:13

You gave those chocs a good home, lynette.

MaggiePie · 13/11/2009 17:13

Tesco do a box of chocolates, own brand, blue and white box aout £1.15, and obviously you couldn't give them away as a present but honestly they are nice. Buy about 3 boxes and then relax.

kittywise · 13/11/2009 17:16

To the op. Yanbu at all. She is a greedv mare and should told to buy her own

Rubyrubyruby · 13/11/2009 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chandon · 13/11/2009 17:22

I always used to buy extra biscuits and crisps and chocs for my nanny (when I had one), because I knew she liked them.

I also had a scpecial upboard with things "for guests" (ie not for her to eat) which contained wine, liquor and a few biccies and chocs to have as a standby.

TBH you sound a teeny bit mean. Do you teach your DSs about sharing?......

Sorry but YABU

kittywise · 13/11/2009 17:32

chandon I don't think anyone has told the nanny not to help herself to other people's things

TidyBush · 13/11/2009 18:01

But you're all missing the point here. Why would you have it in the fridge?

The whole point of chocolate is to have it at room temperature so that it melts all lovely and gooey while you gobbble it down savour it.

potatofactory · 13/11/2009 18:06

I've got to agree with the person who pointed out that buying cheap biscuits and crisps and pointedly telling her she can snack on those is just embarrassing.

I can't believe you care. One choc a day. Why not? Either she's welcome or she's not. If she's welcome, she can have a choc. If she's not - get rid of her. I'm sure she'd want to go anyway if she knew you'd started this thread!

LynetteScavo · 13/11/2009 18:15

You are so right, TidyBush!

(I love your name, BTW. )

LynetteScavo · 13/11/2009 18:25

I've just re-read the OP.

There were 8 chocolates left, so really I think YABU.

I once ate a whole packet of chocolate covered coffe beans. This was in the early 90's when such things were hard to find. I spent the whole of one Satuday trying to track them down so I could replace them before my employer noticed they were missing.( I found them in Partriges off Sloane Sq incase your interested) She woudn't have minded me having a few, but the whole packet was a bit excessive, I must admit.

Original poster
PanicMode · 13/11/2009 18:47

OK - I did post slightly tongue in cheek - I don't particularly like those chocolates - MIL gave them to us (because she doesn't like them either - but DH will eat almost any chocolate!!) so they were sealed in the fridge (I think DH put them there). He opened them on Monday and had 2. When I came to open them after supper, there were the 8 left - so she'd eaten however many of them in one sitting - and not said anything to me.

I do have a cupboard with treats and biscuits in for her - and I make her cakes for the days when she is entertaining other nannies - I don't tend to eat sweets etc at quite the same rate that she does but I accept that she has a sweet tooth and it's up to her what she eats - so it's not as though I'm 'denying' her food or the sweet crap food that she likes to eat - and generally I am very relaxed, but I do think that perhaps she should have respected the things that were obviously not 'hers'.

Anyway, I shall slink off for my couples counselling now.....!

OP posts: