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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really cross that NO ONE can be arsed to help at PTA fayre

323 replies

nicefleece · 11/11/2009 20:34

I have volunteered to help out at the PTA Christmas Fayre. A note was sent out last week in all 410 book bags, asking for any volunteers to help set up / man the stalls.

3 people replied, one of them is the chair of the PTA

What the feck? Shall I ask the heads to mention it? Why are people so sodding selfish! I know people work, have other kids etc etc but really....

What next? Megaphone of shame in the playground? Sooooo cross and disappointed!

OP posts:
flibertygibet · 11/11/2009 22:52

I really thing people are jumping down Nicefleece's throat for stating the bleeding obvious...people CAN'T be arsed and that's sad.

There are plenty of parents on our PTA who work - while they don't always man a stall at events, the do manage to bake/buy a cake for a cake stall, hang around for an extra 15 minutes to help tidy up etc..

I think what the critics of the PTA are forgetting is what the money raised goes for - and in our school it is not just discos btw - it is for:

  • subsidising school trips for those who can't afford to send their kids (and have you seen the excitement on a kid's face when they go on a real coach bus on a school trip??)
  • buying BOOKS - yes, guess what? The govt changes the curriculum so often that many schools are not equipped with the basics. Our PTA bought a whole block of Oxford Reading Tree books for Reception and Y1 - why? Because the school COULD NOT AFFORD IT...
  • playground equipment - replacing the used, worn, equipment costs money
  • Chairs - our ICT suite needed new chairs as the old ones were broken, unsuitable. Guess what? The school COULD NOT AFFORD IT!
  • Tables - see above
  • Recorders/Music Teachers - we didn't have any of these and managed to purchase workshops for children.

Nicefleece..keep doing what your doing.

And those who don't have the time - that's fine. I'm taking a step back this year as the PTA was taking up a LOT of my time last 2 years. Donate the money but don't expect that there will be 'events' for your children to enjoy because the 'core' group just won't want to expend the energy anymore.

RustyBear · 11/11/2009 22:52

moondog - are you saying that the teachers at the OP's school are now going to stop making an effort with 407 of the 410 children at the school?

In my experience (6 years on PTA committee 10 years working at school), most of the teachers don't have a clue which parents support the PTA and which don't, and even if they did there's no way it would affect their attitude to the children - nor do any other negative feelings they have about a particular parent. Sure, they may whinge in the staff room about a parent who is being a pain but if anything it works the other way - they go out of their way to give support to a child who gets none from their parents.

You must know some very strange teachers...

scottishmummy · 11/11/2009 22:53

hell no extra money forthcoming from me for undefined pta purpose. pay taxes as it is

displayuntilbestbefore · 11/11/2009 22:54

Oh, so you DO actually contribute, scottish mummy, despite your protests to the contrary and accusations of brown-nosing!

InMyLittleHead · 11/11/2009 22:54

Surely the fucking government should be making sure schools have enough money for books etc.

From what I've heard of various PTAs, would rather shag Nicholas Soames than get involved. Honestly.

golgi · 11/11/2009 22:54

I really can't go to these events. My job really is that inflexible.

But if somebody asked me nicely to give some of the spare hour I have to myself in the evenings, yes, I might.

Course that's assuming I even read the letter, I'm far too busy to empty the book bag most nights (joking, sort of).

MikeStand · 11/11/2009 22:55

oh lighten up scottish mummy. You are very cross about something. You sit on many threads making your dull points about the rights of WOHM - you sound like a pissed off man. Lighten up. We are hugely impressed by your working importance. Odd you are so important you spend all day posting in such a bitter manner.

scottishmummy · 11/11/2009 22:55

actually i do sweet fa.however i would do something that didn't involve staffing a stall in work time

displayuntilbestbefore · 11/11/2009 22:56

assuming you're joking golgi, seeing as you have time to be on MN?

flibertygibet · 11/11/2009 22:57

Govt/local LEA gives £2700 per child to the school. If you have good teachers, they are on a higher salary, extras, books, equipment, replacement equipment - it all adds up.

The govt. DOES NOT pay for these things. Schools go without.

PeedOffWithNits · 11/11/2009 22:57

we also run a meet the PTA stall at the first parents evening of the year, handing out cheese and wine, we have a display board showing some of our events and a list of what we have raised/spent in the last yr....we chat to the parents and get telephone numbers of those who can even ONLY spare a few hours to wrap for santas grotto, or can stay behind and clear up at disco. ANY amount of help is welcomed. Blanket fliers asking for help get ignored as no one knows what EXACTLY they are being asked to do, and everyone assumes someone else will bother doing it. Also many people do not like/want to be in front of people in public, but will happily help behind the scenes. And folk are worried about it becoming too much and having to let the PTA down - tell them they do not have to stay for years, personal and family circs change, so level of involvment will too.

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/11/2009 22:58

Hmmm Nicholas Soames...

MillyR · 11/11/2009 22:59

MikeStand, that was unpleasant; there is no need to make personal attacks.

golgi · 11/11/2009 22:59

Yes, between 9 (when I finish my marking) and bedtime (which should have been half an hour ago).

School christmas fayre is on a Friday. I don't need to ask my head if I can leave my classes to go and man a cake stall, because I know what the answer would be.

I am baking cakes next week. For the school I teach at, not the one I send my children to.

MikeStand · 11/11/2009 23:00

Oh well you can't be arsed - how inconvenient school operates in work time. It is much more valued to be at work.

mollybob · 11/11/2009 23:01

I would bake if given a bit of notice - being asked on Wednesday for a Friday afternoon cake stall isn't enough notice for me as I work 10+ hours on both Thursday and Friday but I enjoy baking with DD so if you give me a week I will contribute. DD's school has only just started telling us about events at the start of each term rather than less than a week in advance and I have managed to go to more things. PTA need to follow suit.

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/11/2009 23:02

It is more valued to be at work earning money to pay the bills, than it is to be manning a stall selling gingerbread. Of course it is.

SolidGoldBangers · 11/11/2009 23:02

The reason most people won't 'help out' is because most PTA 'events' are self-aggrandizing wank and a waste of everyone's time. It's like Comic Relief - a few people pestering and inconveniencing everyone else so they can squawk about how charitable and wonderful they are ('fundraising' activities are nearly all shit, they mean doing stupid pointless stuff or spending money on crap you don't want or need).
WHy not just say, look, we need extra money for school trips/feeding the starving/curing cancer, please give us some?

scottishmummy · 11/11/2009 23:03

most parents are at work in school time.few jobs offer start after 9am finish before 3pm

PeedOffWithNits · 11/11/2009 23:03

mollybob - yes, short notice is daft - our dates are all set for PTA events for the whole year, and are in the termly newsletters well in advance.

MillyR · 11/11/2009 23:03

I don't think there is any need for people to prove that they are occupied every minute of the day to justify their claim not to have time. Everybody needs some time to relax and unwind. The point is that people choose what to commit to, and the PTA is low on most people's priorities. It doesn't make them selfish; they are just participating in other jobs, both paid and unpaid that they think are more valuable as a contribution.

SixtyFootDoll · 11/11/2009 23:03

Good post fliberti
Am at the backlash to the PTa
I am not on ours but always help out when I can
I work
But It really is not much to spare an hour or two a YEAR! to help

golgi · 11/11/2009 23:05

Not sure I understand the "ooh but you have time to be posting on Mumsnet so therefore must have time to run a grotto".

Not the same thing at all. I can do this semiconscious on the sofa, do not have to make polite conversation, and can watch TV at the same time.

Also, as a teacher, I have no idea which parents of children I teach are involved with PTA or not, and this therefore makes no difference to how I treat the children. You would in fact have to be a fairly rubbish teacher if you assigned any importance to PTA activity of parents when educating children.

emkana · 11/11/2009 23:06

SolidGold, PTA events instill a sense of community and belonging in the children, and most children I know love going to fairs and the like.

Booyhoo · 11/11/2009 23:07

what a well thought out post mike