To think dd's class mates are really naughty.

[Hando]

I have known since last year that there are 3 children in my dd's class that are very badly behaved. I see this for myself at morning drop off (parents at our school go into the classroom and read with their child until the bell rings) and see their behaviour at pick up time. Also, dd likes to tell me all that happens during the day.

Yesterday at pick up one of the dads said "has he been good today?" in front of his son, to the teacher. Understandably the teacher was a little put out, not exactly appropriate to discuss that infront of the child, but just said "he could try more and could be better". Dd later told me he'd been talking all the way through story time, running about the classroom and generally being naughty. One of the other boys was sent out of the classroom for repeatedly misbehaving. She has said to me that these 3 boys often do this, and I have seen their behaviour so know it is true. I upsets me as I do feel for the teacher, she only has 1 part time TA and a class of 30 must be difficult to handle alone.

Surely these children can't just be "allowed" to disrupt the rest of the class. Dd has said she often gets up and moves seats as she can't listen to the teacher if one of these 3 sits next to her. Yesterday she was unhappy as she missed the story at the end of the day as this boy spoilt it for them all.

My dd can be cheeky and naughty too, I am not claiming she is never badly behaved but she knows that she needs to be well behaved at school. These children are saying no to teachers, running around the room, refusing to sit and do their work, refusing to be quiet. If it were my child behaving like this I'd be mortified and doing everything I could to sort it out. That is not to say they aren't, I know, but one of the boys parents just drop him off each morning leaving him to his own devices until the bell rings. The other morning I caught him snatching something off a quiet boy who was really looking scared. The teacher hadn't noticed (30 kids and lots of parents in the room, so understandable that she can't see everything). He was pulling a face and didn't let go til he got the toy. Another day I saw him stopping my dd from opening her book tray and banging his into her hand, over and over. Both times I have told him to stop and that he was being unkind, but he didn't seem to care. Another one of them swears lots ( he came to dd's party last year and I was disgusted)... they are only 6!

I'm not sure what I can do though, I am assuming nothing... I just seems such a shame that my dd and the rest of her well behaved class are having their education disrupted in this way by these 3 boys.

I would just like to point out that if it's a Y1 class the majority of the children will be 5 some of them may have turned 5 at the end of August which would make them only 5 and 2 months , so still very very young
IME the majority of classes will have at least a couple of disruptive kids in it .

I think you are being a little harsh about the Dad.He was taking an interestin how his child had behaved.Not sure why he shouldn't have asked in front of his DS and where you think he should have put him while he asked.

As a teacher (secondary) I do have to say that the merits of inclusion can affect the learning of others, however, as Society is generally inclusive children need to see what behaviours are out there and how they can deal with them.

However, having said that a child with behavioural issues needs discipline. Praise is very important, but in line with sanctions! These boys should be missing playtime to do 'tidying' up type jobs, they should miss out on more fun activities if they refuse to behave. Swearing in a classroom at any age is not acceptable, it feeds into the anti social behaviour displyaed by many young people in Society today. Seriously if they can not be taught to behave in an acceptable manner in Key Stage 1 it will only get worse and worse. I think the OP is right to complain we need a world where bad behaviour, rudeness and anti social behaviour (spitting, swearing intimidation etc) are not tolerated but challenged.

Agree nappy addict. My ds was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 6 after 4 years of upsetting and disruptive behaviour both at home and at school.

Many of these children are unsupported and failed by the education system and many schools simply do not have the resources or the staff ton deal with children with behavioural problems and you can have the most stable family unit in the world and still have a problem child.

Ds last school failed him miserably. Although one teacher picked up his difficulties the school failed to give him the help he needed and he was bullied and ignored by pupils and teachers.

I moved him to another school, where he continued to be difficult but they were fantastic and his teachers and I work closely together to insure that his needs are met and he is no longer disruptive in class although he still has outbursts now and again. The teachers are concerned he may have Aspergers too.

My dd on the other hand has been on the recieving end of a disruptive child in her class, both he and my dd sit on the same table along with 2 other children. This little boy swears and shouts, throws things, runs around and hits.

My dd at the beginning of term became very withdrawn and refused to go too school very out of charactor as she loves school and takes her work very seriously. I found out that this boy was the problem as she was often on the recieving end of the childs misbehaviour, she couldn't concentrate and was getting told off by her teacher for mistakes in her work (which was rare)

I did go in and have a polite word with her teacher and I did say look I do know what its like to have a disruptive child and I do appreciate that this little boy has problems but it is affecting my dd quite badly and please can something be done about it' The teacher was very understanding and next day my dd and her friend were moved off the table and things have been better.

Trifle I found your post a wee bit upsetting I would hate for my child to be apupil at your school. We as a family have suffered bereavement and loss either through death or family men buggering off all of which has also seriously affected ds too. What would happen if your child experienced a behavioural issue in the future? Would he be expelled from his school? You don't have to come from a Chaotic, don't give a shit family to have problems. I think you should be a little more understanding.

chosenone is right. Rewards are obviously helping to encourage them to behave, but they should also have punishments when they don't.

agree chosenone about the sanctions

ds has sanctions both at home and school, If he misbehaves he goes without something that he loves doing at school like helping with the dinner tables at lunchtime(he does this every day!) At home its the computer of he is grounded (he is 10 years old)

I also am a big fan of routine and proper meals something that helps keep ds on an even keel

I think that the issue here is, what is the school doing? Having had a disruptive child I know I try very hard to control his behaviour when I am around, but I can't do that when I am not there. Your best bet is to work with the school, let them know your concerns but also please don't assume the parents are terrible parents. My DD is an angel at school; my DS is not.

I am a bit puzzled by the comment about the dad asking how good his boy has been because I do this every time I see the teacher - I need to know how he has behaved and if he has been bad then I follow up at home. DS knows if he has been naughty I will find out - why is this bad?

chosenone, I am a secondary teacher too, but completely disagree with you wrt keeping children in at break as a punishment.

Denying children a 'break' from the classroom does nothing to help them to sit still and learn, quite the opposite IME... some children need to expend a certain amount of physical energy, others cannot cope when faced with a seemingly endless amount of time in the classroom. A break is a right (Even employment legislation says so), not a privelege to be withdrawn. They are six.

FWIW, the most effective behaviour modification interventions I have used with children of this age (and at any age)involve no sanctions at all, instead labelling and reinforcing (with something they actually want) of desired behaviours. If used properly, rewards are far more powerful tools than sanctions.

I was about to post the same thing as tethersend, re; break times. Keeping a 5 year old boy inside during break, and not alowing him to burn off some energy is just asking for trouble, IMO.

Christ, privilege

How embarrassing