to think that the average debating ability of Mumsnetters has dropped considerably over the past year?

[colditz]

I was browsing through some old threads earlier, and the general standard of debate has dropped. People here used to be able to follow a thread and give a pertinent response, backed up with careful research. Lately the response is likely to be completely unrelated to the original point, and passive-aggressive to boot.

the biscuit question has been grossly misrepresented it was witty riposte

Is shiney cod?
omg

waves at TA

YOu make me larf IK.

Hmmmm.

imo the average has fallen across the boards, in the sense that there are more of us now and the hard core clever ones all hang out on wankers corner. with these corners and pals' threads there's just as much 'oi you' and in-jokeing going on as ever there was, codename bumsex etc, which i find means those of us without a specific 'home' find this place muuuuuch less inclusive than it used to be. hence moldies, the ultimate home thread.

but it's the way of things, i suppose you either have to accept the changes or take your business elsewhere.

pmsl at shiny/cod

you are on Top Form tonight, Our Kid

yes all that shit moldies got when bloody lyra binks adn oops threads stil exist!

I'm relatively new to MN and have mixed feelings. On some threads I have been really moved by the compassion and care that is offered by women to women, who are complete strangers. I have been moved to tears on occasions and my faith in human nature is restored.

On the other hand I have been amazed at how quickly posters jump to conclusions, decide on someone's motives for behaving in a particular way and at times "diagnose" people as having NPD (or something similar) I had actually never heard of NPD until I came on MN and now it seems commonplace to talk about it. Also passive-aggressive - it is always being mentioned and I don't really know what it is. Can someone tell me please.

I think one of the problems is that if someone complains about a DP/DH/MIL/PIL etc and someone else is having problems with those kinds of relationships, there is an assumption that the OP is totally justified in their complaints and they are urged to "kick him out" "tell her to get lost" etc etc. without any awareness that all r/ships are different and human nature being what it is, all problems are different.

I do get upset at some of the posts from women living in abusive r/ships and where their children are being emotionally abused too (and a recent one where there was physical abuse too)and they post and post and get really supportive replies but it becomes obvious that they are not going to do anything about it. I worry about the kids, even though I know nothing about them.

Mind I find MN a bit compulsive, so it can't be that bad!

Nana - see my joke above - my favourite shortcut explanation to PA

Which my MIL is a great example of

oh there are lots of people all very very keen to form special new groups. That is the nature of this web chat.

Telling us we're all dullards is a little harsh though. I am smarting.

sassy proves my previous point....that's exactly what I said, but..erm...less eloquently

Jsut read yr post more fully Nana - re the women who don't leave abusive relships - no, they don't always, straightaway. But they still need support, and sometimes the worst thing you can say is 'well if you don't leave you're not looking after your kids'. Even if we all might think it from time to time... It takes a lot to break down the conditioning a victim has been subjected to.

/end sermon/

there does seem to be a massive increase in these 'crisis point' threads, i do wonder why that is. clearly some people would say trolling, but perhaps it's just because mn is such a highly indexed site on google. sometimes as a reader i feel a bit voyeuristic and it creeps me out, it can all get a bit Dave Pelzer and i'm just DESPERATE for a laugh about some stupid shite that isn't bum sex and a whole host of other in-jokes.

ah you must never tell an abused woman to leave

as they wont
then they wont come to you again when they relally need help

I can't even bring myself to type bum sex

i think nana was just saying that those threads upset her. they upset me too - horrible when you know there are kids somewhere suffering.

sorry to bum everyone out

as t'were

average seventeen times, they leave, before the final push. it's terrible. otoh as someone who 'supported' a pal in a CATASTROPHICALLY abusive situation and basically gave her a year of my life in order to help her to leave her psycho husband (she didn't), i do sometimes wonder if we're all just helping people peg along and not reach rock bottom.

I find this place much more aggressive than it used to be. In fact, I have had enough and have left MN. I just snuck back on tonight using this name as I feel ill and wanted a bit of snuggly comfort, but of course, it isn't to be had in the same abundance as before.

Sometimes it works Aitch - did you see Starsnstripes?

i think it has gone downhill (abit)...

seems alot more aggressive these days...i don't know.... maybe people are just getting bored..?

as long as monkeytrousers and moondog still post...i'll stay..

the subjects are dull though, usually educational based.

we need a good argument to get het up about

Lacksadaisyical -

Shameless attempt to stoke up controversy and prompt multiple MNers to special pleading about how witty and clever they in particular are on their own little clique thread, which no one ever sees because it's all so big now and all this used to be fields.

0/10.

there are certain MN mantras.sure to be said

on a relationship thread- leave him!disembowel the oppressor.link to i-am-woman-hear-me-roar website
behaviour of someone else children thread - maybe has SN?
nursery thread why have children if you don't see them