to think if your 3 year old pulls your hair you should not do it back?

[nappyaddict]

I know I know I shouldn't judge and it may have been a once in a blue moon thing and never ever happened before and will never ever happen again but the other day I was in Primark and a girl of roughly 3 years old was being carried around by her mum. The girl then pulled her mum's hair and her mum pulled her hair back and said "See, it hurts doesn't it."

Do lots of people do this and it is seen as acceptable because I've never seen it before?

now this is an extremely interesting thread because so far a few of you have admitted that you've bitten your child in order from them to learn from it. Yet a while back I posted a comment and I was in the minority for doing this to DS (he never bit again). Strange how this thread is the complete opposite with many saying they'd use this technique to correct a child.

It was used as a last resort, not because we enjoy biting DS.

I personally wouldn't use the faeces one, too messy and v cruel.

YABU. The woman in the shop pulled her DD hair to teach her a valuable lesson - it bloody well hurts!

It just means that the board has a slightly different membership now lovechoc.

yep, appears that way.

I think there's confusion here with this topic. People don't bite their DC or pull their hair to be cruel, they do it for a reason. To teach a valuable lesson.

People are always looking for the negatives, and a way to slag off others way of parenting. Let others get on with it in their own style. If it works for them, just leave them to it.

I personally haven't bitten DS more than once, and he learned from that very quickly. It was more of a nip rather than a bite, but enough to shock him into thinking twice about ever attempting it again.

DS has done the hair pulling thing too, but I haven't attempted to pull his hair for that. He just gets a row and that's enough normally. It rarely happens now he's getting older.

Good for the others on this thread that cope well enough not to resort to such measures, you are very lucky. No one enjoys having to take these measures, but sometimes it is necessary.

Actually, today at DS's swimming lesson I mentioned this thread in the changing room

Of the 4 mums, all four said they had, and agreed with, biting back and pulling hair back to teach the child it hurts.

One mum's dd2 was a biter and bit dd1 very hard, so mum bit dd2 back.

All four said the child never did it again.

Lovechoc, I made the point way back down the thread that it is a good demonstration of how contrary mn can be. I don't think the membership demographic has changed that much, more that the posters love, as they have since I've been here, to disagree.
You said you bit back, you were flamed. This thread has an op questioning the same techniques, everyone suddenly employs the biting/hair pulling approach.

So in true mn spirit, my two pence worth, it's a bit crap to bite your children, under any circumstances.

lovechoc You said you'd only have bitten him once. Your child did stop biting after you'd bitten him but others have posted saying when they bit back it didn't stop the biting. If your DS had bitten you again, what would you have done instead if you wouldn't bite back twice?

but he didn't bite me back again - he learned his lesson as I've already said. It was a worthwhile deterrant. For those who have children who don't get the message after the first time, it's a hurdle I've not crossed yet so no idea what I'd do. I would think that biting again wouldn't be my approach as it's not something one enjoys doing to their child, let's face it. It's hard to say because I haven't had the experience of it happening repeatedly, nappyaddict.

rather than trying to catch people out, just accept that for some children this approach works brilliantly!

So what do people think about kicking. Would you kick your child back if they kicked you?

you're obviously not one to bite your DC nappyaddict good for you then. But rather than trying to stir up more trouble, just accept that others parent differently to you.

No sane parent wants to hurt their child, but if it's done for a reason to result in them no longer biting or hair pulling then why not use this method. It clearly works for some children.

Others on here have already stated this. If it's been done for years, it shows how effective it is.

I also have a relative who used to break her DD's toy, if her DD broke one of her ornaments or any other belonging of hers. She soon learned not to break any more of her mum's belongings! She was 3 or 4yo at the time. This was many moons ago now! Haven't used that one yet, but would use it as a last resort.

lovechoc why is it you think I'm stirring up trouble? I'm genuinely curious as to what people think.

Have read this all now.

DS1 was a biter and a hair puller.One day he bit me very hard a drew blood....he was 2 1/2 yrs old. I was shocked, I did bite him back but had already spent many weeks telling him not to bite. I bit him just hard enough for him to realise it hurt, left no marks no soreness after a few seconds. He cried and I asked if he liked me biting him, he replied no. He is 11 now and thankfully that was the last time he bit anyone.

As for kicking he also went through this stage I didn't kick him back...I took his shoes away as we were outside at the time and made him walk with no shoes on (was summer anyway). I didn't let him have his shoes back all day. This only worked as they were his special magic shoes lol

I don't know nappyaddict it hasn't come up, he is 5 now and quite civilised so I don't expect it too either. I don't have any hard and fast rules with parenting, tend to deal with things as and when they arise. It seems to work.

Good idea about the shoes TheLadyEvenstar.

Morloth my mum works in a school and this is what they used to do, they are not allowed to now though!