to object to breastfeeding friendly schemes

[Babieseverywhere]

I have been reading this thread and the related website.

I understand that this group has great aims and is/will be helpful to many breastfeeding mothers but I don't like "breastfeeding friendly schemes"

I just think that in asking permission for something we already have a legal right to do, is setting a dangerous precedent. Some cafes/shops might feel having said no to the scheme that they have some right to hassle nursing mothers (which they don't)

I worry that by having safe ghettos areas where breastfeeding is allowed, may cause more problems for mothers who wish to feed where needed and don't wish to be shut away

Surely we should be pushing the law to protect all mothers from feeding their babies in any safe location. My rule of thumb if a baby can be safely bottle fed somewhere, it follows that this is also a suitable place to breastfeed.

I have been feeding left right and centre with DD2 - with DD1 I was a right nervous nellie and stuck to feeding rooms/going home etc.

I honestly think most people don't even notice. Can't imagine what sort of a horrible person would tell a mother to stop feeding a baby FFS. I suspect the pick on people who are looking a bit worried ie they are just nasty bullies and it has sod all to do with being offended. They see someone and identify them as being vulnerable and go in for the kill.

I think stickers are the wrong way to go too, I agree with the other posters who have said that those of us who are not bothered about where we breastfeed should just get on and do it and thereby normalise the whole process. That way those who are less comfortable in public are more likely to come across someone else doing the same thing.

As some others have said, I too am a generally placid, confrontation-averse kinda girl but woe betide anyone who tried to stop me feeding my baby!

I think stickering WILL go towards normalising it. I would happily take a roll of stickers to cafes and ask them to put them up. I think having the stickers raises the topic of breastfeeding in public which is a good thing. I think it should be talked about. I think the having or not having of a sticker means more to the mum than the cafe. I'm not sure staff in the cafes even notice them or understand what they mean but they do provide protection and opportunities for learning and discussion as what happened in my original post. Not having had the sticker would have meant the waitress would have come and spoken to me and my choices would have been to stop or carry on and face being disapproved of. As it was the waitress learned about breastfeeding in public and so did the woman, I was the one given the high ground because of the sticker and other people were 'edcuated' in the process...

Interesting point about the looking worried and attracting bullies, NotTelling.

I had to get used to feeding in public sharpish because we flew to Europe when DS was four weeks old and airports, planes etc aren't the most convenient places for privacy!

So I got fairly confident, fairly quickly - and the only comments I ever got were lovely ones. Maybe different body language might have changed that?

FWIW I agree about stickers asking for 'permission' being potentially counter-productive. The credit card idea is inspired, though.

Oh, I'm a confident feeder. I wouldn't choose only to feed in a place that had the sticker but I'd be glad to see it and use it (especially as an opportunity to educate) if I needed it!

curiosity, I do see what you were saying, however....you are in the right anyway...sticker or no sticker.

If you had a card like Seaglass suggested and your cafe had received a leaflet outlining the fact they could not legally bother with you feeding your baby, you would of felt just as 'in the right' at sticking your ground.

I used to feed walking around the uni library The only thing that worried me was that they had a "no eating or drinking" rule, and I wasn't sure if it applied to the baby...

I tend to be quite confrontational with my BFing. I would make cocktails with the milk on a night out (my reasoning was that the milk was tainted if i had been drinking anyway, so it was no good for the baby) and offer them round as a conversation starter. Once people knew it was ok to ask me questions, they got to find stuff out, and hopefully the next time they saw a woman feeding they didn't feel as uninformed and awkward.

I am a bit of a breastfeeding terrorist

i think bfing is fantastic etc etc but tbh if i saw a cafe with this sticker i might head off to another cafe that might not be full of enormous pushchairs!

Oh and I think it's also often very difficult to tell when someone is breastfeeding. I'm sure the majority of other people don't even notice. My friends rarely noticed when I was feeding whilst sitting chatting to them or pushing my older one on the swing and I'm not sure just feeding in public will normalise it. I think the stickers show that and institution is advocating feeding in public as well as the individual choosing to do it. Since most people are sheep-like when in herds they will be more convinced it is OK by the sticker than by the individual.

• an institution

Lissy,
Your milk is not tainted after drinking alcohol, this is a common breastfeeding myth. I enjoy a glass of wine or two whilst of before feeding my children.

babieseverywhere - but it wasn't me that needed convincing that I was right, it was the waitress and the woman. The fact was they were, if not convinced, educated that this is the modern way now.

babies Really? I got told that again at the antental class a couple of weeks ago (with DD I got told in hospital that I could drink as much as I liked as long as I could still hold the baby without passing out, then the HV nearly called SS on me when I mentioned I had had a half of lager whilst feeding! She actually offered me the number of AA!)

I also think it should be added to the Bounty pack - I'm going to print a copy of my rights to BF when out and about (assuming I manage it of course !)

curiosity, I totally agree that education of cafe owner and staff is the answer.

I disagree that persuading them to 'allow' people to feed by putting up a sticker is reasonable. That opens the door to the fact they might choose not to allow and they can not do this.

I would prefer the cafe be educated that they can not bother nuring mothers, irrelevent of how they feel about this issue. Just like they would be expected to serve people from other minority groups without prejudice.

I would prefer the cafe shop is sent an offical leaflet from the goverment, educating them to the facts as they stand.

she wasn't called kendra was she?
theres one around here spreading her myths...was comparing notes with a friend yesterday whose baby DROPPED from the 50th line to the 25th - obviously she started the baby rice immediately

that was to LG btw
i don't think kendra roams the country breathalysing breastfeeders

Lissy, Search the forum, there are loads of posts on this subject.

Yes, small amounts of alcohol floats into (and out of) your milk. To effect the baby, you would have to be so very drunk, it is unlikely you would choose or be able to feed your baby.

You need to use common sense, with what you are happy with and don't tell the HV ;)

I am proud to say that when I was in my early twenties (10 years ago low lol) and a duty manager in a 5* hotel I asked a customer to leave one of the lounges as he was hassling a BFing mum. He had complained, asked to speak to the manager when no members of staff would tell her to stop. I was wheeled out, tried to find this woman with her boobs out to assess the situation, couldn't see anything (I now realise she was just nursing very discreetly) and went to tackle this offensive old git. I told him there was categorically no way I was going to tell her to stop and maybe he would prefer to leave.

I think it depends where in the country you are. I used to live in North London and there were mums breastfeeding their babies all over the place. I never felt shy about it and happily sat in the middle of Brent Cross feeding. So somewhere like that, I'm not sure that a sticker scheme is necessary. Now I live in Liverpool, and I can count the number of breastfeeding mums I've seen around on one hand. I think stickers in cafes and in shopping centres would be really good here.

maybe places coudl have the stickrs, but use them for information as well?

So rather than just saying "breastfeeding friendly" or whatever it is they say, perhaps they could say "supporting the right to breastfeed ANYWHERE" or something like that?

That would also enable places without actual facilities to support the scheme if they wished (like bumper stickers or whatever)

I think what I dislike about the phrase "breasfeeding friendly" is the implication that other places are therefore breastfeeding unfriendly, whereas of course, they are not legally ALLOWED to be.

tyv thats a good idea, kind of what i was gettibng at, but good slogan

Lol @ Imsonottelling feeding "left, right and centre"

I manage left and right but have never managed centre.

Strangely enough, I have breastfed in all sorts of weird places- cafe, railway platform, aeroplane, packed boat train, Winchester cathedral- and the only time I have ever been made to feel uncomfortable was in the baby clinic at the local hospital where they pride themselves on their breastfeeding support.

Had hardly got dd settled when a nurse came bustling up:
-'You might feel more comfortable in our special nursing room.'
'-No, I'm fine here, actually.'
'-I'll just show you the way to our special nursing room.'
'-Well, I'd rather sit here so I can hear when our number is called.'
'-Now you come with me, dear, and I show you where you can sit and be comfortable.'

13 years later and I'm still wondering what that was all about But thankfully, people in RL seem made of sterner stuff; nobody ever keeled over from the sight of me getting my boobs out.