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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL interfering over having DD babysat on holiday

82 replies

cheeseandbaconquiche · 04/11/2009 19:12

Name changed for this in case I get a pasting but don't really see why I should.

We are planning to go to Thailand next month with DD who will be 4.5 months old.

DH and I have agreed that whilst at the hotel complex we will leave DD with a hotel babysitter for four or five nights so we can go out and have some nice childfree nights.

We will only be a taxi ride away and will have mobiles.

DH has told MIL (although I wouldn't have bothered myself as don't consider it her business). She is worried as DD won't know the babysitter or the customs there.

I'm not worried at all as have been to Thailand a lot and the Thai people are great with kids.

Just wondered if IABU for being peeved that MIL is sticking her oar in.

OP posts:
ThingOneofYourNightmares · 04/11/2009 20:16

It's obviously your call but I think your MIL has very reasonable concerns. I don't think she's interfering at all. She's trying to make you realise that your idea is not a great plan.

I wouldn't have left either of my children with an unknown person at 4.5 months. I wouldn't have considered leaving them "a taxi ride" away with an unknown person.

How much will you really be able to enjoy your evenings if you can't be sure your baby is safe?

wonderingwondering · 04/11/2009 20:17

Relaxed parenting style is taking your young baby on holiday and not minding if they are asleep in the buggy with you, or cuddled up in their sling while you eat your meal. Leaving a baby with a stranger in Thailand would border on negligent, in some (many?) people's opinion.

So as I said before, I wouldn't do it, and I don't blame your MIL for saying something. I think she probably has your interests at heart too - if something went wrong she knows you and her son would never forgive yourself. Sorry if that sounds melodramatic, but leaving such a young child is much more risky than leaving an older child.

StillSquiffy · 04/11/2009 20:19

You are either trolling or barking.

Hotel babysitter whilst you are down in the restaurant? Great idea. Hotel creche for an afternoon so you can snooze by the pool with a book? Yep, that would hit the spot.

Fucking off in a deathtrap taxi leaving DS with a babysitter who will be too frigging scared to call you if something does go wrong but will be instead trying to work out a good story in the time it takes for you to finish dinner and get back?

Bonkers.

RubysReturn · 04/11/2009 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Meglet · 04/11/2009 20:30

I assume this is a wind up but just in case it isn't and you are seriously thinking of swanning off leaving your baby with a stranger then yabu. And you MIL is right.

fannybanjo · 04/11/2009 20:32

cheeseandbacon - is your baby a DS or a DD because in one post, you say DD/her and in another you say DS/he. Think that confirms that this a wind up.

Original poster
cheeseandbaconquiche · 04/11/2009 20:34

He is a DS. I already said earlier I changed him to a DD to try to conceal who I am.

But good sleuthing fanny, well done

OP posts:
handbagsatdawn · 04/11/2009 20:36

Bonkers. Seriously. Take dd (ds?) with you in the buggy while you're eating. They sleep loads at that age, no trouble. Your MIL is right I'm afraid.

kitsmummy · 04/11/2009 20:36

Has to be a troll, I don't think anyone could really be this dumb

famishedass · 04/11/2009 20:37

YABU - how hard do you think it would be for the babysitter to disappear with your baby or sell your baby TO ANYONE WILLING TO BUY HER if you get my drift

Fandango · 04/11/2009 20:37

Why would you want child free evenings after only 4.5 months!!! Bizarre IMO.
Leave your baby at home with your MIL if you are that bothered about it and save her the trip.

AitchTwoToTangOh · 04/11/2009 20:38

i consider myself to have a relaxed parenting style, bordering on benign neglect tbh, but there is no way on earth i'd leave my little baby with a stranger. it's totally unfair of you to characterise your mil as interfering, judging by the majority view on this thread she's being perfectly sensible.

EyeballsintheSky · 04/11/2009 20:38

So assuming you are not winding us up, doesn't the number of posters assuming you are point to the fact that you're being ridiculous? Or do you not care as your DD/DS whatever will obviously get in the way of your jolly.

Iggi999 · 04/11/2009 20:38

Am thinking of leaving DS (2.5) with a hotel babysitter for the evening of our wedding night in Europe - we would be downstairs in the hotel restaurant though. Not sure I'll be able to do even this.

Undercovamutha · 04/11/2009 20:38

Up to you - your child, but I would NEVER do it. I have never left either of my DCs with a babysitter (other than family), and when I once left DD (3) in the IKEA creche for 40 mins (cos SHE wanted to go there) I couldn't relax.

MuGGGhoulWump · 04/11/2009 20:40

I did similar, though less extreme I suppose and left my then 1yr old with babysitters in Indonesia though I wasn't a taxi away, more a 5 minute walk with full details of where I'd be.

I was also there 10 weeks and got to know the people a bit and saw them with DD before I left her. It was for 1-2 nights a week and sometimes an hour or two in the afternoon.

I wouldn't feel comfortable with the taxi ride away I don't think and probably not the age either but if you are, then it's your baby.

fannybanjo · 04/11/2009 20:48

cheeseandbacon, sorry missed that post about your DD being a DS, it was lost amidst the bullshit you are posting.

Morloth · 04/11/2009 20:49

I dunno, I am pretty relaxed, have dragged DS all over Asia, Europe and the US have had a blast during that time but never felt the need to leave him like that.

He does do kid's clubs now and has done since he was able to speak, but only at reputable hotels where the staff are properly checked and there isn't just one person.

When we were going out and he was really that little I just tucked him into the hugabub and continued with the day/evening.

posieparker · 04/11/2009 20:54

Why would you leave a baby, a non talking 100% dependent with a stranger in a different country, no reliable references that you can check, no UK crb checks, no training that you can quantify?

Good God it's Thailand, they love children and are welcome almost anywhere why wouldn't you take the baby with you, everywhere?

Lotster · 04/11/2009 20:54

Jesus Wept,I do hope that's trip trapping I can hear...

AitchTwoToTangOh · 04/11/2009 20:55

actually, yeah, ffs the baby's only going to be four and a half months old, just get a sling and get on with your evening together.

AnyFuleKno · 04/11/2009 21:00

god can't you just put the poor wee soul in a sling and take them with you? Imagine flying them halfway round the world to leave them in a strange place with a stranger. I thought I'd never say this on a MIL thread but she is right (and being very reasonable and polite)!

Please reconsider this.

MollieO · 04/11/2009 21:01

At that age I'd take your dd/ds/poodle/etc to the restaurant in a pushchair. I wouldn't feel happy leaving him/her/it a taxi ride away. Thailand isn't exactly unknown weather problems and/or civil riots or other suddenly and unexpectedly occurring issues.

cleanandclothed · 04/11/2009 21:08

You are right about the Thai people loving little babies, at leeast in our experience (DS 6 months). So why not take advantage of this, take DC out with you, and you might well find lots of restaurant staff happy to cuddle, push the pushchair etc? Don't worry about it too much until you get there. But actually I wouldn't take it for granted that a hotel would look after a child that small. Quite a lot say 'babysitting' but it is from 2 years upwards.

hocuspontas · 04/11/2009 21:17

lol at poodle in a pushchair!

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