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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to go to a football match instead of my best friend's DD's 3rd birthday party?

24 replies

neenz · 04/11/2009 11:26

My best friend text me last night to say she is having a birthday party for her DD (3) on a saturday next month at her house, about 50 miles away.

I have a ticket to watch my team play Chelsea that day. I go to most home games and my friend obviously knows that.

I have told her I have a ticket for the game but that I feel bad to miss the party, and she text bag 'Don't worry if you can't make it' (I don't think she was being funny with me)

But I feel really really bad saying no to the party in favour of football. I think family and friends should come before football, but I see her and her DDs all the time, do you think she would be really hurt if I go to the football instead of the party?

OP posts:
Vallhala · 04/11/2009 11:32

There's no contest. Or rather, if there is and a 3 year old's party wins, then please may I have the ticket?!

The DD isn't yours, you are presumably a mum yourelf and entitled to adult time. You can catch up with the 3 year old another day, make it up to her, take her out for the day.... but you must, must be at the Bridge at 3pm on that Saturday. Sorry, but JT, Drogba and Lamps won't wait til the party's over!

(PS Which match are you going to, go on, make me even more jealous?).

Firawla · 04/11/2009 11:40

perhaps you can buy her an extra nice present to make up for it? i think as you have the ticket already bought in advance its not too bad, most people would understand, and it seems your friend is not being too weird about it so would take her @ her word and dont worry about it

Vallhala · 04/11/2009 11:55

Apologies - just read your post properly and see that your team are playing AGAINST Chelsea.

The same advice applies, just prepare to lose!

Original poster
neenz · 04/11/2009 12:27

lol Valhalla, yes my team is at home to Chelsea.

Thanks for your replies. I will have a proper chat to her to make sure she doesn't mind.

Still makes me feel uncomfortable - I can see people at the party saying 'where's Neenz' and my friend saying 'she's gone to the football' and them going

OP posts:
Rolf · 04/11/2009 14:41

Hi Neenz Go to the football. It's a no-brainer, and I hate football!

vivaGlasvegas · 04/11/2009 15:13

neenz you know my views on your team and I'd still go to the football! the DD won't mind, there'll be lots of other people there to make a fuss of her, and she'll get an exra fuss made of her the next time you see her - result!

geordieminx · 04/11/2009 15:17

which team?

Hulababy · 04/11/2009 15:27

You already have a ticket paid for and you have told her upfront right at the start. No need to feel guilty. Just get her DD a lovely gift and find time to call in on her on or around her bithday with that and a card, and take time out to have a chat and play

It would be differen if you had had the invite already and then decided to go out and buy a ticket for thesame time - but you haven't.

thesecondcocking · 04/11/2009 15:44

i left dp with the baby on saturday while i went to the pub,then to a 5.30 kick off then me going back to the pub.
during the time i was away he had to put her in fancy dress and take her trick or treating and then to a party at some mutual friends.
go to the match-i hope you win...

freyski · 04/11/2009 21:20

theres a rule in my house, if you have a ticket for the football this supersedes all other events. this rule is understood and agreed by all parties!

Original poster
neenz · 05/11/2009 12:03

I do get really annoyed though when DH's football (Liverpool) seems to be more important than everything else. I don't mind the home games, obviously, but then there's all the games on the telly plus Euro games then the games that are not supposed to be on the telly but are being shown in the pub on saudi tv.

He doesn't 'do' all these games (though he would if I didn't mind) but his friends do and think it their right. I think he should go to the home games and keep an eye on the score in the away games cos in the old days there was no saudi tv and everyone survived!

When an important family Sunday dinner (eg mum's birthday) has to be moved forward or back because of a game on the telly it makes me so .

OP posts:
Original poster
neenz · 05/11/2009 12:09

And I am a football fan!

Though I think that makes me less understanding because I watched my team home and away when I was in my early 20s but now I have a family so there are other priorities.

I can support my team quite satisfactorily by going the home games and anything else is a bonus. I think some other DWs are taken in by the 'more important than life and death' thing! (and the DHs take advantage )

OP posts:
BelfastBloke · 05/11/2009 12:19

If it helps:

My DW and I have a romantic weekend in Paris booked (Thurs pm to Sun). I'll be coming back on the Sunday morning in order to watch the football match, and she'll be coming back in the evening.

I'm probably going to the same match you are.

Original poster
neenz · 05/11/2009 13:40

Well, if your wife doesn't mind!

But that would spoil a romantic break a little bit for me because travelling together is part of the fun (or makes the rubbish part of a weekend away more bearable). Why did you book it that weekend if you were coming back from the game?

It's Man City and a Saturday game so not the same team I don't think (didn't say before in case of identifying myself in case my friend read it but I think I have given enough away already).

OP posts:
daftpunk · 05/11/2009 13:43

football = fun & excitement

childrens party = mind numbingly boring

no contest

mankyscotslass · 05/11/2009 13:50

Go to the gamne! You already have the ticket so I don't see a problem.

Mr Manky and eldest Manky boy will be there!

Rollmops · 05/11/2009 13:52

How could you possibly be so callous and want to miss a 3 year old birthday party of a darling child, for a football match??????????? Shame! Shame on you!

[Now, had you been you talking about a rugby match, I'd say, no contest, the 3 year old will have many more birthdays and one couldn't possibly miss a game of rugby for that]

Original poster
neenz · 05/11/2009 14:19

Well I have to admit I did think '3rd birthday party = blurgh"

OP posts:
2rebecca · 05/11/2009 18:22

Why should you go to a friend's kid's party? Have never invited friends to my kids' parties, the ones with kids have their own kids to look after and the ones without would regard it as torture. If your friend needs extra help getting one of the kids at the party's mums or dads to help would make more sense.
Don't see the problem here, you have a prior engagement, what it is is irrelevent.

Vallhala · 05/11/2009 20:35

Man City?

You've got no chance against my lads!

thesecondcocking · 05/11/2009 23:51

ha ha ha ha ha ha
you are a MASSIVE club and erm i am sure you'll do well (this is killing me,as a red,i'd fucking love you to beat them-but then again-it's City and i just don't think i can wish you well) sorry.
i hope for a nil nil drawer and about 9 sending offs if possible,and possibly some injuries to fat frank,didier and that weasel faced terry bloke...

Vallhala · 06/11/2009 00:04

ONLY 9 sending offs? How minimalistic can you get!

FAT Frank?! Well now I'm deeply offended!

To tell the truth we've done ok but we're buggered when Roman takes his ball home and refuses to pay play anymore!

thesecondcocking · 06/11/2009 00:09

i know,thank fuck we've got the erm Glazers {faints emoticon}

Vallhala · 06/11/2009 01:12

So its settled then? Sorry, no can do to the party and footie here you come?

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