Am I being unreasonable, my Mother in law has given my daughter a present on my sons birthday, and my son a present on my daughter's birthday. On my sons birthday (he was 1 dd was 2) I managed to hide the present and give her the toy about a week later as MIL was not at my ds' birthday so not a problem.
At my dd's 3rd birthday though my dd went to open one of her presents only to be told it was not hers but her brothers.. dd burst into tears as didn't understand why it wasn't hers as she rightly asumed all the presents were for her to open. Over the tears I explained to my MIL that I had told my dd before my ds's birthday that on someones birthday only that person gets presents as it is their special day. DD had been absolutely fine with that, no jealousy, just excited about that it would one day be her birthday. I think it would have been polite for my MIL to have told me prior to their birthdays that she wished to do this, as even if I didn't like it, I could have at least explained to dd that this was something that Grandma does. Instead the present was just left on the floor, no label, no explanation until DD went to open it.
My MIL has now explained why they are getting presents, but only after I asked why, she said she likes to buy her grandchildren a present on their siblings birthday "so they don't feel left out". I really don't agree with this, but it was only after my dd was in tears that I knew about my ds's present. MIL told me she does it for her daughters children and has always done that, it's something 'they do'. After explaining to her that I had explained to my daughter that only the person whose birthday it is gets presents on their birthday, they hid the present for my ds (who being 1 had no idea what was going on anyway).
I felt so awkward at saying something but needed to as I feel it's important that they don't 'expect' presents on others birthdays. Also it was confusing for my dd as was the opposite to what I had explained to her.. I told MIL how grateful I was for the present and she was welcome to give it to my ds on any other day but my dd's birthday.
Am I being unreasonable? I now feel so awkward about it, I'm truly grateful for her treating the other, but it's not how I wish to do things.
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Presents for brothers and sisters on their siblings birthday
137 replies
sleepsforwimps · 02/11/2009 09:51
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